Heartless Orfhlaith
by Snowanchester
Summary: Enchanted Forest AU. No curse. A prophecy condemns Snow White and Charming's daughter : when she's 24, her heart will be stolen. In order to avoid this fate, her parents decide to accept Rumplestiltskin's interested help, who removes the heart from the baby's chest. Doomed to grow up without a heart, will Emma ever be able to love ? That's what a cheeky pirate hopes...
1. The sunniest day of October

**A/N : Here it is, the 1st chapter of this new story, which is my _very first multi-chapter CS fic_ - I don't take _Holding a Heart_ into account, I kind of dropped this one because... writer's block._ I'd like to thank each person who's currently reading these lines_. _I've worked very hard on this fi_c, so I hope you'll like it. The idea came to me last January and I started to write it on late April, so you see, it's a loooooong work. **

**A few things before you begin to read :**

** First off, I am not a native speaker. I'm French, and even though I'm an English major, I've never set foot in any English-speaking country. So, obviously, you'll find mistakes despite all my care. Plus this story is not beta-ed. For some odd reason, I don't want anyone to read my fics before they're finished. So in a nutshell, mistakes you shall find, sorry about that.**

**Then, the punctuation : as you'll see, I leave a space between the words and the exclamation/question marks. It's because it's a French rule, and I can't just forget about it, I've always written like that ! So I hope it won't bother you. Same goes for the comma _after_ the quotation marks. I make a big effort about the dialogues because in French they aren't written this way either, so if you find them weird, it's because it's not natural for me !**

**You'll find notes here and there within the chapters. It's because I did a lot of research and nothing is used randomly in my story. I purposely blended medieval, pagan and more modern influences.**

**Last but not least, I dedicate this chapter to Irene aka irenesowhat and Diana aka holdinghaldavidstarlight on Tumblr, because it's their birthday tomorrow :D Irene, thank you so much for your precious support. **

**Well, that's pretty much all. I feel so nervous. I've read so many incredibly good CS fics so I hope this one won't disappoint you. Bear in mind that it's only the first chapter and I am trying to set things in motion here. I really hope you'll stick with me and that this first chapter will at least make you curious about what's next ! **

**Lots of love, and enjoy your reading ! (:**

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**_In the night, I hear them talk the coldest story ever told_**  
**_ Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul_**  
**_ To a woman so heartless._**

**Kayne West, _Heartless_.**

.

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October was slowly turning the land of Elanoriah (1) to a palette of fawn and red. The trees gave up their summer leaves, the air let go of its warmth, the animals started to look for a place to spend the winter, the flowers withered away under the benevolent eye of the nymphs. As the sun was slowly chasing the night away, coloring the sky with a pink veil, a princess came to this enchanted world. The land seemed to understand it, for as soon as she released her first cry, the forest awoke : the fairies burst out of their dens, the birds sang more beautifully than ever, and the fairy god-mothers of all the realm headed to the Royal Castle. Yes, the land _knew_. They all knew that this princess, the daughter of Snow-White and Prince Charming, was going to change their lives forever, and that the land would never be the same.

At the edge of the Enchanted Forest stood the Castle of Eurwen (2). The whiteness of its stone made it constantly shining, whether under the silver beams of the moon or the incandescent rays of the sun. Its towers were high in the sky, reaching for the clouds, and, at times, it seemed like they did. A great lake surrounded the royal dwelling, its water glowed with the rising sun and reflected the welcoming sky of this new day. The left wing of the castle was filled with the screams of the Queen and the moans of the nervous King. Everybody was up, excited to see the long-awaited baby. Soon, the courtyard was overwhelmed by a huge crowd : peasants, stallholders, millers, soldiers, all the people got up with the sun hoping to see the product of True Love. For the Queen and the King of this realm were known as the luckiest lovers in the universe. Their love was bound to transcend the centuries, they had gone through all the obstacles fate had put on their way. True Love had hit them and had brought peace to the kingdom. As long as they would love each other, this world would never crumble. And a princess born from this kind of love was sure bound to be a gift, both for the parents and the kingdom.

When the light of the sun invaded the whole land with its brightness, the doors of the main balcony opened and the King took a step forward to the cornice, the little princess crying in his arms. A clamor raised in the morning air, all the rabble was jubilant. Jiminy Cricket, the councellor of the King and Queen, spoke loudly in his horn :

« Hail to the Princess Emma Elea of Elanoriah ! »

The crowd immediately repeated the line in unison, and the name of the new-born echoed in all the kingdom, blending with the singing of the nightingales and the screams of the west winds. In this moment, just like the meaning of her name, Emma was universal.

Inside the royal bedroom, the doctors took care of the Queen, exhausted but smiling. Charming came back to her side and put the baby in her arms.

« Did they like the name we chose ? » Snow-White asked staring at her beloved daughter.

« Sure they did my love, she's already cherished by all our people » the Prince replied in a smile.

Snow-White smiled back at him, rocking the baby in her arms and singing her to sleep.

« _A leanbh mo chléibh go n-eirí do chodhladh leat  
__Séan is sonas gach oíche do chóir_

_Tá mise le do thaobh ag guídhe ort na mbeannacht  
Seothín a leanbh is codail go foill_. »(3)

_« Child of my heart, sleep calmly_  
_And well all night and be happy_  
_I'm by your side praying for blessings on you,_  
_Hush-a-bye, baby and sleep for now. »_

« Close your eyes sweetheart » she whispered as Emma's eye lids fell heavily.

The little girl's breath was even and calm. Her skin was soft and pink, and golden hair was already covering her head. She was the couple's most prized possession, the product of their undying love, their flesh and blood. After all they had gone through, here they were, surrounded by the love of their people and finally forming a family. The end of the tale was written, their happy ending had come. Charming sat by her wife's side and put his hand on hers.

« I couldn't be any happier », he said to her.

« Nothing could ever darken this day my love », Snow White replied as she held her baby girl tight.

But if this were to be the end of the tale, I would not bother tell it. All of a sudden, a purple whirl of smoke appeared in front of them. Snow heard the doors lock up, and Charming reached for his sword. The smoke vanished and revealed... an_ imp_.

« Who are you ? » Charming thundered.

«Now, this is not a civil way to welcome the savior of your kingdom dearie. You remind me of a certain caterpillar... Good old times. » the imp theatrically answered.

« Who. Are. You. » Charming repeated, getting closer to him.

The imp sighed and bowed ceremoniously. « Rrrrumpelstiltskin, at your service my King », he replied with a grin.

« You won't have my baby you monster ! I never made a deal with you ! » cried Snow-White, holding her baby tighter.

The imp rubbed his forehead. « Ugh, my reputation precedes me I see », he stated. « Dearie, I'm not here for your baby. Well, not that _directly_ at least. I'm here to help you save your lovely kingdom. »

« Our kingdom is just fine,_ imp _», the King snapped.

A dull grin curved Rumplestiltskin's lips. « Indeed it is. For _now._ »

« What do you mean 'for now' ? » Snow inquired, frowning.

« The birth of your beloved daughter is truly a blessing for you my Queen, but I'm afraid it won't bring peace to this land. On the contrary. »

« Just stop being evasive », Charming mumbled. « Straight to the point. »

Rumpelstiltskin gazed at him, and then at his wife. Silent filled the room as the three of them observed each other, nervously waiting. Suddenly, the imp turned his back on them and walked towards the window.

« There is a prophecy », he started. « On the sunniest day of October a baby will come to this world. But by her 24th birthday, her heart will be stolen from her, bringing chaos to the kingdom of Elanoriah and all the land we know. » He turned his back again, and looked at the royal couple. « Your sweet daughter will be the death of us all dearies. »

« What are you talking about ? This is insane ! » the Queen screamed.

« Why would we believe you ? » questioned the king. « As you said, your reputation precedes you, and all you care about is your own interest. So even if this were true, why would you help us ? And how on earth would you be the only one to know about it ? »

« Not the King of deduction I see. » mocked the imp. « Well, first if all the land ends up being destroyed, I am concerned too I'm afraid. And second, helping you means _making a deal with you,_ and I am really interested in the most magical of all True Love couples owing me. »

« So that's it », Snow-White added. « One of your manipulations. »

« Indeed my Queen. But you'd better take my warning seriously. I may be a manipulative _imp_, but I happen to know things... And the future does not look too good for your baby. Unless... »

« Unless what ? » Snow-White hastily inquired.

The imp's lips parted into a wide grin. Finally. _They were his_. « Oh, now you believe me dearie ? »

« If what you say is true », added Charming, « this is not only the sake of our land that is in danger, but also our _daughter_'s sake. What can we do to avoid this fate ? »

« You only have to give it a literal answer my dears. The most logical thing to do : her heart must be removed from her chest. »

A shiver of terror shook the parents as they looked down upon their daughter. « You mean... » Charming said as calmly as possible, « you mean that we have to _rip her heart out._..? »

« You're more perceptive than I thought you were my King. » answered Rumpelstiltskin. « Indeed, this is the only solution. »

« But... The heart is then controlled by the person who ripped it off isn't it ? That's why you want us to do that. »

« Oh, dearie, you hurt my feelings. I wouldn't do this, ever. »

« Still, you're the only one able to do it », Snow-White scoffed.

« I sure am. »

« But it's not logical. You want to put her heart somewhere else... but it'd be easier to steal it _out of her_ than_ in her_. » Snow noted with perplexity.

« Not if you hide it well. Somewhere no one knows about. Be creative and it'll be safe. »

« What do you want in return ? »

« Nothing. Just a favor. From _her_ », he said as he pointed the baby with his greasy finger.

Snow-White and Charming looked at each other, scared and confused. This was not good. At all. It was too risky. If they accepted, their daughter would be at his mercy. But if they didn't... Her heart would be stolen, she would probably die, they would all die in a complete chaos. They could not allow this. They were in charge of this realm, their people counted on them. Too many things were at stake. They had to _trust_ the Dark One. He only cared about himself, he did horrible things, but he was not a liar.

« Is it going to hurt her ? » Snow-White asked with a trembling voice.

« She's a baby, she won't feel anything. I'm pretty good at this... I have a good... _dexterity_. If I don't want it to hurt, then it doesn't. You have my word. »

The lovers looked at each other once again. They didn't need to talk. They thought the same. They _felt_ the same. They were both afraid, afraid for their baby, afraid for their love, afraid for their kingdom, afraid for all they had managed to build. They knew how powerful fate was. Only Rumpelstiltskin could help them thwart its plans.

« So, do we have a deal ? » inquired Rumpelstiltskin, rolling out a parchment and holding out a quill to them.

« You rip her heart out and then what ? » cautiously asked Snow-White.

« Then, you will keep it wherever you'd like. It'll be yours to hide. What happens after this morning is none of my business. You sign, I rip the heart off, and I disappear. Deal ? »

The royal couple took a deep breath. Charming took the quill first. « Deal », he sighed. He signed at the botton of the parchment, his heart pounding with every scratch of the quill. Then Snow did the same, restraining the shivers that coursed through her body.

« Well well well », Rumpelstiltskin beamed. « This might be my best deal yet. Now let's see this little heart of hers. » He made the parchment disappear with a flick of the wrist and approached the bed on which the Queen lied, holding on to Emma. Rumpelstiltskin looked at Snow-White. « The baby, if you please. »

The young lady started to panick. What if they were doing the wrong thing ? They were condemning their own daughter to grow up without a _heart_. Without emotions. She wouldn't know what love is until her 24th birthday. She wouldn't know the adolescent joy of falling in love for the first time, the butterflies in the stomach, the magic of the first kiss. She wouldn't know how much her parents love her. They would raise a heartless princess, who would not even care for them. They would love a child unable to love, a ghost. A cold angel. But... did they really have a choice ? Reluctantly, the Queen gave up her child to the Dark One. She felt the hand of her husband resting on her shoulder. Its warmth calmed her a bit, she closed her eyes. They were doing the right thing. They were protecting their baby.

Rumpelstiltskin took Emma in his arms, rocking her softly. Snow-White and Charming were very surprised by his tender behavior. The infamous sorcerer was holding their little girl with caution, and his eyes were shining with an emotion they had never seen. He raised his right hand above her chest. Charming's hand tightened Snow-White's while the other weighed heavily on her shoulder. Suddenly, the Dark One's hand dived into the baby's body, and Snow-White let a cry escape from her mouth. A second later, their daughter's heart was in the palm of his hand, pounding fastly. It was the most little heart Rumpelstiltskin had ever held, smaller than a plum. It was also the most shining heart of them all : so much light, so much life in this tiny thing !

The Dark One gave back Emma to her mother, for she had started to cry. He shook his left hand and a glass box appeared in it. He put the heart in the box with delicacy, and gave it to Charming. « You own her heart. Be careful with it. Don't let anybody get it. The consequences could be... _tragic_. » And as he stressed this last word, a purple smoke envelopped him, and the next second, he was gone. The doors unlocked and the servants and guards rushed into the room.

« Your majesties, is everything all right ? » a guard asked. « We could not come into the room ! »

« Yes, everything is fine Cadell. I... We have to confess some of you something. Cathán, Harold, Carys4 and Mary, please stay here. The others, I will ask you to leave, thank you. »

The servants agreed and left them alone. The ones remaining were confused.

« I asked you to stay because the Queen and I trust all of you with our lives », Charming started to say. Afterwards, he explained them what had happened. He needed them to know.

« If we're telling you about this », Snow-White said, « it's because we need you to help us protect her heart. No one else can know about this. Do you understand ? »

« Yes my Queen », the four of them answered in unison.

« Good. You can leave us now. »

They departed, leaving the King and Queen to their demons. For none of them was feeling well after what happened. Who would ?

« Do you think we made the right choice ? » Snow-White asked, looking at her daughter.

« I honestly don't know Snow », her husband replied. « But... We did our best. We hadn't much of a choice. »

« She will grow up heartless, cold and... I wouldn't wish this to my worst enemy and now... »

« Stop beating yourself up my love », he said as he lied by her side. « We will give her love no matter what. And when she's 24, she'll get it back, and it'll be all right. She's _our_ daughter. She'll make it through. »

Snow smiled. Emma would make it. She saw how glowing her heart was. This was a sign. Their daughter was bound to live a great life, full of good things. Ironically though, this sunny day had seen the birth of the longest-awaited princess. But the light would not shine on this heart of hers.

Not before her 24th birthday.

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(**1**) A word I invented. It's composed of _Elanor,_ which means "_star-sun_" in Sindarin (language invented by JRR Tolkien) and _Iah_ which means "_moon_" in Egyptian

(**2**) It comes from the Welsh _aur_ "gold" and _gwen_ "white, fair, blessed". This Castle has always been ruled by fair people and embodies justice.

(**3**) _Seoithín, Seo Hó_, Irish lullaby.

(**4**) Cadell : From Welsh cad "battle". Cathàn : Derived from Gaelic cath "battle". Harold : From the Old English name Hereweald meaning "leader of the army", derived from the elements here "army" and weald "leader, ruler". Carys : Derived from Welsh caru meaning "love".

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**A/N : Please, feel free to tell me what you think ! Hope to see you (well, you know what I mean) when I publish the second chapter :)**


	2. Deirdre's lullaby

**A/N : Thank you so much for the positive response ! Thanks for following/favoriting/reading this story, it means a lot to me :) I'm glad to see that you like the plot/idea. I also noticed that the quotation marks 'bothered' the English speakers a little, but it'll change from chapter 7 (aka the moment when I changed the settings of my word processor to English). **

**This chapter will be about Emma's childhood (one day). Her governess is Granny._ Pay attention to the wolves, it's foreshadowing..._**

**I'm still not a native speaker, this story is still not beta-ed, the punctuation is still French, and mistakes you shall find. **

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**Chapter 2 : Deirdre's Lullaby**

_5 years later_

_._

_._

« Princess ! My lady, please, come over here ! »

A red shadow was running in the snow that covered the ground of the gardens of Eurwen. The white mantle of cold crunched underfoot and echoed in the stillness of the air. The swift shadow stopped at the sound of her nanny's voice, breathless. Locks of golden hair flew out of the hood of her red cloak as the penetrating brisk colored her cheeks in pink. She wanted to run again, chase the snowflakes carried away by the wind of December. But the night was slowly falling upon the realm, and soon, the moon would rise in the veil of the night.

« Please, little lady, let's go back inside. You don't want the wolves to eat you, do you ? »

Emma rose her head and an expression of childish disdain appeared on her face. « They can come if they want to », she said with determination. « I'm not afraid of them. Father taught me how to fight. »

« Sure he did princess », the nanny answered with a smile, « but a five-year-old lady is not strong enough to deal with the wolves, trust me. »

« Have you ever seen one of those Mary ? »

The aformentioned looked down, lost in haunting memories that lingered in her tired eyes. « More than I would've wanted », she lowly answered. « Now come, a warm bath is waiting for you. »

The princess nodded and, after a quick look towards the Enchanted forest, she ran towards her governess. She could play outside whenever she'd like. She was the princess of Elanoriah after all. The wolves had better brace themselves, for the impetuous red shadow was fearless. _Literally_.

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« Be carefull Mary ! It's hot ! »

« I'm sorry my lady, but if you didn't move that much, it'd be easier for both of us ! »

Emma was sitting in a wooden bath, her arms crossed and her eyebrows furrowed with annoyance._ She hated baths._ It was such a waste of time. But she had to admit it, after the cold of the gardens, this hot water was a blessing. Her governess Mary was gently pouring the water on her head as another servant rubbed her hair with leaves of walnut tree1.

« Mary ? » Emma suddenly asked while playing with the water.

« Yes my lady ? » her governess answered.

« Why am I so mean ? »

Mary froze and after a few seconds, she put her pitcher on the floor. _That_ was unexpected. « 'Mean' my lady ? Why on earth would you think that ? »

« I thought about the wolves... », the little girl said, her eyes set upon the circles she was drawing on the water . « I wouldn't care killing them. I'm sure I could do it in a heartbeat. And last summer I tore the wings of twelve butterflies. Mother doesn't know about it. But I'm sure she would be really sad. »

The governess felt her heart racing. She knew that eventually, the little princess would have to know the truth about this hole in her chest. It would answer a lot of questions. She was not a wicked child, she was sweet and lively and she knew how to distinguish Good from Evil. But she didn't _feel_ anything. She knew nothing about compassion, sadness or true joy. The old governess thought she was too young to realize it. But obviously, on top of being a fearless little princess, she was also very smart. « You are not mean princess », Mary assured.

Emma looked up at her nanny, truly confused. « Then why do I do these horrible things ? And... why don't I regret anything ? I'm sure I would do it all over again. I'm a demon. Carys told me those stories about evil imps who rip hearts off because they _enjoy_ it. »

The governess sighed and closed her eyes. By the great Goddess, Carys didn't know how to hold her tongue. « Did you enjoy it when you tore the wings of the butterflies ? » she softly asked.

The princess pondered a moment, and then shook her head. « No, I did not. »

« Then you are_ not_ mean my dear. »

« But why do I do such things ? » Emma asked, crossing her little arms over her chest.

« I... You're a child, you want to... experiment things I guess. »

« But why- »

« Get out of the bath sweetheart, the water is not warm anymore, you're going to catch a cold. » The governess took the young lady in her arms and wrapped a thick towel around her. She rubbed her down and started to comb her hair. « I saw Evil once », she said after a few minutes of silence.

« You did ? » Emma asked with surprise.

« Yes. In the eyes of a wolf. » Emma noticed how Mary breathed with every movement of the comb, running through her hair and then coming again at the top of her head. « One of them slaughtered my family. I saw everything, I was sitting on the roof of our house. But I fell off the ground, right in front of him. He looked at me with his yellow eyes... I saw death in them. Mine. »

The little princess tilted her head to the side. « But he didn't kill you. »

« He did worse child. But you're too young to hear this story. Just know that Evil exists, and you are not cast in the same mould as this wolf of yore, I promise. »

Emma smiled at her nanny. She hadn't answered her questions. She felt as confused as she was before she asked them. This emptiness inside of her... She didn't know how to explain it. She felt somewhat... different. Different from Ruby for example, Mary's grandaughter. She was so cheerful and kind. She was her friend. And though... Often, at night, when everybody thought she was asleep, she pondered upon her feelings. If anything happened to Ruby... She wouldn't care. She wouldn't cry. She had already cried, when she had fallen off from that apple tree six moons ago and broken her leg. But when the rabbit she had taken in had died, she hadn't shed a single tear. If this didn't mean she was Evil... Then what was wrong with her ?

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« Emma, come to bed, I've got something for you ! »

It was now time for the little elf to fall into Morpheus's arms. Snow-White was sitting on her daughter's bed, a big four-poster walnut bed with lavander curtains, waiting for her to slip under the sheets. The little princess jumped onto the mattress and got under the ermine blanket. « What do you have for me mother ? » she asked with a suspicious look.

Snow-White smiled and held out a small round mahogany box, on which was drawn a swan with a yellow flower on its plumage.

« What is this ? » Emma inquired.

« It's called a music box. I asked Marco to make this one for you. »

The little girl's eyebrows furrowed as perplexity filled her twinkling eyes. « A _music box_ ? But how could a box make music ? »

The Queen softly smiled to her daughter, savoring her surprise. « Magic honey. It's an enchanted wood. Marco had a fairy blowing her singing into the box. Now open it. »

Emma did so, cautiously. As soon as the box opened, a feminine figurine started to spin on her axis, her hand resting on the head of a beautiful white swan. The music that escaped from this precious and curious object was very soothing... and familiar.

« Mother, what is this melody ? » Emma asked in a troubled tone.

« You remember it ? » answered her mother, surprised. « I used to sing this song to you when you were a baby. I sang it to you the day you were born. »

« It's in gaelic isn't it ? »

« Indeed it is. Gaelic is the language of our ancestors, the language of magic. The first spells were all written in gaelic because it enhances its powers. It's also the symbol of the unity of our world. _All_ the inhabitants of Draiochtland speak it, and so will you, once you're old enough to learn. »

« When will that be ? »

« Soon sweetheart, soon. I gave this to you so you'll always remember me, your father and your childhood. You must never let go of the child in you Emma. Childhood is dreaming. And dreaming is hope. »

Emma listened carefully to her mother, trying to make sense out of what she was hearing. She knew she would have to grow up eventually. But she didn't want to. Being an adult seemed boring. The responsibilities, the feasts, the speeches... Once an adult she'll be closer to become the Queen of Elanoriah, and she didn't want this. All she wanted was eating waffles and running in the snow. And going to the Enchanted Forest, needless to say. She dreamt about adventure, seeing beyond the horizon. And for now, this horizon was the crown and a husband. A_ husband_. She did not see the point in marrying a prince, she didn't understand why princesses had to fall in love. And what was this, « falling in love » ? Do you fall to the ground ? It sounds like it hurts. Why would one desire this ?Adults are weird creatures. Emma was sure even the leprechauns were smarter and more logical.

« I chose the story of Deirdre(2) tonight, do you want to hear it ? » her mother said, an old book resting on her lap.

« Sure mother. What is it about ? »

A tender smile curved Snow's rosy lips. « Love. »

Emma sighed and rested her chin on her hand. She could not escape this thing that was love. What made it so special ?

Her mother opened the leather-covered book. Her fingers flew from page to page, turning the yellowish leaves with tenderness. Suddenly, she stopped at a page more worn out than the others. «_ Once there was a chieftain_, » her mother began, « _Fedlimid mac Daill. Prior to her daughter's birth, Cathbad the Druid foretold her future. He said that she would be the most beautiful woman in Elanoriah*, with golden tresses and lovely green eyes. Because of this, she would be marked for certain death and ruin would befall the land. Conchobar mac Nessa, the King, decided that she would become his wife when she became of age. He took her from her family and held her in seclusion at the home of Leabharcham, a wise old woman who raised her. Despite the best attempts of Leabharcham to influence Conchobar not to marry her, he was more determined than ever. However, prior to her wedding to Conchobar, Deirdre met a young warrior called Naoise..._ »

Snow-White kept on reading as Emma was listening with attention, her head now resting on her knees.

«_ Naoise and his brothers were killed by Éogan mac Durthachtand, and Deirdre was forced to marry Conchobar. __Then Deirdre said this lament: "Fair one, loved one, flower of beauty; beloved upright and strong; beloved noble and modest warrior. Fair one, blue-eyed, beloved of thy wife; lovely to me at the trysting-place came thy clear voice through the woods of Elanoriah*. I cannot eat or smile henceforth. Break not to-day, my heart: soon enough shall I lie within my grave. Strong are the waves of sorrow, but stronger is sorrow's self, Connachar." __She jumped into Naoise' grave and lay down by him, and she was dead by his side. __The king ordered the body to be raised from out the grave and to be buried on the other side of the loch. It was done as the king bade, and the pit closed. Thereupon a fir shoot grew out of the grave of Deirdre and a fir shoot from the grave of Naoise, and the two shoots united in a knot above the loch. The king ordered the shoots to be cut down, and this was done twice, until, at the third time, the wife whom the king had married caused him to stop this work of evil and his vengeance on the remains of the dead_. » The queen stared at the last lines of the tale for a few seconds, a sad smile lingering on her red lips.

The silence was broken by the little princess' failure to understand the story. « But, mother, why did Deirdre do that ? »

« Because she loved Naoise too much honey. She couldn't bear the thought of living without him. » her mother answered.

« But... what is love mother ? »

Snow-White took a deep breath. She knew that her little girl would not understand. How could she ? She was unable to feel anything, let alone _love._ « It's... it's a tender or passionate affection you feel towards another person. » she said.

« How does it feel like ? »

« It's like... getting lost into somebody else. You live for the person you love, you would do anything for them. It makes your life brighter, it makes you live everything more intensly. »

Emma looked up at her mother and bit her lower lip. She tried to understand the bond that linked Deirdre to Naoise, her mother to her father. But no matter how hard she tried, she could not imagine it. She felt like it was out of reach. She just hoped that Deirdre had found peace in death.

Because from what she had understood, love did more bad than good.

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**(1)** Walnut leaves, medieval custom : "_Pour se laver la tête, on conseille au XIIIe siècle le jus de bette pour éliminer les pellicules et les feuilles de noyer, ou de chêne, pour obtenir une belle chevelure_." Walnut or oak leaves helped having beautiful hair, and it also allowed them to dye it. See  . 

**(2)** The legend of Deirdre is very famous. But I didn't write her story here, I pasted it from this website : You can find both '_Naois_' and '_Naoise_', it depends on the version !

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**A/N : I hope you liked this second chapter ! Chapter 3 will be up on Saturday. Emma will be 8... and she'll meet someone. It'll be the last chapter about Emma's childhood. Then, she'll be 18. And fun (or shit ?) will start for real.**

**Love you all, and thanks again for reading ! Reviews are always appreciated :)**

** Mel : Merci beaucoup ! C'est super d'écrire en français, surtout qu'il y a très peu de CS fics dans cette langue... J'adorerais traduire celle-ci en français, mais ce serait un boulot ENORME ! Donc je verrai. Encore merci de ta review, c'est très encourageant :D**


	3. Imbolc

**A/N : As usual, thank you so much for giving this story a chance. I received a positive answer and I am super glad ! This chapter is the last about Emma's childhood.  
**

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**Chapter 3 : Imbolc**

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_3 years later_

_(Emma is 8)_

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_._

The realm of Elanoriah was slowly recovering from the harsh winter it had gone through. The ice of the mountains melted, the rivers grew wider, the weather was more gentle. It was Imbolc(1), marking the beginning of spring, the awakening of nature and the return of the sun. The festival would be celebrated on this February day all across the land. The people took care of it with a great enthusiasm : they prepared the bonfires and the feasts to come. Butter, bannock2 and milk were favored, and tables were being disposed in the great courtyard of Eurwen. Emma watched the preparations with curiosity, as she always did. Each festival of the Wheel of the Year(3) was important, for it announced the end of a season and the beginning of another. Her mother had told her about the cycles that control our lives : life and death, winter and spring, night and day. She would tell her that they were part of these cycles, and that the decisions they made were to be part of them too, that every choice had a consequence. The little princess listened to her with close attention, even though she was not sure to understand.

This year, Imbolc was special. The King and Queen had told their daughter they had an important announce to make, and that they would do so during the great feast. Emma was itching to know what it was about. It had to be considerable if they were planning on making it in front of their people.

« Princess, watch out ! » laughed a guard as Emma winded between the working servants.

The princess left the courtyard and headed to the gardens. She missed the mantle of snow, the cold and the peace of winter. She liked it when the nature was still and the trees were bare, when the animals hid and the birds kept quiet. She enjoyed the silence of the season of Bertha4. Her old nanny had told her that snow was caused by the latter shaking her feather bed. Often, the little girl sneaked out of the castle and wandered in the gardens, whispering prayers to the Goddess, asking her to shake her bed again. But obviously, the Goddess had better things to do now that Imbolc had arrived.

The gardens of Eurwen were covered with snowdrops that the King had had planted in honor of his wife. The Lake of Brighid surrounded the Castle. Three bridges led out of the enclosure of Eurwen : one to Niamh(5) Bay, the other to the Royal Road, and the last one to the Enchanted Forest. But Emma was forbidden to cross them alone, of course. What a pity. But she had found a way to comfort herself.

She rushed towars the old oak, _her_ old oak, near the third bridge. When she climbed it and sat on the highest branch, she could see beyond the horizon and contemplate the roof of leaves of the Enchanted Forest. She would go there once a week right before dawn, to see the sunrise. It was the most marvellous thing to see : all the land flooded by the ochre light of the rising sun, all the shadows disolving in its rays. She was the child of cold and snow, and yet, she felt complete when she was sitting there, hit by the warmth of the dawning sun. Maybe that was why she liked Imbolc so much. She was caught between winter and spring, cold and heat, night and day. She was not part of a cycle as her mom had told her about. She knew she was different. That something else was waiting for her, maybe in this mysterious forest. She just didn't know whether this something was good... _or not_.

She let her little hand caress the bark of the tree and she cast a glance to this part of the lake. The latter was very peculiar : it was invaded by swans. That's why, many centuries ago, it was named after the Goddess Brighid, whom the swan was the attribute. She was celebrated on Imbolc, as swans return from their winter migrations, and Emma could not help but think that, somehow, this festival was dedicated to her, or that she was dedicated to this festival, for her second name was _Elea_, which means 'swan'.

As she pondered on this, she heard a cry. She turned her head in the direction of the sound and ran towards it. On the bank of the lake stood a boy a little older than her. He was trying to catch a swan, but the poor animal was not that thrilled at the idea of this child laying his hand on its feathers.

« What are you doing ? » she asked, outraged.

The boy jumped with surprise and let go of the swan which took advantage of the situation and flew away.

« Swans are sacred, you think you can just go there and catch one ? »

« I... I didn't want to hurt it... » the boy stuttered.

Emma placed her hands on her hips. « You know that killing a swan brings bad luck right ? »

« I didn't want to kill it ! » This time, the boy was clearly on the brink of tears.

The princess rolled her eyes. _Boys are such babies_. « There, it's okay, I know you didn't want to harm it », Emma said in a soft voice - at least she wanted it to sound soft. « But what did you want to do with it anyway ? »

« I just... I like swans, they're pretty. I wanted to caress it. »

Emma cocked an eyebrow at him. « You're weird. »

The boy smiled. « I know. » He paused a few seconds. « My name's Baelfire, but you can call me Bae. »

The little girl raised her chin. « I'm Emma Elea of Eurwell », she let out with pride.

The boy's eyes widened, and Emma swore he was going to cry again. « You're... the princess ? »

« The one and only. »

« Aren't princesses supposed to curtsey when they introduce themselves or something ? »

« Aren't boys supposed _not _to cry ? »

Baelfire laughed. This little girl was a tough one. « So... Are you going to report my intrusion into the royal gardens ? » he asked.

« I'm not a snitch ! » Emma declared, a little vexed. « I don't mind you around. As long as you don't try to catch the swans... and stay away form the old oak over there. »

« Why that ? »

« It's _mine_. »

« You, royals, you think you own everything, » said the boy shaking his head.

Emma smirked. « You boys, you think you own us, girls », she said in an affected tone.

« What are you talking about ? »

« I don't know, I heard one of my servants say that to a stable boy. »

They both laughed. Suddenly, they heard the horn : it was time.

« Come ! » Emma said, « the feast is beginning ! »

« I can't » Baelfire answered looking to his feet.

« Why ? Everyone's invited ! »

« Yeah... Not my father. »

Emma didn't understand. She frowned and was about to answer him when a voice called out her name. « Ugh », she sighed, « it's Mary, my governess. I really have to go, my parents want to make a big announce. »

« I get it », Bae replied with a half-smile. « Go. But... If you want to... I could go back tomorrow ? We could play together ? I don't have many friends and hum... I like you. You seem strong. »

The princess bit her lip. She barely knew him. Maybe he was annoying. He did cry for nothing earlier after all. But... She could use a partner. « Okay. Meet me there tomorrow afternoon. But don't... »

«' _Approach the old oak_'. I won't, I promise. »

Emma smiled at him, and then ran towards the courtyard.

She didn't know then she had just met the son of the one who was responsible for the growing void in her chest.

* * *

The laughters and screams filled the air of this festive evening. Two long tables were disposed alongside, and at the end of it were the royal table, facing the crowd. Charming and Snow-White were already sitting there, her hand resting on the wooden surface and his covering it, his thumb caressing her silky skin. Emma wondered how it felt to share what they shared. She did not understand the look in their eyes, this special spark that glowed whenever they were looking at each other. The smile on their faces. This mask of stillness and peace they wore when they felt each other's presence. Tonight, as they celebrated Imbolc, their smiles were even bigger, the sparks even brighter. It had to have something to do with this big announce they had talked about earlier. The little princess made her way through the crowd of servants and finally reached their table.

« Oh there you are sweetheart ! » Snow-White exclaimed, extending her arms so as to hug her.

« Have a sit little elf », Charming said. « The feast is about to start. »

Emma nodded and sat. She scanned the gathering with curious eyes. She didn't know how many people were sitting there. She knew some of them : there were Queen Ella of Bróg(6) and her husband King Thomas, who ruled the Southern Kingdom of Tesni(7), and also King Midas who governed the Isle of Enfys(8). She recognized Marco of Eoghan(9) and his son, Pinocchio, and Jiminy Cricket who was with them. The rest of the crowd was composed of nobles coming from all the realm and beyond the seas, even the King of Oighear(10) had come from the Northern edges. Elanoriah was the most powerful kingdom of the four, and also the oldest. At the beginning of the times, a warrior princess had defeated the Ogres and brought peace, knowledge and love to a wild land. She was called _Orfhlaith(_11), the golden princess, for her hair was as golden as the summer sun. And she had built The Castle of Eurwen. This had happened thousands of years ago, and the castle had been rebuilt, but never did the power of Elanoriah dissolve. And ever since Snow-White and her Prince Charming were King and Queen, the festivals had always been successful, for all the other rulers loved them. Indeed, they governed in their own way : this night, just like all the other nights of celebrations, the tables also welcomed people of the _petite bourgeoisie_ and even peasants. The King Charming wanted to make sure that everyone was treated the same and that his people would stay united no matter what.

As Emma thought of this ancient warrior princess and wondered how she had found the strength fo fight such horrible creatures, the servants brought the bannock and the fruits(12) whilst the jugglers performed in the middle of the tables. The princess loved the jugglers, but the only thing she liked about banquets... was the dessert. And it would take a long time before they got there, she knew it._ Be strong_, she thought. _The sugar is coming soon_.

A couple of hours later, there it was : the dessert. Emma smelled a delicious scent of sugar and vanilla. The domestics brought custards, crêpes, darioles(13), fruits in Marzipan(14) and even sorbets. All these platters full of colors caused her to feel a little dizzy. She loved sugar far too much. Suddenly, Emma moved the tip of her little nose, intrigued.

« What are you smelling honey ? » asked Snow-White with a smile.

« I... I Think it's waffles. Mother, I love waffles ! »

« I know you do » the Queen answered, laughing. That's why I asked the baker to make some. I know it's not really what we're supposed to eat at Imbolc, but I knew you would be happy with this decision. »

A huge smile curled the little girl's lips, but suddenly, she frowned. « Has it something to do with the announce you're about to make ? Are you trying to blackmail me ? »

« Do you know what 'blackmail' means sweetheart ? » the king asked, amused.

« No », Emma answered with a pout. « But I know it's something shady. »

« Just enjoy the dessert my dear, and thank the baker for doing this special meal. »

Emma assented silently, but she was dying to know... What were they about to tell the _world_ ? She would know sooner than she thought, for her parents were now on their feet, ready to pronounce their speech. The crowd was now silent. Apparently, they were as curious as the little princess.

« Dear Kings and Queen, dear people », Charming said, « we've been happy to welcome you all at Eurwen once again, to celebrate the end of winter and the beginning of spring. We hope that Brighid is pleased by the offerings we made and that she'll watch over you all this year. But the Queen and I wanted to take advantage of this celebration to share a good news with you. »

He stopped speaking and looked at her wife, encouraging her to talk. « I have the pleasure to inform you all that i'm with child again, and that in 8 months, the Kingdom of Elanoriah will be offered a new heir. »

A thunder of applause welcomed this news, and the men threw their hats in the air in sign of joy. _This_ was the big announce. Emma was to have a little bother or sister in a few months.

« Are you happy sweetheart ? You're going to have someone to play with », her mother said to her.

But Emma was not happy, she was not... moved by this news. She even wondered why everyone was so excited.

« Yes » she answered lowly, her eyes locked on the nothingness. « I guess I am. »

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**There are loooads of notes, so I shall advise you to check my Tumblr, I'm going to post more infos and pictures about those (especially food). See this post : post/54685284688/im-about-to-publish-chapter-3-of- heartless (my tumblr is also_ snowanchester_)  
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(**1**) Imbolc : Celtic festival/sabbath http(:) wiki/Imbolc

(**2**) Bannock : Bread http(:) wiki/Bannock_%28food%29

(**3**) Wheel of the year : Pagan calendar. http(:) wiki/Wheel_of_the_Year

(**4**) Bertha or Perchta : her name means 'the bright one'. She's a germanic goddess linked to winter.

(**5**) Niamh : Means "_bright_" in Irish. She was the daughter of the sea god in Irish legends. Pronounced "Neev". I made this place up and you can see it on the map I made on Tumblr.

(**6**) Bróg : Means_ shoe_ in Irish Gaelic. Yeah I didn't dig that much.

(**7**) Tesni : Means "_warmth from the sun_" in Welsh.

(**8**) Enfys : Means "rainbow" in Welsh. Pronounced "EN-vis".

(**9**) Eoghan : Possibly means "_born from the yew tree_" in Irish, though it is possibly derived from the name "Eugene".

(**10**) Oighear : Means _ice_ in Irish Gaelic. I totally made up this King.

(**11**) Orfhlaith : Means "_golden princess_" from Irish _ór_ "gold" (the French word for gold is 'or' btw) combined with _flaith,_ "princess".

(**12**) I read somewhere that they ate fruits at the beginning of the meals.

(**13**) Darioles : wiki/Dariole

(**14**) Marzipan : Like almond paste. wiki/Marzipan

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**A/N : *evil laughter* SHE MET FUCKING NEAL YOU GUYS. No, it was not Killian, it was not Graham, it was little Bae. What do you think about this encounter ? Writing it was so much fun. He couldn't catch the swan._ Literally_. But don't worry, this is a CS fic. Bae will be there for a little while and... you'll see how Emma 'treats' him in the next chapter. And yes, waffles existed during the Middle Ages. But bear in mind that it's fairytale-ish, so the time period is not clearly defined, it's not hermetic. I'll mix a lot of influences. **

**Also, a cookie for the ones who saw the reference to _Anastasia_.**

**Thanks for reading :) Next update on Sunday, get ready for 18 year-old Emma !**

** Mel : C'est dommage, tu devrais les publier ! J'adorerais les lire. Je sais bien que c'est impressionant et stressant de publier, je comprends tout à fait, mais c'est aussi super grisant :) Et tu ne risques rien ! En tout cas merci de ta review :)**


	4. The sound of the violins

**A/N : This chapter makes me so nervous, because I guess you've all been waiting for Emma to grow up... And I really don't want to disappoint. Plus, I have to say that this chapter is my favorite one so far, I am very _proud_ of it. Writing it was amazing, it felt just right, and I hope you'll feel this too while reading it ! There's a song rec on my _tumblr_ (snowanchester,** post/54837706858/songs-rec-for-chapter-4-of-heartl ess-orfhlaith**) for the second part of this chapter, it'd be amazing if you listened to it while reading (if music doesn't bother you... It's up to you anyways). I hope you'll enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it !**

**_Alas, I am still not a native speaker and the punctuation is always a hybrid._ **

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**Chapter 4 : The sound of the violins**

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_10 years later_

_(Emma is 18)_

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The little princess was now a young and beautiful eighteen year-old lady. She had grown up, despite her reluctance, and so had the hole in her chest. With the race of the years, she had felt the void and tasted the meaningless. She had no proper will, she didn't desire anything with her soul. Only her body whispered to her the things it needed, the things it craved.

Many winters had passed by, many times she had wandered in the gardens of Eurwen, climbed the old oak and observed the roof of leaves of the Enchanted Forest, the shell-shaped clouds weighing upon its immensity. Snow-White and Charming had given her all the love they had in their hearts, and she had received the best education possible : she had been taught mathematics, gaelic, grammar, astronomy, biology, history, geography, theology and even swordfight and archery. Her parents wanted to keep her busy so that she would not notice the emptiness underneath her skin. But it provoked quite the contrary : the more books Emma read, the more she realized something was wrong with her. All these pages written about love, sacrifice, family, sorrow and happiness. All these legends telling the stories of heroes dying out of love, _for_ love. She remembered what her mother had told her this night, when she had read to her the tragic story of Deirdre : _It's like... getting lost into somebody else. You live for the person you love, you would do anything for them. It makes your life brighter, it makes you live everything more intensly._ That's what Emma read in those pages, but everytime she tried to understand this feeling, she failed and threw the book across her room out of frustration.

On this day of July, the air was dry and torrid... especially in the stables of Eurwen, from which moans and whispers escaped every now and then.

Among the heaps of straw floodlit by the gilded rays of the summer sun, Emma was lying there on her stomach. Her blond curls blended with the gold of the hay as the light shone down on her bare skin, lightening the small of her back and the curves of her thighs. She played with the wisps while a young man lying at her side was staring at her face.

« This is so _cliché_... » she finally said, the wisps still in her fingers.

« What ? » the man asked with a smile.

Emma let go of the wisps and gave him a suggestive look, one eyebrow more raised than the other. « Sex in the straw », she purred.

« Are you complaining ? » the man said, laughing.

« Never. »

He let his fingers run on her back, his hand walking along her spine. He felt the shivers on her silky skin and the desire growing inside of him. He could never have enough of the Princess of Eurwen, him, Baelfire, the son of the Dark One who had run away so many years ago and found refugee in this Castle. Never had he revealed his identity, especially not to Emma. He knew he would spend the rest of his life with her since the day she caught him in the gardens, trying to catch a swan. And finally, ten years later, here he was, caressing the royal plumage of the most beautiful swan of Elanoriah.

They had spent their childhood together, playing in the fields around the castle and bugging the guards. He was the only person she talked to, apart from Ruby. But one night, as they were lying down on the grass with only the stars as witnesses, their bodies had talked for them. He had intertwined his fingers with hers, and they had stared at each other for a few minutes in silence. Suddenly, a shooting star had cracked the velvet sky. In this moment frozen in time, Bae had known that he needed her, her body and her soul, the warmth of her skin and the dampness of her lips. So he had closed the space between them and had kissed her. It was Emma's and Bae's first kiss, their _first time_. They were sixteen and eighteen back then. And ever since, like two magnets, their bodies could not stay apart.

« I have to go you know », Emma said between two kisses.

« The sun is always up princess... » Bae answered, now turning her over gently and putting his body on top of hers.

« Not for long. »

And indeed, the gilded rays dancing on the heaps were slowly turning to a pink radiance, coloring the hay in a shading of orange. The light waned with grace and the growing shadows squeezed in the small of Emma's back. The sun would soon fall behind the windows of the stable, but for now, its last beams were hotter than ever, and their flash of gold rained down on the naked body of the princess of Eurwen.

« Come on, let go of me, I don't wanna be late », Emma said while putting Bae aside.

« You're the princess, you can afford it », Bae replied arching an eyebrow.

Emma was now on her feet and tried to put her undergarments on. She seemed quite used to the movements : she hastily grabbed the chemise laying on the straw and put it on before doing the same with the long white dress. The fabric was thin and vaporous, the sleeves were loose and as light as a feather, and a turquoise ribbon tightened the dress underneath the breasts. She kept her hair tidy and finally turned to Bae. « This ball is really important Bae », Emma sighed. « It's my father's birthday, all the kingdom will be here. »

« I hate being the stable boy », Bae mumbled. A pout appeared on his face. Once a baby, forever a baby.

« Do you ? » Emma whispered as she got closer to him. She brought her mouth near his ear. « Because there are some perks if you want my opinion. The straw is definitely really confortable and keeps the heat very well... »

« Stop that, you just put you dress on, it'd be a shame if I tore it up, _again_. »

Emma smirked and backed away. « That's _my_ stable boy », she murmured before turning her heels on the young man.

« You are heartless your majesty ! » she heard him laugh from afar.

_He had no idea._

* * *

The magnificent ballroom of Eurwen was filled with pastel and bright shadows, and the flounces of the dresses were flying on the wings of the rousing music. Laughters mingled with the sound of the violins and the stream of the beverages and the rattle of the cultery echoed in the air. It was a waltz of pearly necks and clean-shaved cheeks, where frivolity twirled around with joy. The radiance of the stars shone down on the assembly through the glass ceiling and blended with the flicker of the candelabras : it was as if a stream of gold and silver covered the precious fabrics and glowed on the masks. Panthers, peacocks, nightingales, crows and even flamingos were gathered here to celebrate the King's birthday. The inhabitants of Elanoriah were always _very_ creative when it came to masquerades.

Emma's slender and graceful silhouette was going down the great stairs with care, her hands firmly holding the tails of her dress. The latter looked like a changing sky, for all the shades of blue seemed to cover the elegant material. Two tails enshrouded a midnight blue velvet petticoat, and the white overskirt was scattered with purple and blue curls, and its edges were made of the finest lace. The low-cut neckline was white and blue and let show the pallor of her neck. As she got closer to the dance floor, silver moonbeams floodlit the tiny diamonds set here and there on the vaporous muslin, and the princess looked like a real constellation. Her silky golden hair was coiled in an open bun, and her curls fell down on her bare shoulders. White feathers were entwined in the locks and recalled her swan-like mask. She was only walking down the stairs, and yet, each step she took caused her to look like a majestic swan glistening on the water.

When she finally reached the end of the stairs, she took a deep breath. Everybody was already there : her mother, Snow-White, in her beautiful purple gown, had chosen a mask representing a dove and so had Charming. From all the kingdoms they had come, just like they had ten years ago for Imbolc. Emma was thus late, _as usual_. She definitely spent too much time in the stables, she knew it. The princess walked towards her mother and put down her mask. Her eyes were framed with blue and white feathers were drawn on her temples.

« Finally you're here ! » Snow-White sighed. « Where have you been ? The reception began _one hour_ ago Emma. » She arched an eyebrow as she mentioned the fact that she was an _hour _late.

« I'm so sorry mother », Emma answered with an awkward look. « I just... I was in the gardens and the sunrise was so beautiful tonight I couldn't leave. »

« Well, you have one sensitive daughter my Queen », teased King Midas.

Emma curtsied. « King Midas, it's a pleasure to see you. »

« The pleasure is mine princess, you make a beautiful swan. » The King bowed and disappeared in the crowd.

Emma turned to her father. « Happy Brithday father », she said with respect.

« Come here sweetheart » Charming replied taking her in his arms.

Emma always felt uncomfortable when her mother or her father showed so... _loving_. But she hugged him back and faked a smile so that he would think everything was fine with her. Everything was fine with her, wasn't it ? The night was warm and festive, the food was abundant and smelled delicious, the people seemed thrilled and overjoyed by this ball. So... Why did Emma feel so... _out of place_ ? The dresses where twirling around her, the music was loud and she felt like the notes were attacking her rather than enchanting her. Out of place. Dizzy. Uncomfortable. Why was she here already ?

« I could totally use a drink », she sighed while putting her mask on again.

« Shall I join you my lady ? »

She turned over and stumbled upon a gorgeous dark-haired man... or rather _wolf_. « It depends », Emma said with a cautious tone.

« On what if I may ask ? »

« On whether you'll keep your teeth away from my feathers or not. »

A large grin curled the man's lips. « Aye, that's such a lovely metaphor for _that_ your highness. » She heard him laugh.

« Who are you ? » she asked on the defensive.

« A wolf my lady, isn't my fur convincing enough ? »

Emma tilted her head to the side and rolled yer eyes. « Ha. Ha. Ha. You're certainly not a wolf, rather a monkey. »

« Because monkeys have gray hairs and yellow eyes ? Princess, I thought you were an educated woman. »

Emma scoffed and opened wide eyes. « Do the gentlemen talk to the royals like this in your kingdom ? » she inquired with defiance.

« And why would you think I'm not from here my lady ? »

« I would remember that smile », she said lowly and paused for a while. « And that lack of manners. »

« Oh I'm afraid you're wrong princess, for I _am_ a gentleman. »

« Excuse me sir, but I'm _afraid_ I fail to see it. »

For all answer, he extended his gloved hand and bowed a little. « Let me show you » he susurrated.

Emma hesitated for a few seconds, on her guards. This man was obviously _certain_ of his charm. He thought he was irresistible. Well, the truth is... He _was_. She had nothing better to do after all. She put her hand on his and his thumb caressed its back. He grinned and walked her to the center of the dance floor. They stood in front of each other, and Emma could not help but survey the ballroom.

« Shall we your highness ? » the man gently asked as he put a hand on her back and took hers in his other hand. « Or maybe are you waiting for someone else ? »

« Not at all. Let's get done with this. »

« Oh, I see, you like it fast », he noticed with a smirk too present for Emma's liking.

The princess rolled her eyes. « Aren't wolves supposed to keep quiet or something ? » she asked with annoyance.

The man cocked an eyebrow at her. « Aren't swans supposed to be graceful ? You're walking on my feet princess. »

« We haven't even started to dance », she scoffed.

« Well, it makes it worse then I guess » the man said, holding back a chuckling.

« Just... dance. »

The sound of the violins grew louder, and after a quick wink, the man introduced the dance. Emma could not help but dive into his eyes, as blue as forget-me-nots, as blue as the sea... she _guessed_. Never had she seen this neverending stretch of salted water, and yet, she was sure it looked like the twinkling pupils her eyes were set upon. With every move she inhaled his scent, a mix of woody and marine fragrances, maybe peppermint. The rustling of her dress against his leather breeches, the sound of her shoes tinkling on the floor blended with the melody, and she felt like a leaf carried away by the wind, unable to control her paces or the blood pounding in her veins. She felt like a doll in the powerful man's hands, a mere puppet obeying the strings of the harmony floating in the confined air of the ballroom. Her eyes lingered on his fleshy lips, half-open, and she felt his gaze fastened upon her face, his hand tightening its grasp on her waist and going down her back... _Too down_.

« It's a waltz, not some sort of courtship display », she managed to say as he pressed his body against hers in a twirl.

« Oh is it ? My... _wolf_ senses convinced me otherwise... »

« My _swan_ senses order me to fly away from you while I still can », Emma replied with a sudden cold tone. « And yet... »

« And yet you don't want this dance to end, do you ? » he whispered in her hear.

Emma was about to give him a biting reply when the music stopped and the dancers froze. There it was, the moment when all the masks were to drop. The symbolic pact of trust between all the guests, which meant : _see, I am me, you are you, it's all fine, let's dance together._ The man loosened his grip and stepped backward. All around them, the masks were thrown in the air or dropped on the floor, and a sea of colors and feathers burst into the candlelit room. Emma put down her mask and stared at her annoying partner.

« Aye, time to drop the mask isn't it ? » he said with a pout.

« How perceptive of you », Emma replied in a smile. « Who are you Sir _I-tend-to-let-my-hand-slip-quite-easily-towards-th e-butt-of-my-dance-partners_ ? »

She was genuinely intrigued, and even more curious, as the arched line of her eyebrows showed.

« I thought I had already introduced myself princess », he answered with a new twinkle in the eyes. He bowed and spread both arms, his look still fastened upon Emma's confused face. « I am a lone wolf. »

Whereupon, he stood up straight and turned his heels on his partner. She didn't know why she was so eager to discover the wolf's name. She didn't care, but, just like when she was with Bae in the stables, her body seemed to be unrelentingly attracted to his.

Then, in the midst of the uproar she stood, mesmerized, while the beat of the man's heart died away in the rousing sound of the violins.

* * *

**A/N : *_is anxiously waiting for your reactions_* So...? I guess you didn't think Emma would 'bump uglies' in the stables with _Fucking_ Bae right ? (oh what a lame pun...). But fear not, I don't ship ST. There's a reason for everything. **

**And yes, the infuriating lone wolf IS Killian Jones. THEY FINALLY MET. **

**Also, I chose to link the wolf to Killian because of reasons (I am so hilarious). I know you surely expected Graham to show up as I said the wolves were foreshadowing, but I chose the wolf because it's a symbol of both the lonely AND the social. Wolves are linked to the night, a lonesome period when you're alone to face yourself (dreams). But these animals _mate for life_. Plus, the wolf is one of the most misunderstood animals, just like our baby Killy. So I thought it'd be a good spirit animal for him. I hesitated with the fox, but the wolf was more... handy. Keep this animal in mind, you'll meet it again... It's very significant...**

**Next update on Wednesday ! Love you all, thanks for reading :) And feel free to review...**

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** Mel : Moi aussi j'adore les légendes celtes et germaniques ! En gros, toutes les légendes de l'Europe du Nord. J'ai fait pas mal de recherches sur internet, on trouve vraiment de tout, mais il y a un tas de livres que j'aimerais acheter ! Et_ Anastasia_ fait partie de mes dessins animés préférés. Anya me fait également beaucoup penser à Emma :) Merci de ta review, encore une fois !**


	5. The oak of discord

**A/N : I'm glad that you all liked the previous chapter :D I really enjoyed writing it, and I'd love to see Emma and Killian dance together... Now, about this chapter : longer than usual. Also, shit is about to go down. Poor Bae. Poor parents. Poor sister. And poor Emma.**

_**Nope. Still not a native speaker.**_

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**Chapter 5 : The oak of discord **(1)

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_5 years later_

_(Emma is 23)_

_._

_._

Many balls had taken place in Eurwen, and Emma's ears had been filled with many melodies and her waist embraced by many young men. Bae still had her favors though. She got used to the heat of his body and his scent mingling with the smell of the straw. She didn't want anyone to know, because she knew he was not a suitable match. She was already 23, and very surprised that her parents had not tried to marry her to some prince yet. _We don't want you to marry someone you don't love _her mother had told her once. Great. But... Emma still had no idea what love was. She had given up her quest many years ago, she had dropped the books and the lyrics, the poems and the plays. She did not manage to understand what Deirdre felt for Naoise. She only knew that lying next to Bae and letting her body give up to the delights of the flesh felt good. She had accepted the inertia of what the bards called 'love', and the fact that she was not to feel it. All she craved was freedom and euphoria, dizziness and restlessness. The walls of the castle and of her condition kept her from the immensity of the world, but when she was with Bae in the stables she felt like she was far, far, far away from the rules and the protocole... She was Emma. Not Princess Emma Elea of Eurwen. Only _Emma_. The freedom-lover. The _woman_.

Lughnasadh (2) was not far, and the rays of the sun fell heavily on the meadows and fields. The peasants ripped the corn, the privileged stayed hidden in the fresh shelters of their castles of stone. But Emma, despite her condition and the supplications of the old Mary, decided to sneak out of her room at the hottest hour of the day.

« Princess, your complexion... » said Mary with despair, « you just can't expose your skin to the sun like this, you'll look like - »

« A peasant », Emma continued, « I know. _Peasants are suntanned, royals are 'moontanned'_. I know the saying Mary. »

« Then why going out when everyone would rather be at your place ? »

« Because I'm _not_ everyone ».

She winked, and left her old nanny mumbling behind her. She took her notebook, the one her father had offered her for her eighteenth birthday, and headed to the gardens. She wanted to see the Enchanted Forest and continue her drawings. And this hour was perfect, for the sun was still high enough in the sky to flood the lanscape with its light but descending enough to create beautiful shadows and shades.

She wedged the notebook in her waist belt and started to climb the old oak, her oldest friend. Her hands clutched on the coarse trunk and she could inhale the vigorating scent of the moss. She had been repeating the exact same movements each day of her short life, but from all the things she had done endlessly, it was the only one that felt right. Climbing this good old tree and sitting on the highest bough, remaining still for a couple of hours, the eyes fastened upon the branches of the ancient trees of the forest she could only dream of. She did not know what was hiding underneath this sea of leaves. All she could see was the dance of the sun rays on the top of the fir trees and the cool shadows winding through this evergreen and forever mysterious stretch. When she was up there, with no one to bother her but the west winds playing with her hair, she felt free. She had always wanted more, more than the balls and the stories she was told. The legends were nice. But she wanted to create her own. And when she was on top of the world, alone in this oak tree, she imagined the life she would've liked to live. She chose who she wanted to be, what she wanted to do. And no one could ever take this away from her.

As she reached the top of the tree, she noticed something wrong : a bough she never clutched to was cracked. She immediately froze and looked closely to the top. A shadow was moving up there. A _human_ shadow. She kept climbing and progressively managed to make out the silhouette of a man. This scent... This heat...

« Bae ? » she exclaimed with surprise.

The young man turned his head to the sound of her voice. « Emma », he said in a smile, « I thought you'd never came. »

The princess opened her mouth to say something, but the words just didn't come. She sat next to him.« What are you doing here ? » she coldly asked.

« I wanted to talk to you. »

Emma scoffed. « So you climbed _this_ tree ? You've got to be kidding me ! »

The young man frowned, the line of his eyebrows clearly expressing his growing annoyance. « Oh now what ? This tree is still off limits for me ? Come on Emma, you're not a little girl anymore. You don't fucking own this tree ! »

« I don't _fucking_ want you up there, end of the discussion ! It's _my_ place, _my_ safe heaven ! »

« I love you Emma ! » Bae shouted.

The young girl froze at the sound of these words. « What the hell is wrong with you ? » she hissed.

Bae shook his head and bit his lip. He started to laugh like a maniac, rubbing his forehead with his left hand. « What the hell is wrong with _me_ ? Seriously Emma ? I just told you that I loved you and that's all you have to answer ? »

« What do you want me to say Bae ? That I love you back ? Well, I don't. I've never loved you, and I never will. You fuck me well and that's the only reason why I've joined you in the stables for so many years. But I feel _nothing_ for you. Clear enough or you need me to draw you a picture ? »

The young man was mesmerized. He sighed and his warm hazel look turned to ice. « You are nothing but a heartless monster, princess », he said lowly. « And I pity the one you'll let in, if you ever let someone in this cold world of yours. »

With these last words he groped his way down the tree, leaving the princess with her own demons : her lack of concern. These biting words had not even caused her to blink.

For what could possibly hurt a heartless princess ?

* * *

About four months later, Bertha (3) decided to shake her feather bed over the kingdom of Elanoriah, recovering the land with an immaculate whiteness. At least, that's what Emma wanted to believe. She remembered the stories the old Mary told her when she was a child, she remembered how good she felt when winter came. And there it was, causing the good people of the realm to take shelter in their houses near the hearth while the princess liked nothing more than taking a stroll in the white gardens, her notebook in hands. She inhaled the purity of the air that burnt her nostrils and cheeks, she was blinded by the reverberation of the sun filtering through the mist on this stainless mantel.

She leant against the trunk of the oak and closed her eyes. Alone in the white, she felt strangely safe, sheltered. She felt like she belonged to the lonely winter, the season of silence and stillness. « But why... » she whispered, her eyes still closed. « My mother, my father, they're the warmest people I've ever known. How can I be the daughter of winter when they're the avatars of summer ? »

Suddenly, she heard a crunch on the snow. She startled and her eyes shot opened. A masculine silhouette cut through the white luminosity of the gardens.

« Bae- », Emma sighed.

« Emma, I... I miss you », the young man said coming closer to her. « It's been three months, and... I can't- »

« I know », the princess said, shaking her head. « You can't live without me. Bae, we've spent more than ten years together, and seven years closer than we should have. Of course you miss me. And I should miss you two. But here's the thing : I _don't_. Bae I do _not_ miss you. I don't crave for your presence. I don't feel any... lack. _I don't care_. » She paused and peered into his eyes. She saw desperation, suffering, sorrow : what she _should_ feel. She didn't feel an ounce of sympathy for him. Should he fall to his knees and beg her for one more afternoon by her side, she wouldn't be moved, she wouldn't give in. « You were right », she continued after a few minutes of silence. « When you said I am a heartless monster. Bae I... I literally feel _nothing_ for you. And I'm not sorry, I don't feel bad for you. I just... I-»

«_ You don't care_ », Bae finished for her. He looked so cold in this white universe. Cold and... resigned. As if all she had just said to him was already what he thought. « You know, when we met on this February day, fifteen years ago, I noticed this strength in your eyes. This determination. That's why I wanted to be your friend so bad. Because you were strong and cold while I was all emotions. I wanted _you_ to be my strength. I didn't know back then that you would become my weakness. » He took another step towards Emma and cupped her face in his hands. « But this strength I saw Emma, it's not bravery or determination. It's... the void. The nothingness. That's what I see in your eyes... What I've always seen. You're the void. »

He was so close she could hear the beating of his heart. She could see the storm rising in his eyes. She _knew_ that what he was saying to her was meant to hurt. She _knew_ she was supposed to feel sadness, ache, something. And yet, she felt nothing. She just agreed. She _was_ the void. « Do you mean... » she managed to say, « do you mean that something's wrong with me ? »

« I didn't... »

« Bae, I've known you for fifteen years. You gave me _that_ look. You came to me to tell me the plain, unvarnished truth. Don't spare me now. What do you think ? »

He opened his mouth and then turned his back and started to leave. Then, all of a sudden, he stopped. Without look at her, he said : « I think that this void of yours can be filled. And if it can be filled, it means it was full in the first place. »

She narrowed her eyes and watched him disappear as he came, in the growing mist of this winter afternoon. The void... A _hole_. She felt nothing. She remembered her talk with her nanny, so many years ago, when she had asked her why she was « so mean ». _Just know that Evil exists, and you are not cast in the same mould as this wolf of yore, I promise_, she had told her. Now she understood why she had killed those butterflies, why she hadn't cried when her faithful dog had died. She was not evil. She didn't care because, in a way, she _couldn't_. But... _Why_ ?

She gathered her wits and headed to the castle with haste. Two people could answer her questions. The two people that knew her better than most. She stormed into her parents' room, snowflakes detaching from her cloak and falling on the floor like icy feathers. « What's wrong with me ? » she thundered.

Snow-White and Charming were both sitting on their bed, the old fairytale book laid on the Queen's lap. « Emma what- » Snow said incredulously.

« Why can't I feel anything, mother ? »

Her parents looked astonished. They looked at each other in panick, but also resignation. They knew this day would come. They just hoped it wouldn't.

« I understand now », Emma continued as two pairs of wide-open eyes were fastened upon her face. « There are so many things that become clear. Like why I never understood the stories you told me about love and feelings. True love that united Deirdre to Naoise, _your_ true love. How could I possibly understand something I cannot feel uh ? »

« Emma, sweetheart, please, sit » Charming said.

Emma sighed and did so, reluctantly. She sat between her parents and waited for the explanation they owed her.

« You're right », Snow-White began. « I told you these stories because I wanted you to know that this feeling could exist. I wanted you to grow up surrounded by love so that you would not... give in to darkness. But the truth is, I wanted you to understand this so hard that I pushed you to question it. You can't feel anything because... » Snow-White took her hand and caressed it smoothly. She knew that her words were going to change their lives forever. Twenty three years of lies were about to end, and she couldn't shake this ominous feeling which threatened to overwhelm her. « You don't have a heart Emma », she finally let out in a low voice.

Emma frowned and looked alternatively at her mother and father. At first, she laughed. But seeing the seriousness in her parents' eyes... « What ? » she said, incredulous. « But how... how can I live without a heart ? I mean, how is my blood running through my veins, how- »

« A spell », Charming added. « A spell that put a fake heart into your chest. A heart that allows your system to work... »

« But which doesn't provide you any emotion », his wife continued.

« But... why ? » Emma inquired while getting up.

Snow-White took a deep breath and got up as well. « A prophecy said that on the sunniest day of October, a baby would come to this world. But by her 24th birthday, her heart would be stolen from her, bringing chaos to the kingdom of Elanoriah and all the land we know. »

The princess rubbed her forehead. « _A sunny day of October_ ? So you just _guessed _that this day would be the day of_ my_ birth ? And you took my heart off my chest so that nobody could take it ? How sick is that ! »

« Rumpelstiltskin was very clear about this, he _knew_ it'd be you because- »

« _Rumpelstiltskin _? » Emma hissed. « You've got to be kidding me. Isn't he like the most evil being of all the realm ? And you entrusted him to take care of my life, my _heart _? »

« We _had to_ Emma », Charming replied. « Your life was on the line, and so was the sake of our kingdom, we could not risk it ! »

« You doomed me to a life of void, father. And you thought you could just keep that from me ? »

« We love you Emma » Snow stammered, cupping her daughter's face in her shaking hands, tears rolling down her cheeks. « We both love you so much. You were just a one hour old baby, we couldn't stand the thought of losing you... Please, forgive us. All we did, we did out of love. »

Emma remained silent for a while, observing the persons that had brought her to this world. The persons she should care about the most.

The truth was hideous.

« I don't love you » Emma casually stated. « I _don't care_. How could I ever forgive you ? »

Snow covered her mouth with a trembling hand as Charming wrapped her with his arms. Their stone-faced daughter's words slapped them. Snow wished she could say something more, or just cuddle her and rock her as she did when she was a little girl, but she knew it was too late.

She knew they just had lost their daughter.

Emma rushed out of the room and headed to hers. Once there, she leant against the window and cast a glance upon the far off Enchanted Forest. Lies, lies, lies and love. Every single time she heard about this so-called most beautiful feeling of them all, it always came with sorrow and corruption and lies and darkness. She didn't even want to feel it. She just wanted to taste freedom, and feel the beauty of the universe. She just wanted to feel alive. That's why she had agreed to spend time with Bae, to roll in the straw with him. These were the only times when she _felt_, even though it was purely physical. But now, even this was out of the question.

She felt like her whole world disappeared into a destroying black hole, every piece of her existence twirling into a meaningless smoke.

« Emma, are you okay ? »

The princess turned her head and saw her little sister, who was now fifteen. « Kalyana (4), I'm not in the mood », Emma replied, tired.

« You're _never_ in the mood sis' » Kalyana said, rolling her eyes and jumping on her sister's bed.

« Just go away » Emma scowled. « I want to be alone. »

« Nope. You're too much on your own, it's not healthy. »

« Fine », Emma growled. She left the stone wall and opened the walnut wardrobe. She hastily gathered some clothes and a compass and took a large purse.

Kalyana looked at her with perplexity. « What are you doing ? » she inquired.

« None of your business » Emma retorted.

« Are you planning on running away in the snow ? Emma come on. »

Emma didn't listen to her. She grabbed her bow and her quiver and threw them on her bed. Her eyes lingered on the small music box laid on her bedside table. The one her mother had given her when she was eight. She took it.

« Why are you taking mother's gift with you ? » Kalyana asked.

« It's a valuable object, I could sell it a good price if I'm in need of money. »

«_ What_ ? »

Her sister was now panicked. She had realized that Emma not only was insane _but _determined to get away. The latter didn't pay any attention to her and started to took off her dress.

« Emma what the hell ? »

The latter shrugged. « What ? It's nothing you never saw, is it ? And if you don't wanna see that you can just get away from my bedroom. »

« You won't get rid of me that easily. »

Emma rolled her eyes and put on her archery dress : an amaranthine linen dress with a suede corset. Then she put on her gray winter coat and grabbed her purse and bow.

« No seriously Emma what are you doing ? »

« I'm leaving Kaly. Now get off my way. »

Her sister folded her arms across her chest. « Do you really think I'm gonna let you run away ? Our parents will be devastated Emma, how can you do that to them ? »

« You have no clue what they did to me, do you ? » Emma asked.

« What they _did to you _? They_ love _you Ems. As far as I can remember you've always been treated like the most precious thing in the all the realm. »

« Get. Off. my. Way. » Emma hissed, glaring angrily at her sister.

« I won't let you go. »

« Kaly you'd better step aside, now. »

« Or what ? »

Emma fished something into her purse. « As you wish » she muttered.

A sharp rustle of fabric, a muffled cry, the blood flowing down Kalyana's dress and staining Emma's hand.

« I'm not sorry Kaly » Emma whispered while putting the dagger back into its case. She passed her without a blink, while Kalyana looked at her with astounded eyes, covering her wound with her hands. She had hit her at the side, and she felt the ache spreading into all her body. Emma was already far away in the hall shen she heard the deaf sound of a body crashing down on the floor. She began to run, holding frimly her purse and the bow.

« NO ! Emma ! » she heard her mother yell. She knew they would send the guards after her very soon. She didn't know whether she had killed her sister or not. All she knew is that she didn't even hesistate before hitting her, diving the blade into her flesh.

She rushed to the stables and took her black mare, Nanna (5), praying for the guards not to close the gates. With all her might, she spurred it and raced towards the exit of the castle. The guards were already gathered and chased her down. They didn't want to harm her, and the captains have known her forever. She knew she had the advantage. The gates were dangerously closing, but Emma didn't hesitate. « _Bua_ (6) » she whispered. The mare seemed to understand, for it speeded up immediately.

« Stop her ! » she heard a guard shout. But it was too late. She had made it, she was now on the bridge, the border of the Enchanted Forest right in front of her. A few meters and she would be in the Forest.

The snow was melting on her cheeks and every breath she took burnt her throat.

But this ride had another taste, something she had long waited to feel : the taste of freedom.

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(**1**) The oak of discord : Inspired by the golden apple of discord in the Greek mythology, which led to the Trojan war.

(**2**) Lughnasadh : Pagan sabbat celebrated on August.

(**3**) Bertha : Basically, she's the Germanic goddess of winter. See chapter 3.

(**4**) Kalyana : Means "beautiful, lovely, auspicious" in Sanskrit.

(**5**) Nanna : Possibly derived from Old Norse nanþ- meaning "daring, brave".

(**6**) Bua : irish Gaelic for 'victory'.

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**A/N : So, Emma stabbed her sister and hurt her parents and Bae and she's on the run. Thoughts ? Reviews are always appreciated :)  
**

**Now, time for her to meet again with a certain pirate Captain don't ya think ? *winks***

**Next update on Friday, thanks for reading !**

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Mel : On a vu la petite soeur d'Emma... Ca on va pas le nier XD


	6. The Wolves

**A/N : This chapter's MUCH longer than usual... 4,138 words. Yup. I wanted to split it into two parts but it wouldn't make any sense, this chapter HAS to be in one part. You'll see why with the last words.**

**And... guess who's back ? (Eminem's _Without Me_ playing in the background because I have no choice when I used this line).**

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**Chapter 6 : The wolves**

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Emma was now in the forest, surrounded by darkness. She had no idea what time it was, night had to be close, but she couldn't have known : the thick clumps formed a roof above her head, a canopy of foliage, and the trunks of the fir-trees looked like black shadows standing in the everwhite. The snow fell faster and the snowflakes grew bigger. She felt the icy wind seep into her hood and bite her neck and ears. She slowed down a little, out of breath, and looked over her shoulder. She didn't hear anything but the sinister wailing of the wind, each time more biting, more penetrating. She wondered why the guards were not on her heels. Maybe because of the weather... A blizzard had to be on its way, nothing else could have stopped them. « Great », she mumbled. She looked all around her : no cave, no cottage, no shelter. And she knew she needed one. The snowstorms of Elanoriah had their reputation, and it was not propitious. She lowered her head and noticed the tracks of hooves in the snow. Her horse's hooves. _I hope the storm will cover them soon enough_, she thought. _But once it's over, I'll have to get rid of Nanna. I can't leave any track behind_. With a sigh, she caressed the withers of her mare. The race of the snowflakes speeded up as the wind became more powerful. She was running out of time. And she had no idea what to do.

Suddenly, she heard it : the ominous howling breaking through the sound of the wind. The threatening tooting rising in the cold air. The crack of bough. The crunching of the snow. And at last, two yellow eyes gleaming in the dark. _A wolf_.

« Not today buddy », she snarled, preparing her bow. But other howlings echoed in the air, and soon, five other pairs of eyes emerged. She was surrounded by _six wolves_. And they didn't seem quite friendly. « Great. Fucking amazing. »

She remained still, the arrow ready to be shot. She was not a fool. She knew that these wolves were starving and that she had to smell delicious. She saw the beasts getting closer to her, slowly, very slowly, their eyes set upon her with greed. All of a sudden, letting out a last snort, the first wolf leaped on its prey, followed by the rest of its pack. Emma shot him and the arrow sank into its flesh. But the other wolves had already started to take care of the mare, biting its legs. « Nanna, hold on, please ! » Emma shouted. If her mare fell down she wouldn't stand a chance in front of the beasts. She hit the wolves, weeping them away with her bow but they came back straight away, their bloody-drenched muzzles always hungry for more. The mare let out a cry and collapsed as the blade-like teeth ripped its flesh apart.

« Nanna ! » Emma yelled. Her head hit the ground as the horse lay down in the snow, gasping, the wolves shreding her limbs and the scraps of flesh hanging from their muzzles. The mare gave out a moan and her eyes met Emma's. The princess understood. She took her bow and without any hesitation, she shot the mare in the head, putting her out of her misery.

The white ground was stained with red, and the growls of the wolves mingled with the hissing wind. Emma tried to get up, but the ache stopped her : a cramp. She let out a groan, louder than she thought for the wolves turned their heads in her direction. She took a deep breath and dragged herself about until her back reached a three. She curled up and took her dagger, well aware that it wouldn't be enough. After a few minutes of intimidation, a wolf jumped on her and she stabbed him in the heart, but she didn't see the second's jaw closing on her left hand. She cried of pain, the sharpen teeth piercing her hand always deeper. She tried to stab it, but another one bit her sleeve, keeping her from moving. That was not what was supposed to happen. She was not supposed to die in the snow, eaten up by wolves. She felt the pain running underneath her skin, and her whole body hurt. Warm tears filled her eyes and stang her cheeks. Her nanny's words echoed in her head. _He looked at me with his yellow eyes... I saw death in them. Mine_. Now she understood what she meant back then.

She was about to pass out when a sharp yelping caught her attention. She saw four shadows moving about in the darkness. One of them rushed towards her. « Back off, wolf ! » she heard the shadow shout. What unfolded happened quickly. She heard five other yelpings and felt a heavy load falling on her chest : the wolf's body.

« Are you alright ? » she heard the shadow say.

She raised her head, blinked a little, and made out a tall man. All she could see was his blue eyes glowing in the falling night. The blizzard heightened and she was freezing, her whole body shaking. The only heat came from her wound. Ache and cold, dizziness and shivers, that was how freedom tasted. The man kneeled by her side, took her hand and removed her glove.

« That's a pretty bad wound, love » he stated.

« Who are you ? » Emma asked, too weak to take her hand out from his warmth.

« Oh I see, that's how you thank the man who just saved you from ending up in mincemeat », the man answered with a grin.

Emma rolled her eyes and sighed. « Thank you. Now who the hell are you ? »

The man shook his head and showed her his left hand... shiny and pointy. « My name's Killian Jones, but people have taken to call me by my most colorful moniker- »

« Captain ! » a man screamed. « We'd better go, the blizzard is intensifying ! »

The « Captain » sighed with annoyance.

« I'm afraid your buddy ruined your introduction, _Captain_ » Emma said lowly, the ache in her hand growing.

« My 'buddy' will pay for that, love. I'm Hook. Now come on, we've got to get out of this bloody forest. »

« I'm not going anywhere ! » Emma protested. « I escaped in order to get here, it took me twenty three years, I'm not leaving ! »

Hook arched an eyebrow. « Did you fall on your head darling ? »

« Kind of », Emma replied with a pout.

« Look, this hand needs to be taken care of », Hook said caressing its back with his thumb. « But if you want to end up in an ice floe, I can leave you here in the snow. It'd be a shame though. »

She just met him, and yet, Emma already 'hated' this annoying Killian Jones. Thwarting her plans, _already_. But he did save her. And as she already knew, she needed a shelter. « Fine », she sighed while trying to get up but miserably failing, ending up in the Captain's arms.

« It's about bloody time », the latter grinned. Ignoring her protests, he lifted her up and took her in his arms. She automatically placed her hands around his neck, and Hook's grin widened. « I've never seen a woman so eager to be abducted », he said.

« What ? » Emma screamed. « Put me down you bastard ! »

« Oh, princess, what is this ugly language ? Doesn't suit you. » He clearly _mocked _her.

« How do you know- »

« That you're a princess ? Come on, your fancy cloak, the gloves... Plus I've already seen you, Emma Elea of Elanoriah. »

« And may I know when and where ? » Emma sighed.

Hook gave her his most soft look and fluttered eyelashes. « Once upon a dream », he whispered. Emma rolled her eyes. After all, the wolves weren't that bad. He walked towards his horse and sat her on its back, placing himself behind her.

« You're not tying me up ? » Emma asked with surprise.

« Oh, already up to try some attachments ? » Hook purred.

« For the love of the Gods, cut off the innuendoes.»

« Might as well ask me to stop breathing. »

Emma grinned. « Now that would be an amazing idea. »

Hook shook his head and grabbed the reins. He looked at his men and nodded : they immediately spurred their horses. The blizzard made it difficult for the animals to move forward. The wind whipped Emma's face and she turned away. She was trembling, and the blood on her hand was still fresh.

« Put this on your wound », Hook said giving her his scarf.

« Thanks », Emma answered with a flat tone.

« You're freezing », he stated. « Your cloak looks pretty warm though. »

« A princess' cloak is not made to survive a _blizzard_ », Emma responded with a rictus.

« Here », Hook said, opening his own furcoat and wrapping her with it. « Close this before you. The heat of my body and the thickness of the coat should do. »

There was not the slightest hint of innduendo in his voice. And he was right : the heat of his body was already warming her up and stopped the shaking. « How do you know I'm not going to make you fall over your horse in order to escape ? » she asked, curious and intrigued.

« You're too smart for that. You wouldn't survive two hours in this blizzard. »

Emma frowned. _Point taken_, she thought. Why had he an answer for everything ? She tightened the coat across her chest and leant against Hook's body. She owed him her life... and her captivity. She escaped the castle to end up being abducted by an infamous pirate. And the truth was, she didn't even want to run away. Maybe this was what she had been craving for for her whole life. Adventure. Maybe _this_ was freedom. Fighting wolves, riding with Captain Handsome... She had to admit it, the guy was pretty hot. _By all means_.

* * *

Half an hour later, they saw a twirl of smoke rising between the snowflakes. _An inn_. A fire. Food. Emma drooled over at the thought of waffles covered with maple syrup. Hook waved his hand and ordered his men to head to the inn. Once there, they rode down their horses, and Hook offered his arms to the princess, who refused.

« I'm not a damsel in distress », she said, raising her chin.

« As you wish, _princess_ », Hook replied with a sigh. « But I did save you from the big bad wolves. »

« Something tells me that you might be far more dangerous than them, Captain ».

« _Touché_. But fear not, as long as you do as I say, I won't rip your organs out with my hook. »

« That's really comforting, thank you. » Emma scowled.

« Now shall we get in or you'd rather sleep in the stables ? »

Emma sighed. She had a feeling that this man would be her undoing. She _felt_ it.

The atmosphere was warm and Emma could hear the fire crackle and see the flames flicker on the walls. The inn was empty. Empty chairs, empty tables, supposedly empty rooms for it was still early in the night.

« Where is everyone ? » Emma asked.

« Oh, that », Hook answered indifferently. « I may have ordered them to leave. »

« Ordered them...? You mean you _killed _them. »

The pirate got closer to her. « Actually no », he whispered. « I frightened them and told them to leave because you are quite an important figure, and I could not risk anyone to see you. They would've warned the authorities right away. Now follow me, you must be hungry. I don't want to damage my valuable merchandise. And I have to take care of your hand. »

Emma followed him, the thought of some food making her stomach hurt (and the 'merchandise' thing making her want to punch him). She sat at the kitchen's table which was covered with food, took a loaf of bread and bit in it with all her might. She watched Hook pouring some milk in a pot and putting it in the fire as she ate. Then, he fished something into a purse : it was a brown and hard square that Emma had never seen before. Hook cracked it and put the chunks in the boiling milk. He sensed Emma's worried look on him.

« Don't worry princess, I'm not drugging you » he said in a smile.

« Do you expect me to trust you, _pirate_ ? »

Hook froze and looked at her. « How do you know- »

« That you're a pirate ? Come on, the guys call you Captain, you're wearing earrings to pay for your funeral and keep your balance on your ship. Yeah, I've read a lot. »

« Well well well, aren't you full of surprises. »

Emma 's lips curled as he poured the strange mixture in two bowls. « Drink », he said to her. « I swear you won't be disappointed. »

The princess took the bowl and frowned. She looked at the pirate and then gazed at the brown milk. She smelled the spicy scent that exhaled from the delicate smoke. Hook shook his head with impatience and started to drink, maybe to show her that it was harmless. Emma observed him, waiting to see his reaction. All she could see was a huge grin of delight framed by a brown stain that he licked straight away. Intrigued and starving, she raised the bowl to her lips with caution. The warm liquid flew down her throat and its smell invaded her nostrils. She closed her eyes for a while, totally captivated by the taste of this marvel. When she opened them again, her bowl was empty and Hook was looking at her as if she were a child.

« Are you sure this isn't a drug ? » Emma asked, already craving for more.

« Aye, not officially at least. » Hook grinned.

« What is this ? »

« It's called chocolate. It's no wonder you don't know it, it's very difficult to find it in Draiochtland (1). »

Emma put down her bowl and a an incredulous look appeared on her face. « What do you mean _in Draiochtland _? Where... Where did you find this ? » she inquired.

Hook's face became grave. « Spain, 1585 (2). » he said after a while, waiting for her reaction.

« Spain ? 1585 ? Stop messing with me. »

« I'm not princess. »

Emma put her elbows on the table and leant a little, staring at the pirate with concentration. « No you're not » she finally said. « But... I don't understand, is 1528 a year ? We're only in 900 here, our calendary began with the reign of Orfhlaith and the construction of the Four Kingdoms. »

« Indeed love. _In this world_. » He bent a little over the table too, until his face was only a few inches from Emma's. « I'm going to tell you a little secret. This, your beloved Draiochtland, is far from being the only world. I'm not only a pirate. I'm a Traveller. »

The princess frowned a little more. She knew he was telling her the truth. But this truth was totally far-fetched. It overcame all she knew, all she had been taught. « A Traveller ? I heard about them... The rumor has it that the Travellers were originally sailors who worked with the Giants. The Giants gave them the magical beans so that the sailors visited... supposedly other worlds. It was before the Ogre Wars, when magical creatures and humans lived in harmony and worked together... But the Ogre Wars lasted for a century, and because of that the Travellers disappeared, for the Giants did no longer provide them with the beans. They hid up there, on the beanstalks, while the men remained on the ground, their alliance broken. »

« But the Travellers were cunning. They kept some beans. Six more precisely. Enough for three journeys. »

« And where did they go ? »

« What do you know about Gaelic, love ? »

Emma didn't see the link between the language and the other worlds. What was he up to ? « It's the oldest language of Draiochtland », she said with discipline. « It's the language of magic, the one that is used for spells. »

« Good. Now, have you ever wondered _why_ it allowed magic ? »

« Of course. »

« And ? »

Emma sighed, defeated. « I never found the answer. »

« It's because it's not to be found in_ this_ world darling », Hook said in a whisper. He sat up straight and crossed his arms over his chest. « Gaelic comes from another world, it's a celtic language. And the reason why it allows magic is because it was used by the greatest magician of this world, Merlin. »

« Okay... And... How did it make its way to our world ?» Emma asked, sceptic.

« Travellers of course », Hook winked. « That's how they used their first two beans they had left. »

« And the other four ? »

Hook smirked. « For another night love », he murmured before getting up.

« And why telling me all of this if I'm just a 'valuable merchandise' ? Why feeding me with your... choclet or chocolate or whatever this marvel is ? »

« I just loathe ignorance » Hook replied with a forced haughty tone.

« You know I'm not buying this. »

The pirate walked towards her and bent over her, until his mouth was practically stuck to her hear. « And you know I'm not telling you anything more tonight. »

Whereupon, he walked out of the kitchen, talking to the princess without looking at her and with this coy tone of his : « You'd better go to bed now love, you look like death warmed over. » Emma rolled her eyes and followed him.

When she entered the bedroom, he was sitting on the bed, a piece of fabric in his hand and a flask next to him. « Sit », he said to her. Emma obeyed, on her guards. The pirate placed his hook round her wounded hand and removed the scarf with his good hand. The bite was deep and Emma clenched her teeth as she felt the fabric brushing her flesh. The pirate looked at her, fragile, hurting, but trying so hard not to show it. Her eyes were set upon the floor, and her the fingernails of her other hand were digging into the mattress. Hook took the flask with his right hand, removed the cork with his teeth and poured a little of the liquid on Emma's wound. The latter shouted and tried to take off her hand from his grasp.

« What the hell is that ? » she yelled.

« Rum. A bloody waste of it. »

«_ Spain, 1585 _? » Emma scoffed, gasping for air as he mopped her wound with a piece of fabric.

« Carribean, 1651 (3). »

_Of course_. After which he took a needle and a linen thread. Emma understood immediately... and started to feel lightheaded. « You are not... I mean... »

« Emma, I have to stitch this up », he said softly.

« But you're a pirate, not a doctor ! Have you even already sewn before ? »

« Somebody showed me once. And I did it a couple of times afterwards. »

Was this supposed to reassure her ? The young woman wanted to protest but she felt the needle diving into her flesh and tearing it apart. She grew pale and this time, her fingernails dug into Hook's lap. The latter jumped in surprise.

« Well, something tells me you've gashed many men's back love », the pirate stated, amused.

« Don't push me », Emma mumbled.

Hook finally wrapped her hand again with a clean linen tissue, and then kissed it gently, his eyes always peering into Emma's.

« What was that for ? » she asked.

« To help you heal. Or just because I wanted to. »

Emma rolled her eyes. Why had she run away already ? She was about to give him a _biting_ reply when she noticed he was already_ hardly_ dressed, the weak light of the candles dancing on his bare chest.

« Enjoying the view love ? » It was not even a question. Rather an affirmation.

« I've seen better », Emma simply said.

« I doubt that », Hook replied very seriously.

« And may I know what do you _not_ doubt ? »

Hook thought about it for a short moment. « I don't doubt you will _not _resist me an entire night when we are both sleeping in the same bed. »

« Oh, we are now ? »

The pirate frowned. « No indignation ? No '_I shall never sleep with you disgusting pirate'_ ? »

She smiled, got up and started to undress, under the astonished eyes of a suddenly shy pirate.

« What are you doing ? » he asked while she was taking off her corset.

« I'm soaked », she answered, « Plus a little fuck would totally warm me up. »

Hook choked with surprise and chuckled. She had this very _natural _way to say such things. Like children who just say what they have on their minds. « A little _what_ ? » he said, laughing.

« Now what ? Captain Hook's a prude ? »

« I'm not 'fucking' you princess. »

Emma stopped undressing. « Why ? » she asked, confused. « I know this look in your eyes. You _want_ me. Why pretending you don't ? »

« You don't want _me_. You want somebody to bed_._ »

« And since when men care about that ? »

« Since you're a princess I've abducted in order to get a ransom » Hook scowled. « I don't play with food. »

« Oh, I see, you're a professional pirate now. That's original, I have to admit it. But why sleeping with me then ? »

« Precisely, because it's the _professional_ thing to do. »

With these last words, he took a rope out from his pocket and before Emma could open her mouth, he tied her wrist to his.

« You've got to be kidding me ! » she thundered as he flashed her a devilish and satisfied smile.

« The only reason I sleep with you tonight is because I want to make sure you do not escape. And I could use some warmth too. Now, _in the bed_. »

« Oh, in '_in the bed_' in a commanding voice, chills » Emma deadpanned.

Hook grinned and jumped on the bed causing Emma to fall next to him. The young woman sighed heavily and tried to get under the sheets and the fur blanket as Hook did the same.

« You're sleeping with your hook ? » Emma asked.

« You don't trust me and I don't trust you either. So yes, _I'm sleeping with my hook_. And you'd better stay still if you don't want me to draw on your thighs. »

« And you're being professional, obviously », Emma scoffed.

Hook cocked an eyebrow at her. « Shut up princess. »

He blew out the candles on the bedside and fell into his original position. He was facing Emma, the valuable merchandise he had saved and healed. Her eyes were closed, but her breath was still fast. Their hands were tied together and lied between them, on the level of their heads. Hook congratulated himself for this brilliant idea. She couldn't escape without risking to wake him up, and his eyes were graced by her beauty.

In the dark of the room they lay, their breaths mingling, their wrists touching, as the cries of the wolves raised in the howling wind of the blizzard.

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(**1**) Draiochtland : Invention of mine... Pretty lame x) It musn't mean anything, but it _should_ mean "land of magic" taken literally. Magic = _draíocht_ in Irish Gaelic.

(**2**) Chocolate : _The first recorded shipment of chocolate to Europe for commercial purposes was in a shipment from Veracruz to Sevilla in 1585_. (Wikipedia). But the Mesoamerican civilizations already used it !

(**3**) Rum : _ Coromines states 1651 as the first recording of "rumbullion", and 1654 for "rum"_ (Wikipedia)

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**A/N : I have NO idea why I included chocolate here. Maybe because I'm addicted to it, and because to me winter and cold means COCOA and chocolate. Also, it's aphrodisiac. But as you saw Emma doesn't need this *coughs* I'm trying to make use of the fact that Emma can't feel emotions so she's driven by what she PHYSICALLY feels. There will always be this paradox. She can feel... _but she can't_.**

**Nevermind, _what did you think about their second meeting_ ? I couldn't help it, I wanted him to save her, even though it's super _cliché_. But it gave me _Beauty & the Beast_ feels and he saved her from wolves, so also from himself in a way as he came to the ball as a lone wolf... Sorry but I think a whole lot about those things when I write XD**

**And a cookie for the ones who point out the reference to _Les Misérables_ ahaha. **

**Thanks again for reading, I hope you've enjoyed this chapter ! Next update on Sunday. **

**Your reviews mean a lot :)**

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Mel : Merci beaucoup ! Oui tout a explosé d'un coup, j'en avais besoin pour faire avancer l'histoire... Et à propos de la magie d'Emma, héhé, très bonne question (que je ne m'étais même pas posée pour être tout à fait honnête). Donc je ne sais pas, disons qu'en tout cas ce n'est pas exploité pour le moment...


	7. Tough, Pretty and Smart

**A/N : I keep getting more and more ASTONISHED by your response to this fic. Woah. Thank you so much 3 **

**This chapter is much shorter than the previous one and the others in general, sorry about that... And the next one's going to be super tiny... But it's a logical dividing, so I can't change it ! I hope its okay. And I'm not gonna lie, this is _not_ my favorite chapter x) Also, quotation marks changed ;)**

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**Chapter 7 : Tough, pretty and smart**

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It was the silence that woke Emma. No howling, no wolves crying, no blizzard. Only a strangely close breath and the beating of a strangely close heart. The princess felt a warmth trailing down the palm of her hand, drawing delicate circles and brushing her skin.

"Hello love", she heard as she opened her eyes. Oh, right. _Him_.

"What the hell are you doing with my hand ?" she asked still a littly sleepy.

"Oh nothing, just drawing a map", the pirate casually answered, his head resting on the back of his hand.

The princess closed her fist and chuckled. "A _map_ ? Seriously ? Could you be any weirder ?"

"Well I could tell you that I've been awaken for two hours and that I didn't want to wake you up because the view is quite pleasant."

Emma rolled her sleepy eyes and sighed. "Captain Creepy would suit you so much better."

Hook smiled and scanned her face, peering into her green eyes. "Tough, pretty and smart. Sounds like the very definition of dangerous to me." He paused and bit his lower lip, a strange emotion dancing in his blue irises. "Now shut up get up love." Whereupon, he suddenly jumped out from the bed, forcing Emma to follow quite violently.

The young woman muttered to herself, but suddenly, her annoyed look was replaced by a glint of malice. "Care to untie me handsome ?" Emma asked with a charming tone -the one she used to achieve her ends.

"Hum...I don't know..." Hook answered with a knowing smirk. "You're not the kind of girls who should be allowed to walk freely. I have to say I fear your claws princess."

Emma tilted her head to the side. "Well, if you don't untie me now you'll sure have to worry about your pretty face and perfect skin."

Hook grinned, lowered his eyes and got closer to her, until he felt her breath on his mouth. "What if I _wanted_ you tied up to me love ?" he teased lowly, an indescribable emotion glittering under his thick and black lashes.

"You'd better not", Emma answered as lowly, a look of iron taking over her soft green eyes.

"May I know why ?"

Emma's hand made it way to his cheek, caressing it smoothly, causing him to shiver. "I'm doomed Captain."

Hook scoffed. "I doubt you're more doomed than I am, love. A beautiful princess loved and bound to rule a peaceful kingdom... Yes this definitely sounds like a curse."

"You know nothing about me, _pirate_", she spat, trying to get away from him.

He grabbed her wrist and held it tight, so tight she could't help but wince in pain. His voice became harsher, his look harder. "I know enough to know that you never experienced pain or sorrow darling."

"And how would you know that ?"

The pirate let go of her wrist, suddenly realizing he was crashing her bones. "The clouds", he let out in a whisper, his eyes now set on the floor.

"Excuse me ?"

He sighed and tilted his head, his eyes locked on hers. "The clouds in the eye. That's how you recognize someone who's suffered. And I've never seen clearer eyes than yours."

The atmosphere became burdensome, the air even seemed colder. The dancing flames had turned to ashes in the fireplace, red pieces of wood giving away to oblivion. They both stood here, the princess and the pirate, their wrists linked by a rope, and it was as if they were nothing but one being. Emma opened her mouth, but no sound was to make it through her lips. He didn't know her, and yet, he saw right through her. She felt naked around him, without anywhere to hide. His stormy eyes scanned her soul, melted in the very core of her being.

She felt him winding through the maze of her mind and getting drowned into her irises, desperate for answers and clouds. Clouds he would not find. For he was right, Emma didn't know anything about pain. She only knew she was everyone's cause of sorrow, which was very different. She felt his look underneath her skin, making its way in her bones, rushing in her veins. He was inside of her, beholding every little piece of her. And she hated that. "Untie me. Now." she snarled.

Hook didn't answer. He looked strangely... focused, listening closely. He put a finger before her lips and Emma's body tensed. Something was wrong. Suddenly, screams echoed the rattle of swords and Emma understood that she was the reason of this mayhem. She shook her hand and glared at the captain with an _I-told-you-so look_ : "I think you'd better cut off that rope Captain, _now._"

Hook heaved a heavy sigh and fished a dagger in his pocket. "I'm not taking my eyes off of you for a second."

"I would despair if you did", Emma answered, rolling her eyes. She grabbed her clothes and quickly put them on as Hook did the same with his. They rushed out of the room and Emma started to head to the fight, her hands gripping her bow.

"Don't even think about it !" Hook barked grabbing her arm. "You take a horse and get out of here princess."

"What ? You've got to be kidding me ! I'm not staying behind !"

"Look, you're still a valuable merchandise remember ? These gentlemen are probably guards of Eurwen. Your _home_. Somehow they heard about you being here and now they want to rescue you. If they do so, I'll end up with a rope round my neck. So now, you _go_, and don't even try to best me, you'd regret it."

Emma sighed and glared at the pirate. She wanted to fight. She knew it was not the smartest thing to do, but damn, she wanted to. Ever since she had escaped, she had been told what to do, she had been tied up to a ruthless pirate. She was a _captive_. And somehow, she had agreed to be one. It was adventure, finally. But she didn't want to be considered as a glass princess or a damsel in distress. So many contradictions tumbled out in her head. Running away and never seeing Hook again, going back home, following his orders and remaining his captive... She had no idea what to do. She didn't understand why, but some kind of force linked her to this man. She felt like she _had_ to stay with him. That _he _would provide her the adventurous life she craved. She couldn't come back to Eurwen. Not after what she did to her sister. Was she even alive ? No, they would lock her up in a tower and all her dreams of freedom would vanish forever. She had two choices : taking this opportunity and running away, or getting away from the fight and wait for Hook. Freedom or him.

"Do you really think I'm leaving you a choice love ?" Hook snapped as if he were reading her thoughts. "You go south towards the port, you follow the royal road without taking it, and you wait for me in Marcus's tavern. Tell him you come from my part. I'll join you quickly. NOW GO."

With these words, he left the room brandishing his sword, hoping she'd make the right choice.

* * *

"Where is she ?" a man's voice yelled.

"Well, moored to the docks of Conway(1) Port, where else would she be ?" Hook answered with a grin, as his sword rattled against his opponent's. His men were both held by two guards and rather in hot water to say the least. The odds were _not _in his favor.

"We don't have time for your riddles, _pirate_", the man snarled. "I don't give a damn about your bloody ship. Tell us where the princess is._ Now_."

Hook lowered his head and smiled to the ground. "I'm afraid she's the only woman in all the kingdom that is _not_ in my possession. Now if you'd be kind enough to let me and my men go-"

The man lifted his sword to Hook's throat, the tip of the blade caressing his chin. "I don't think so." The guard moved forward to the Captain, his sword still threatening the latter. "The King and Queen want their daughter back. They clearly told their guards that they didn't care about the collateral damages. So... A pirate and his men left to die, their guts spilled in the snow should not be that big of a problem. One last time : _where is she _?"

The pirate's jaw clenched and he swallowed. He had not come all this way to give her up. She finally was his, he was not going to let her go so easily. But all of this would not matter if he was dead. Well, if he told them, he'd be hung anyway. Perks of being a pirate.

Suddenly, the man's face turned pale, his mouth opened, his eyebrows furrowed in surprise. A thin trickle of blood colored his chin and made its way down his neck. The man fell to his knees, revealing a feminine silhouette. "Right behind you", she said. _Emma_. The two other guards looked mesmerized. Without further hesitation, Hook's men took advantage of the situation and took care of them, their muffled cries stifled by the wind.

"What the hell are you doing here ?" Hook snapped after a few seconds of silence, astonished and confused.

"You're welcome", she scoffed. "Guess we're even now."

"We're _not_. I handled this."

Emma rolled her eyes. "Sure you did. If I had listened to you _you_'d be the one coloring the snow with your blood right now."

"And you thought that killing the man was a great idea because...?"

"He was about to cut your throat !" she yelled, outraged.

The pirate let out a bitter laugh. "Oh no, not to me princess. Don't you pretend it was because you _cared_ about _my _life."

Silence weighed over them, heavy and stifling. Emma gulped, unsure about her answer. "It was the easiest thing to do", she finally whispered.

A sad expression invaded Hook's face. Killing this man had been the easiest thing to do. But killing is not supposed to be easy. Even for him. A pirate's legend said that a part of your soul leaves your body with evey life you take, bringing you closer to Davy Jones's locker. It only means that killing another human being kills you in the process. Killian Jones had learned it at his expense, looking for revenge. "Let's go before someone discovers the body." That's all he managed to say to the beautiful creature who had just killed a man before his eyes. _In cold blood_.

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On horseback again, his coat wrapped around her once more, they went down a lane parallel to the royal road, heading to Conway Port. No blizzard shook the earth this time, but the sky was colored in black by the large and heavy clouds which filtered the light of the sun. The land seemed to be nothing but a black and white picture, and the pirate and the princess were trapped between the immaculate ground and the coal sky.

"Why did you come back ?" Hook suddenly asked, breaking the heavy silence.

Emma smiled. "I'm not really of the docile kind." She felt him chuckle behind her.

"Understatement love. But it doesn't answer the question."

Seconds of quietness floated between the question and the answer. The pirate didn't know why, but he feared Emma's reply, and he hoped she didn't feel the racing beating of his heart against her back.

"I just didn't want to stay behind", she finally said. "I didn't escape in order to be told what I have to do. I don't want to be a prisoner."

"And yet you came back to your kidnapper", Hook remarked, more and more puzzled by this strange creature's mind.

"It's just very confused I... It's crazy, I feel like being your captive will provide me more freedom than I've had in my entire life." She heaved a sigh, her eyes looking for something to stare at. She sensed his hot breath blowing against her bare neck, wind of fire in the ice of this winter's day.

"Freedom seems to be a really big deal for you", he noted.

Emma shook her head impatiently. "It's _more_ than freedom. If I escaped, it's because I wanted to get away from my family, from the court... from _people_."

Another moment of pure silence fell upon them. Nothing was to be heard but the crunching of the hooves on the snow. "Emma... This man... You knew him, didn't you ?"

She answered faster than he had expected her to. "Duncan. His name was Duncan. He was the Captain of the guard of Eurwen." His body tensed, and she knew something was wrong. "What is it ?"

"You knew him", he coldly stated. "You knew him and you killed him in cold blood."

"Oh spare me the lesson", Emma spat. "_You'_re the criminal here, the ruthless pirate. Since when is killing a problem ? A pirate's life is made of rum and blood."

"But_ you_ are _not_ a pirate. Killing shouldn't be so easy Emma."

"But it _is_. And there's nothing you or I can do about this. Why do you even care ?"

The Captain looked down on the princess sitting in front of him. Her golden hair flowing in the cold wind. The heat of her body against his. Her voice somehow still floating in the air. "I don't."

Tough, pretty and smart. The very definition of dangerous. She'd be the end of him.

Little did he know.

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(1) Conway : Comes from a surname which was derived from the name of the River Conwy, which possibly means "holy water" in Welsh

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**A/N : Well... I'm not a big fan of this chapter, but it's a necessary step ! I don't why, I wasn't inspired. It happens. But I hope you enjoyed it anyway ! *rubs her forehead nervously***

**As for the so called pirate legend, I totally made it up.**

**Next update on Wednesday ! Thanks for reading, following, favoriting and _reviewing_ :)**

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Mel : '_ça lui coupe le sifflet pour une fois_' ahaha EXACTEMENT ! L'arroseur arrosé ;) Et oooooh tu vas manquer des chapitres ? Mais tu pars en Asie, c'est génial ! Et puis dis-toi qu'à ton retour t'auras plusieurs chapitres à lire d'affilée ;)

Camilleanderson : Merci beaucoup !


	8. Thorny treasure

**A/N : As always, thank you so much for reading/favoriting/following and REVIEWING. It's fun to see how you're all dying to see Hook's reaction when he finds out Emma has no heart... Sorry to disappoint, but it'll take a while before he does. Some things have to happen first ;)  
**

**About this chapter... Only 1,912 words I AM SO SORRY GUYS. Shortest chapter ever. But that's how it came out so... I hope the content will make up for the briefness !**

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**Chapter 8 : Thorny treasure**

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The sun was already disappearing under the horizon when Emma, Hook and his men arrived at Conway Port. They had given up the horses to Marcus, the innkeeper, on their way to the docks. The latter were still full of sailors and tradesmen, wrapped up warmly in their thick fur and leather coats. Emma looked at them with a curious look. For twenty three years, all she had known had been the hallways and the gardens of Eurwen, the knights and gentlemen, the servants and guards. And here she was, winding through smelly men who eyed her greedily, under the protective look of her kidnapper. Every now and then, she glanced at him, surprised by the way his jaw clenched each time a mariner looked too intensly at her. The way his hand instinctively wrapped her waist. She was not a captive. She was a well guarded treasure._ His _treasure.

Well, a princess _was_ a valuable merchandise.

Finally, they reached the Jolly Roger. Emma's eyes widened as she scanned the majestic ship, proudly carried by the soft flow of the waves. It stood there in the river of ochre that flooded from the falling sun, gigantic shadow splashed with light. The very silhouette of freedom Emma had read about so many times.

"Princess Emma, meet the Jolly Roger", Hook said with a huge hint of pride in his voice.

Emma crossed her arms over her chest and tilted her head to the side. "So here she is, the woman of your life", she remarked.

With surprise, she noticed clouds gathering in Hook's eyes. "Indeed. She's all I have left." He shook his head and showed her the way with ceremony. "After you m'lady."

Emma nodded and climbed on the Jolly Roger. She stumbled upon a real hubbub, sailors rushing on the deck. The return of their Captain had surprised them and interrupted their... drinking. _Pirates_.

She felt a hand falling on the small of her back. "Don't worry princess, I'll protect you from the scum", she heard him say.

She turned back to face him. "In case you didn't notice, I handle myself just well Captain," she murmured to his ear, shivers appearing under her hot breath. She turned her heels and set foot on the damp deck. Suddenly, as if some kind of spell had fallen upon the ship, the mayhem stopped and the sailors froze. She felt the gaze of the whole crew crashing on her, _undressing_ her. But there was something else than greed and lust. Some sort of... astonishment. As if they couldn't believe she was real. As if, somehow, they had heard about her, and expected her arrival without believing in it.

"Hook..." she began, lowly, without looking at him. "What the hell ?"

The pirate took her hand and prompted her to step forward. "I kind of briefed them before my departure. I warned them. They won't lay a finger on you princess."

"You mean that you _planned_ on abducting me ?" she muttered, her eyebrows dangerously frowning.

The smirk struck back. "Something like that. Come with me now, the snow's going to fall again."

On these words, he opened the door of what she figured to be his quarters.

Well, the guy had no reason to be jealous of her life of luxury.

Crimson and ebony were illuminated by the flickering light of a few candles, gilded shadows glistening on the precious materials. His bed stood in the middle of the room, majestic and imposing, and Emma couldn't help but wonder how many women had slept there. Well, slept...

The scarlet sheets were made of silk, and delicate waves appeared here and there. The young woman was much surprised not to see anything personal though. Everything in this cabin exhaled luxury and even lust, conquest and piracy. But nothing was to be found on the desk or on the wardrobe. No trinket. She realized that this cabin was far more than a simple bedroom. It was Killian Jones's den. _It was Killian Jones._ A mask of luxury and yet no flourish. He didn't show anyting but what he wanted to.

"I guess it's not as spacious as your bedroom in Eurwen, but I think it will do", the pirate said, waking her from her thoughts.

"Sleeping in the Captain's cabin, should I feel honored or something ?" Emma deadpanned.

"Well you can always sleep with my men but I fear you won't find it pleasant princess."

She rolled her eyes. "Stop calling me that."

Hook smiled and cocked an eyebrow at her. "So you're not the daughter of a King and a Queen ?"

"I don't want to be. I am not anymore. I'm just... Emma. The foolish girl lost at sea in the company of a infuriating pirate."

"Sounds like a lovely dream darling. But I'm afraid you'll remain a princess as long as you'll be in my company."

"Why that ?" Emma sighed.

The pirate sighed back and his eyebrow did that annoying thing again. "See, I didn't abduct you because I had nothing better to do. I abducted you because you, my lady, are quite a treasure." He paused, waiting for her to react. Which she did not. "I want a ransom, you foolish little princess. Didn't read this in your books ?"

"Don't patronize me, stupid pirate" she spat. "It's just that... Nevermind. I'll be your treasure if you insist. Even though you seem wealthy enough to me."

"Says the shamelessly rich princess born in a castle of marber."

"Why are we even talking ?"

The Captain heaved a sigh. "You're right, let's not waste any more time. You need to get some rest after the... latest events. The bed's yours, as well as the cabin, but do not go out on the deck without me."

Emma chuckled. "Wait, you want me to sleep _here_ ? You're not tying me up again, are you ?" she asked, eyeing the bed.

The Captain grinned and discretly licked his upper lip. "Aye, as much as I'd love to tie you up to me, I think you won't go anywhere. You don't _want_ to. I still don't really get why, but you're thrilled to be a pirate's treasure."

A new twinkle appeared under her blak lashes. She got dangerously closer to him, slowly, without taking her eyes off of him, her hips rolling and her body sliding like a cat's. Hook could feel her breath on his face, her eyes were set on his lips and her mouth was half open. What the hell was she doing ? The pirate gulped, suddenly scared of what this beautiful creature was about to do.

She laid her hands on his chest, delicately trailing her fingertips on his bare skin. The cold of her long slender fingers caused him to shiver, and the pulse of his heart raced with every circle they drew. Suddenly, her lips were pressed on his jawline in a tender kiss, and he heaved a heavy sigh, struggling with the moans nestled in his throat, but unwilling to fight her warmth. Soon, her mouth reached his earlobe, and the fire of her slick tongue was too much to handle. For a few seconds, Hook wanted to give it all up, to surrender to his fair goddess and crush his lips onto hers, sink into her, make her scream, grip her smooth body, run his hand in her hair, make her feel his burning desire.

Just like she wanted him to.

After a last lingering lick, she let go of his ear and locked her eyes on his. "A treasure is to be consumed Captain", she let out in a hoarse whisper. "Squandered till the last coin." Her hand was now making its way on his pants, gently brushing the bump that had appeared. "Used and abused until there is nothing left." His body was on fire. His brain refused to function. His head was filled with the sole name of Emma, resonating louder and louder, deafening the erratic thump of his heart. She took his hand and put it on her breast, right over her heart. "This," she said showing it, "means nothing. We don't need it to have fun, trust me."

All of a sudden and without warning, Hook pulled back and grabbed her arm, forcing a muffled cry of pain out of her mouth. His hand wrapped and pressed her delicate skin, and soon, crimson colored her flesh. "What game are you playing princess ?" he hissed, his eyes filled with an expression of wrath she didn't know he had.

"Because all of this isn't a game maybe ?" Emma snapped between two groans, deperately trying to get out of his grip.

Finally, the pirate let go of her hand, a concern look taking over the fury. He seemed scared and sorry... even desperate. "You're right..." he said dryly. "This is all a game. But you're merely a player."

His blue eyes lingered on her puzzled expression, and he stormed out of his cabin without further explanation. He didn't owe her anything. She was playing with fire.

And he knew the smell of the smoke all too well.

* * *

Killian Jones stood on the deck as his crew rushed and prepared the ship to sail. Light feathers of frost rained down on them, carried by a soft winter wind. It was quite amusing to see that the weather was so peaceful when everything was crumbling all around him.

The sun was slowly vanishing underneath the skyline, engulfed by the Scarlet Sea. Right in front of him, beyond the incandescent horizon, lay the Kingdom of Tesni, land of the sun and heat, South of Draiochtland. Endless stretches of white sand, ochre castles and gigantic palm trees were to be found in this land. Killian had gone there once. He didn't keep a good memory. That was where he got his scar on the cheek. He should've known better than sleeping with the King's daughter. And he didn't want to make the same mistake again. _Let's not sleep with the Four Kingdoms Killian, you'll find another way to screw them_ he thought with a grin.

Anyway, this was not their destination. They were headed to a much farther island, unknown of the maps and landsmen, lost in Nehalennia Ocean. The journey was not going to be smooth, there were bumpy seas ahead. Especially at this time of the year.

As if he had read his thoughts – or maybe he just noticed how his Captain's fingers pattered on the railing, Smee carefully approached. "You know, Captain, maybe we should wait a week before leaving... It takes a week to go there, and in less than a week..." The man looked nervous. He rubbed his forehead and took off his red beret. "You know... New Year's Eve..."

Hook cut him off, tired. "I know my legends, Smee. We are leaving tonight. I can't afford another week here. They'll come after her soon enough. I have to take her away as soon as possible, no matter what awaits us during the journey."

Smee looked down, something visibly bothering him. The Captain sensed a question burning his mouth. "Spit it Smee. What do you want to ask me ?"

The plump little man looked at him, fearful. "Do you... Do you think she's the one ?"

Hook sighed and his head turned to the ocean. "That she is."

Smee nodded silently and left his Captain to his troubled thoughts. He had to take her there. For her own safety. She was everything he needed. And he prayed the Gods evertyhing would go as he had planned.

Sea Sprights or not.

* * *

**A/N : LEAVING YOU THERE WITH THIS TINY CLIFFHANGER. What's a sea spright ugh ? And Emma is one plucky woman right ? She knows what she wants. But Hook does too. He's got something planned for Emma and he's resisting her... **

**I hope this little 'hot' (well that's a very big word here) made up for the tiny chapter :) Next update on Friday !**

**Thank you amazing readers  
**

**PS : If you saw the reference to one of Shakespeare's plays, you're officially my BFF. **

* * *

_Mel : Oh mais de rien c'est normal que je te réponde ! Et puis tes reviews à CHAQUE chapitre me font vraiment très plaisir :) C'est vrai que mon Emma est trèèèèès différente de celle qu'on connaît... Elle n'a pas de coeur quoi x)_

_La jungle cambodgienne c'est trop cool ! Je te souhaite un bon séjour ;) Et merci pour tout !_


	9. Sea Spright

**A/N : Publishing this in the midst of all the craziness on Tumblr... x) Still, I hope you'll read it. You like bold Emma ? GOOD. **

* * *

**Chapter 9 : Sea Spright**

.

.

_Fucking Killian Jones_.

That was a normal morning aboard the Jolly Roger. Emma had opened her eyes, scanned the cabin, sighed and swore : _Fucking Killian Jones_. The infuriating Captain was making her life a living hell. Was he even aware of this ? She didn't understand him, at all. He just kept refusing her proposals. And she didn't get why. She felt this undeniable attraction between them, this supernatural chemistry. She had never felt like this before. She _needed_ him. She craved for his body, his warmth, his smell, his breath, especially since she had put her lips on his flesh... And she _knew_ he wanted her too. She felt the desire lingering in the air each time they were together. Well, those moments were more and more rare, for the prude pirate was clearly avoiding her. But they were on the same ship. He could not avoid her forever.

Hook had decided to sleep with his mates. They didn't understand why in the world their Captain would purposely refuse to sleep with a stunning young princess. But he didn't owe them anything. He knew it was the wisest thing to do. Because he was aware of things she would never imagine. He had a plan. And he wanted to stick to it. Princess Emma Elea of Eurwen would not change it. She had to stop her incessant flirting before it was too late. By all the Gods, the pirate couldn't even believe he was the one to think that. And yet, he was.

The sun was slowly making its way to its zenith, gradually floodlighting the endless stretch of the Nehalennia Ocean. The sky was pure and clear, a warm wind chasing away a few cottony stains. The weather was much more clement than it was back in Elanoriah. They were almost there, the Pirate Island, den of the mariners and fellons, where the sun was always shining no matter the seasons. The island knew no snow, no cold, no rain. The weather was always gentle. It was out of the world, out of Draiochtland. _Literally_.

Hook was at the helm, his eyes lost in the neverending blue. He was no fool. The warmth and the sunrays couldn't make him forget which day of the year it was. December the 31st. He, the dreadful Killian Jones, had never sailed on December the 31st . Because he knew all too well what the sea did to the fools who ventured there that day. His father had. And never did he come back home. Nor did his crew. They were now all wandering in Davy Jones's locker for eternity, his glorious ship lying at the bottom of the ocean, eroded by water and times. He just hoped he was not to know the same fate, not now that he had a mission to achieve, not when he was so close to his lifegoal.

"Lir, may you keep us safe on that fateful day," he whispered to the God of the Sea. What ? Sailors were very superstitious.

But a voice made its way to his ear and jolted him out from his reverie. "Captain Hook praying a God ? Well well well, it must be important. Are we gonna die or something ?"

Emma. _Of course_. She couldn't have stayed in the cabin when the weather was so tempting. Or when he was not in there with her.

Hook sighed and turned to her. "Maybe."

"Could you be a little clearer ?" she recklessly asked.

Hook's eyebrows furrowed. "No."

"Whoa. You're really talkative today. Wait, it's almost been a _week_." She crossed her arms over her chest and frowned back. "What's going on Hook ? Is this because of my flirting ? Because I..."

"Why the hell do you think you're the center of the attention, princess ?" he thundered, suddenly letting go of the helm. "I have bigger problems than you trying to get me to _fuck you_."

Emma's jaw clenched. She was not giving up that easily. "Fair enough. My apologies Captain, I thought you were into me."

Hook swallowed and turned his eyes to the sea. But Emma noticed his unease. "Tell me you don't feel anything for me and I'll leave you alone", she said very seriously. But the pirate remained silent, his eyes locked the Gods know where. He was trying so hard to act as if nothing was going on between them. But in her quest to finding out what was missing in her all these years, she had learnt to observe people. She knew how to recognize liars. And the specimen that stood right in front of her was definitely the most interesting of them all.

"There's something going on," she said as she took a step towards him. "And I swear I'll find out what it is. The looks your men gave me when I set foot on this ship, you taking me to the end of the world though all you want is a reward... I'm pretty good at finding out secrets. Because I know those very well. It's just a matter of time before I discover yours."

She went away and headed to the deck when she froze and smiled. "Oh, by the way, if we die today, you'll be the one regretting not screwing me when you had the chance. Just saying."

And the worst part of this was that she really did mean this. Hook stroke the helm and swore. He had a plan. But this plan didn't include Emma being a nympho. "Lucky me", he sighed.

As he tried to focus on the map, drops of water crashed on the thin paper. One, two, three, then dozens of drops rained down from the changing sky. Coal and hematite invaded the heavenly vault, followed by an ocean of heavy and threatening clouds. The wind grew colder, and soon, white lightening ripped the sky apart. This was no natural storm. All of it, from the smell to the light exhaled dark magic. _Curse_. The waves grew and rolled and crashed onto the hull, causing the ship to shake. Hook held onto the railing, desperately trying to keep his eyes opened despite the pouring rain. Only one thing came to his mind in this chaos. "Emma..." he said. Where was she ? His eyes peered at the deck in front of him, but the raindrops mingling to the wind made it impossible for him to make out anything. His men were all busy keeping the ship afloat, but Emma was nowhere to be seen. He had found her once.

He was not losing her now.

* * *

Emma was on the deck, lost in the middle of a real mayhem. Shoved by the sailors and the dangerous waving of the ship, she had trouble standing on her legs. She was soaked and shaking, her golden hair plastered against her forehead and cheeks and hanging in front of her eyes. It was the very first time she faced a thunderstorm. A week ago she didn't even know how it felt like to be aboard a ship or what sea looked like. She had no idea what to do. Gathering her wits, she decided to take shelter in Hook's cabin as if he surely would've wanted her to, but as she tried to move, her body refused to obey her. Her feet were strongly anchored on the slippery deck.

"What the hell ?" she screamed.

"Hello Emma."

The princess blinked and raised her head. She couldn't see clearly, but she made out a feminine silhouette. Her hair was as black as the ravenlike sky, and despite the darkness, she could see two twinkling blue eyes staring at her. A strange aura surrounded her and exuded from her shape, as if she wasn't really there... At first, Emma even thought she was in her head.

"Who are you ?" Emma asked, cautiously.

The woman laughed. "Oh, Killian didn't mention me, of course. How gentleman-like of him." She paused and moved forward. "I am Milah, Killian's wife."

Emma frowned and opened her mouth as if to speak, but the words died on her lips. What could she possibly say ? She was struck and dumbfounded. She didn't know anything about Hook.

"How did you get here ?" Emma inquired, confused. "It's been a week and... I haven't seen you around... How... How is this possible ?"

Milah smiled and shook her head. "Oh sweetheart. I am not here. Not really."

"Do I look like I want to play to riddles ?" Emma snapped.

"You look like you can't do anything else since you're literally _stuck_ here darling."

The young woman bit her lips. "What do you want ? Why doing this to me ?"

The said Milah moved forward her, an evil smirk distorting her face. "See, a few years ago, my heart was crushed right where you stand. Its dust covered the deck and was then carried away by the wind. But Killian never forgot me. He never forgot my dead body in his arms, the look in my eyes as I was dying, my heart reduced to dust as my last '_I love you_' died away. And ever since a little more than a week, I feel like he's slipping away from me. His heart's not mine anymore. Someone else is haunting his mind. You, my dear, are a threat."

As she was trying to process the woman's words, Emma felt a grip tightening her heart, cutting her breathing.

"You should not stand here you little slut." Milah spat, her blue eyes turning red. "You don't deserve him. _I_ should be here in your place, alive. Because you know what sweetie ? Davy Jones's locker sucks."

Emma gasped for air, helpless. She sank to the ground, her hand put upon her heart as if she tried to ease the pain and untighten the grasp. She was unable to think straight, unable to talk, unable to make it stop. She felt the ache growing in her chest as the air was running out. The only thought her brain allowed her to make concerned the irony of the situation. She didn't have a heart. The thing that lied in her chest was a counterfeit, a sham. And yet, she felt the sharp pain coursing though each cell of her body, from her chest to her bones. She wanted it to stop. No matter what it took.

Suddenly, as Milah was dangerously moving forward her victim, Hook rushed to the deck. "Let her go !"

"Killian ?" Milah softly said.

Hook cautiously approached her. "Milah, please, don't do this."

"You gave me no choice my love. You are forgetting about me, forgetting about your revenge. All of this because of this whore ? She will never love you, you hear me ? Never !"

"It's not for you to decide !" he screamed. Seeing the anger distorting her features, he did his best to remain calm. "Milah, I will always love you, but holding onto a ghost makes _me_ ghost. I want to live again, I have to move on."

The woman was out of her mind. The red light in her eyes intensified. "NO ! I WON'T LET YOU !" She clenched the fist, her nails diving into the palm of her hand. Emma let out a cry of pain and her head fell heavily on the deck.

"NO !"

Hook rushed to her, hot tears mingling with the cold raindrops. He was not losing her to a memory. He kneeled by her side and took her in his arms. "You foolish girl,_ I_ make the demands, _you_ follow them. I demand you to wake up, you hear me ? EMMA ?"

Milah tilted her head to the side. Desperation had replaced her wrath. "I've waited for you to sail on December the 31st. I wanted to see you again. You never came. You knew I would pay you a visit and still, you_ never_ came. And today, here you are... Cradling another woman in your arms ? It was never supposed to be this way... Never..." Her look was empty, wandering in the Jolly Roger, as if she was talking to herself.

Hook raised his head. "Do you love me Milah ?" he asked as his voice cracked.

She took a step towards him. "Of course I do."

"Then let her live."

Milah lowered her head. The wind had ceased and so had the thunder. Nothing was to be heard but the patter of the rain onto the deck.

"She's my second chance" Hook softly said. "My _only _chance. Please. "

Tears filled Milah's eyes, which were blue again. She looked peaceful, as if she had understood something, as if she had finally found her answers. "_You_ are _her _only chance Killian Jones. Just like you were mine." With these words, she slowly faded away, as the darkness vanished under the gentle sunrays.

Hook caressed Emma's cheek, waiting for her to wake up. "Please Emma, wake up." He carefully tucked her soaked hair behind her ears and noticed how her eyelids trembled. Soon, she opened her eyes with difficulty. The Captain couldn't help smiling. "Welcome back princess" he whispered in a grin.

Emma rubbed her forehead, still weak. "That was my first angry ex. You could've warned me", she mumbled.

Hook breathed deeply as he helped her get up. "I owe you an explanation indeed" he confessed. He wrapped her waist with his arm and led her to the cabin. Once there, she fell onto the bed, exhausted and sore. Hook sat on the leather armchair in front of the bed. "Are you hurt ?" he asked.

"Apart from my heart, everything's fine", she said. "Now, care to tell me what the hell just happened out there ?"

The pirate bit his cheek, unsure as to what he should said, and how he should present it. "You saw me praying to the God Lir earlier", he reminded her. She nodded. "Well, there is an old pirate legend which says that if you venture on the ocean on the last day of December, spirits will invade your ship and drag you down to Davy Jones's locker. Those spirits are vengeful ones, ghosts of persons who died at sea, often on the ship they're haunting. We call them 'sea sprights'. The woman you saw out there was one."

"She also was your wife", Emma added.

Hook rubbed the back of his neck with his good hand. "That she was. Well, not officially."

"Care to be a little more explicit about the woman who almost killed me ?"

The pirate leant forward and put his elbows on his knees. "We loved each other. We... I met her in a tavern about twenty years ago."

"Woah, wait,_ twenty _years ?" Emma exclaimed. "You met when you were both ten or what ?"

"Aye, this... I may have stayed in Neverland for a while."

All right, what was going on today ? "_Neverland _?" she repeated, frowning. "I thought it was nothing but a tale."

"All tales come from something real. It's one of the many worlds floating around us."

"But how did you get there ?"

"Remember what I told you about the beans ?"

Another lesson to chant. "Only six remained. The first two were used to bring Gaelic and other wonders to our world, centuries before the Ogre Wars", she recounted.

Hook smiled. "Good girl. I used two beans to get to Neverland. I wanted to find a way to get my revenge."

This was all becoming very confusing for the still dizzy princess who had just faced Captain Hook's dead and hysterical ex. "Hold on a second, your revenge from _whom_ ?"

Hook bit his lip. He knew he had to talk about this eventually. "I'm coming to this point. I met Milah twenty years ago, when I was 28. But she was already married to another man, a coward who had nothing to offer her. She left him and ran off with me. But he found us only a year later and he killed her."

"He crushed her heart in front of you..." Emma continued, lowly.

The pirate closed his eyes and nodded.

"Who was he ?" she asked softly.

The name came out of his mouth like an insult. "Rumplestiltskin."

_Rumplestiltskin_. The Dark One. The one who had ripped her heart out twenty three years ago. What a coincidence... Or was it ? "I'm sorry Hook. Sorry you had to go through all of this."

The pirate cracked a sad smile. "I'm sorry too. My demons shouldn't have gotten to you. She almost killed you today."

"But you saved me. Once again." She paused and her lips parted in a grin. "Just tell me you don't have more angry exes."

"You want the truth ?"

Emma laughed. "I'd rather get some sleep."

"Right. Rest love. I'll wake you up once we're arrived." Hook got up and reached the door of the cabin. Her voice held him back.

"You're lucky", Emma said.

"What ?"

"To have someone who loves you that much. She came back for you. She tried to eliminate me because she was afraid of losing you. I'd like to love that much. I'd like to _be_ loved that much."

Their eyes locked for a few seconds that seemed to last for an eternity. Silence, once more, had invaded the space between them. The pirate just nodded in silence before getting out and closing the door behind him. Once on the deck, as his crew was cleaning up the mess caused by the supernatural thunderstorm, he sighed heavily. She wanted to be loved.

If she only knew her face was the last thing he saw before sleeping every night.

* * *

**A/N : Awwwww okay this chapter is maybe too cheesy but what the hell that's what these two are doing to me. I hope you enjoyed it :3 Killian's 'already' into Emma, more than she suspects... And well, Emma realizes this hole in her chest may not be a blessing. But obviously, it's not that easy. **

**About the 'sea spright' thing, I'll post something on Tumblr later to explain it. Basically it's a ghost of the sea who haunts ships. "_The word spright dates back to the 1500s and is an alliteration of the word 'spirit' _" The more you know... I actually hadn't heard about this before I came across a website as I was looking for pirate legends. The thing about sailing on December the 31st is also legit, I read it on a French website. I just mixed the two legends and BOOM, this was born :) Also I'd like to add that I don't hate Milah, I just wrote her this way because it fitted !**

**Lots of love to everyone, you're amazing **


	10. If stars could smile

**A/N : So glad to see you liked the previous chapter ! From what I gather, it gave you feels. Well, if everything works as planned, this one should give you loads of them. Also, you all seem intrigued by Hook's motivations... GOOD TOO *giggles evilly*  
**

**Trigger warnings : I didn't want to spoil anything but I figured it'd be wiser to warn you : _sexual assault scene_ below. First time I write one so... I hope it doesn't suck (much).**

* * *

**Chapter 10 : If stars could smile**

.

.

"So here it is ?" Emma asked, resting her elbows on the railing.

"Yes love, here it is" the pirate answered in a smile, the kind of smile that appears on your face when you find what you once lost. _The Pirate Island_.

Lost in the Nehalennia Ocean, kept away from all the maps and registers, the Pirate Island was the den of the mariners and scoundrels. From the Jolly Roger, the princess could make out the banks of this piece of earth, flooded by the after-rain light. In front of her lied the tamed part of the island, ruled by the scum and the merchants, invaded by the shops and taverns. The docks stood there proudly, waiting for the vessels to moor. Emma found this tableau cliché as hell. It wasn't very different from what she had imagined reading her stories. Very Tortuga-ish. But Hook knew this island was somewhat different.

Behind this side of the island lied a savage stretch of white sand, bordered by a tropical forest and crystal blue waters. That's where he used to go with Milah. Where they used to watch the sun fall behind the clear skyline, swallowed by the calm sea. Never had he return there every since. The Astraea beach was an undying reminder of their love, while Milah was now nothing but a hole in his heart.

They docked and left the Jolly Roger after a weak of sailing. The Captain had thrown a vest onto the princess, a large hood hiding her royal face. The Pirate Island was many things, but certainly not a safe haven. Not for her kind. And the scoundrels around would not hesitate to steal her away in order to get a reward, or worse. Hook took her hand in his, tightening his fingers around hers. The touch of his skin was eletric, and Emma felt a warm discharge spreading from their intertwined hands. How come she always felt that burn when they touched ? How come he did not feel it too ? As far as she could remember, never had se felt like this. So... in need. It was more than caprice or lust. It was an inextricable attraction, forcing her down the abyss. She wanted freedom and adventure, life at full speed. But the very reason she had not resisted her kidnapper … _was her kidnapper._

They winded through the crowd of smelly pirates, soaked in rum and even sea water. The atmosphere was sultry and suffocating. The warm wind carried away a foul scent of sweat and other delicate things Emma would rather not imagine. Among the overwhelming number of men, a few women sold their smiles and curves for a coin. Their faces were coarsely covered with talcum and here and there, beauty spots emerged from the exaggerate whiteness of their complexion. Their rosy and fleshy lips were curled into lustful smiles, eager to attract somebody to spend the night with. Emma felt strangely uncomfortable when one of them jolted her. She hung her head and rearranged her hood.

"Hey", a hooker yelled at her in a grin. "Why hiding your pretty face honey ? When it can get you so much !"

The woman's friends broke into a loud laughter, their lips opening to show yellow and spoilt teeth. Hook couldn't help but smile at Emma's sudden awkwardness. That was a first. "Love, they're joking", he whispered to her ear.

Emma chuckled at this oh so enlightening comment. "Yeah they basically advised me to become a _whore._"

The pirate looked away and sighed. "It would surely help you satisfy some urges darling", he added carelessly.

Emma frowned and opened her mouth in shock. "How dare you ?" She tried to walk away but he wouldn't let go of her hand. His fingers were still wrapped around hers, so tight that it almost hurt. "Tttt, Emma, love, think twice before doing something you'd regret. You don't know this place, you're a woman _and_ a princess. Might as well say that you're a hell of a prey for these men."

The said princess shook her hand off his grip and glared at him. "Don't even think I'm staying with you because I enjoy your company", she scowled.

Hook smiled and put his good hand on his chest, faking pain. "I'd be wounded if I actually believed that. I would maybe buy it if you hadn't try to ravish me."

Emma got her face closer to his."You're disgusting", she spat, causing the insufferable pirate to part in a grin.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night sweetheart", he let out.

Whereupon he moved his arms in the direction of a building, probably a tavern, waiting for her stubborn merchandise to follow his lead. The latter clenched her fists and obeyed him, pretty fastly despite all the reluctance in her green eyes.

* * *

She had convinced this infuriating pirate of hers (not to say a _pain in the ass_, Emma was a fucking princess after all) to let her sit by herself. Here she was, her face hidden by her large hood, leaning against the counter, caressing the wooden glass (how was this even logical) the innkeeper had just given her. Her eyes were set upon the ale, shimmering under the dim light of the candles. The clamor of the drunken sailors, the flickering flames of the candles and the frantic sound of the fiddles brought her back to Eurwen, five years ago.

A hot July night. Dresses rustling and carefree laughters filling the air. A handsome wolf with eyes as blue as forget-me-nots. The touch of his hand squeezing in the small of her back as the sound of the violins guided their pace. She didn't know why she remembered this night that well. Actually, she _didn't_. The one thing she remembered with an uncanny precision was this man, their dance, their conversation. The filthy tavern had brought her back to this ball, to him, the lone wolf she had never forgotten for some reason.

Her life was much simpler back then. It was all about hanging out with Bae, lying in the hay with him, climbing the old oak and staring at the Enchanted Forest all day long. She began to question her decision to leave the castle. What her parents had told her was too much to take in. All her life she had wondered what was wrong with her. She had tried to understand what she was surrounded by, _love_. Without success. Leaving in order to finally live. That had been her choice.

And now here she was, captive of a pirate she was attracted to, but who didn't want her. A pirate who thought she was a nympho. By all the Gods, she should write a book. _The pirate and the nympho_, great title. But the thing is, he knew **nothing**. He thought she was obsessed with sex. What a simple thought. She was obsessed with _him_, which was slightly different. She had known one man in twenty three years, she had never felt the need to sleep with anyone else because she had him. He was enough. But now, there was this mysterious sailor who made her heart beat faster (well, her _fake_ heart). No, Emma couldn't feel anything. She knew nothing about pain, happiness or love. But she knew how attraction felt like. She could feel her heart sink in her stomach, the shivers covering her body, her muscles tensing. She knew desire. And even with Bae, she had never felt it, never that intensly. What linked her to Captain Hook was something different. It was _passion_.

The young woman raised the beaker to her lips. But her hood fell in the process, revealing her golden hair. She could feel Hook's gaze on her. He was obviously sitting somewhere in the room, lurking and watching her. She could hear his "Bloody hell" from where she was. Realizing the danger of her situation, she quickly put her hood back on her head, but of course, almost everyone had noticed her. She decided to stay calm and do as nothing happened. But she hadn't taken the man sitting next to her into account. A tall, large and sweaty man, in his forties. _Well, fuck,_ she thought.

The latter turned to her, a significative smirk on the lips. "Hey doll, why hiding your face like this ?" he asked.

How original. Was it everyone's pick up line on this fucking island ? "Not to be bothered by morons like you", she spat.

But the man smiled even more. "Tough lass, I like that. You must like it rough." He paused and scanned her, probably looking for a piece of flesh to stare at. He raised his head again, more turned on than if he had _actually seen a piece of flesh_. "Good news, so do I."

Emma sighed and rolled her eyes. Hook _was_ annoying. But she liked his innuendoes much more. And at least, he was handsome. Wait, what the...

"Not very talkative woman", the man added, visibly a little bored. "Nevermind, I don't want to talk when there are much more interesting things to do..."

Emma looked down and saw his hand trying to reach for her lap. _Last straw buddy_, she thought. She seized his hand and knocked it on the counter. The man looked very surprised... and pissed. Emma took her dagger from her pocket and dived it into the wood, right next to her neighbor's hand. "You try to touch me one more fucking time, I cut it, _savvy _?" she snapped.

The man took off his hand sharply, glaring at her. "I'd better not see you again you slut. Or I swear I'll-"

"You'll _what,_ mate ?"

Hook was standing behind him, his elbow casually resting on the counter while he blew on his namesake.

"Captain Hook, I didn't know you were back", the man said.

Hook's smile or rather mocking smirk widened. "Funny considering I always come back here by this time of the year, _Smith_."

The said Smith got up and crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm sure Drinkwater will be glad to hear you're back."

"Send him my regards."

A heavy silence lingered in the air. The two men shared a tacit battle of glares. Hook took a step towards the man and broke the silence.

"I believe the lass here wanted you to leave ?" he lowly said showing Emma.

Smith clenched his teeth. "That whore threatened to cut my hand", he muttered.

The Captain opened his mouth and lowered his head, falsely amused. "That '_whore'_ is with _me_. So I shall advise you to stay away from her. It'd be a shame if you lost both your hands." The man looked confused. "Yes," Hook added, "you bother her again, she'll cut the right hand while I'll take care of the left one. Understand ?"

Smith nodded and gulped.

"Good", he said while tapping him on the shoulder. "Now get the bloody hell out of here."

With a last glare at Emma and clenched fists, the man stormed out from the tavern. The princess stood up violently and planted herself in front of Hook. She angrily crossed her arms over her chest and frowned.

"You're welcome", the pirate scolded with a shudder.

"I handled this !" Emma yelled.

"Gods Emma don't make a scene here", he mumbled rubbing his forehead.

The young woman chuckled like a maniac. "I am so fucking sick of this", she let out.

Hook frowned. She couldn't be serious. "Sick of this ?" he repeated. "_You_ were the one thrilled at the idea of getting abducted by a pirate. You _chose_ this princess !"

Emma's cheeks flushed and her eyes flashed. "I did _not_ choose _this _!" she cried. Her scream caused all the customers to hush. They were all looking at them, the pirate and the princess, caught up in a fight that had to come eventually. But Emma didn't care. She moved forward him and her icy eyes peered into his. "Why would I ever _choose_ **you** ?" she lowly muttered, making each word stand out. She stormed her way out of the tavern, leaving an angry and puzzled pirate behind her.

The disgust the latter had seen in her eyes had hurt him more than he would admit. He gathered his wits and scanned the room. "Women", he carelessly said shaking his head. "And a round of rum for everyone !" The sailors raised their glasses to this announce and the conversations started again. _Don't make anything stupid Emma_, Hook thought, sitting at the counter.

* * *

"Fucking Killian Jones", Emma muttered as she leant against the wall of the tavern. She had taken shelter at the back of the bloody establishment, desperate for fresh air to calm her nerves. She rested her head against the cold wall and closed her eyes. Soon, the sun would set, and she could feel its heat diminishing on her face. But the air was still warm and suffocating. _When it must freeze in Elanoriah_, she thought. What has she done ?

The sound of footsteps broke her out of her thoughts. She startled and shot her eyes open to find out an unwelcome surprise : _Smith_.

"We didn't finish our conversation earlier", he said hoarsely.

Emma gulped, trying to reach for her dagger, when she remembered she had left it on the counter, too busy being angry at Jones.

The man rested a hand on the wall, right next to her ear. A lustful smirk curled his lips. "I said something like _'I'd better not see you again slut_', but your one-handed pirate didn't let me finish." He lifted her chin with his other hand, and Emma had no choice but to peer her eyes into his. The thing she saw in them caused her to tremble like a leaf.

Smith leant a little more and pressed his body against hers. "I meant that if I were to see you again, I'd make you regret your insolence. I always take what I want you _hooker_, and right now what I want is hidden beneath those unfitting clothes and between those legs..."

His fingers left her chin to go down her neck, until they reached the collar of her coat. Emma crushed his foot with hers in an attempt to run, but despite a deep mutter, the man pressed her closer against the wall, his other hand squeezing her neck. "If wouldn't move if I were you honey." He loosened his grip to cover her mouth with his large hand and unbuttoned her coat with his knife. The princess tried to bite him, diving her teeth into his sweaty flesh until she felt the taste of copper on her mumbled and raised the knife to her cheek. "I warned you." With these words, he brushed the sharp blade against her flesh, causing her to cry out under his hand. A red cut appeared and drops of red flowed from the thin line.

With a sharp motion, he sliced her shirt open, revealing her bare chest. Emma closed her eyes, ashamed, terrified, but above all, _angry_. She wriggled as much as she could, desperately trying to thwart his moves, but without success. Hot tears began to fill her eyes as she felt his filthy mouth on her breasts. He stopped quickly, too eager to take the next step. She heard him untiying his belt. She could hear her heart beating in her temples and ringing in her head, an ironic reminder of the danger of the situation.

She restlessly fidgeted as much as she could, but the man's grip was too tight and her wrist was crushed under his strength. He kept his hand on her mouth, ignoring her moves, and slipped his other one under her dress. Emma felt his hand diving into her undergarments and ripping them off. The beating of her heart grew louder and louder, covering the deafening sound of her erratic breathing. His hand left the bottom of her dress and positioned itself under her thigh, grasping it so as to lift her. The man growled and moaned, a greedy and satisfactory smile distorting his face. The tip of his lentgth brushed her entrance, and she wished she could fall dead on the cold ground or faint. But her body was much stronger than she was. "Who's the smartest now, pretty slut ?" he said as he was about to initiate a thrust.

"Certainly not you", she heard. Suddenly, she felt the body of Smith tense and incomprehension filled his eyes. Soon, his grip loosened and his knees trembled. His hand fell from her mouth and she felt herself falling when an arm tightly wrapped her waist. _Hook_. She couldn't even look at him. She was in shock, staring at the man who had just assaulted her and who lay dead on the ground, face down, a large stain of red in the middle of his back.

She heard a distance voice. "Emma ?" A distant and familiar voice. "Emma, look at me, are you all right ?" Concern filled this distant and familiar voice, and more tears ran down her cheeks, washing away the blood. She crossed her arms over her chest, raised her eyes and faced him. His eyebrows were furrowed in a genuine worry. He took off his coat and gently put it on her shoulders. Then, he brushed her cut as she winced. "Emma, did he..." She shook her head negatively. "You arrived right on time", she managed to say in a cracked voice. Hook heaved a sigh of relief and took her by the shoulders. "We need to get out of here love, before Drinkwater finds out one on his sailor's dead." Emma nodded and tightened the coat with her trembling hands. With a last glance at the body, she followed the Captain and cursed herself for being so weak.

_So much for being heartless_.

* * *

"Where are you taking me ?" Emma asked.

Hook flashed her a soft smile. "Somewhere nice, I promise. We should be arriving shortly."

The sun was slowly disappearing under the skyline as Emma and Hook walked down a coast path. His right arm was still wrapped around her waist, as if he were afraid she'd crumble down. She hated herself for what happened earlier. She was good with a sword or a bow, but so powerless when it came to close combat. She should've defended herself. She should've killed him as easily as she had killed Duncan. What was the point of being deprived of emotions if she couldn't even help bursting into tears and feel... weakness ? Shame ?

A sudden flash of light jolted her from her painful remembrance. In front of her lied an unfathomable stretch of white sand, framed by an undulating forest of emerald and a translucent water, shimmering under the dying sun. Her mouth dropped at the astonishing beauty of the beach, savage and wild and pure, sheltered from the mayhem of the sailors and the scent of rum. A gentle breeze caressed her cheeks and carried away the fragrance of exotic flowers and salt.

Hook smiled when he noticed the amazement on Emma's face. "Princess Emma Elea of Eurwen, meet the Aestrea beach, the beach of the stars."

They stood here for a moment before making their way to the said beach. Once there, Hook sat on the sand, right in front of the sea, and Emma did the same. The sun was now practically swallowed by the calm Nehalennia ocean, and a few shining spots had already appeared in the ochre sky. Emma's eyes were lost in the incandescent horizon. Hook looked at the cut on her left cheek and fished his flask of rum in his pocket. Emma noticed it and shrugged. "I'm fine Hook", she said.

The pirate tilted his head to the side. "No, you're not. No one would be after what happened. Let me help you, that's the least I can do." The princess accepted, and turned her look back to the ocean. The pirate took a cloth (he had kept a clean one from the inn) and poured some alcohol on it. Then, softly, he dabbed it on her wound. Emma winced a little, but didn't unlock her eyes from the horizon.

"I'm so sorry Emma", Hook whispered, tucking the cloth in his pocket.

The young woman looked at him, surprised. "For what ?"

"For letting you go alone ealier. If I had followed you instead of sitting at the counter, Smith wouldn't have touched you." He clenched his fist and dug his hook in the sand. Another emotion Emma had not idea of. _Guilt_. He felt guilty. She had never experienced this feeling, but she knew what it came with. _Care_. He cared about her. Lots of questions churned around in her head, for instance why he didn't want her and cared about her at the same time. She wanted to scream at him, to ask him these questions, but she didn't say a word. "Thank you, _Killian"_, she let out instead. The pirate frowned in surprise, but he seemed touched by the sound of his name from her mouth.

The sun was now nothing but a memory, and velvet had replaced the fire. Billions of stars had invaded the night sky, and suddenly, Hook was lying on the sand. "What are you doing ?" Emma asked with a sigh.

"Lying down", Hook replied with a faked confusion. "Better to see the stars." Emma frowned. "Care to join me ?" he added with a mischievous smile.

The princess smiled at this. Would he believe him if she said she had missed his flirting ? Probably. She lay down next to him, taking great care of keeping the coat on her chest. "Love, it's nothing I haven't seen", Hook said. But Emma glared at him and tried to sit up when he held her back. "Sorry love, that wasn't the smartest thing to say. I just wanted to lighten the atmosphere. My apologies your highness." She lay down again with annoyance._ Once a jerk, forever a jerk_, she thought.

After a minute of silence, Hook pointed a star cluster. "Do you know this constellation ?" he asked. Emma shook her head. "No, I only know the Northern ones." The pirate looked satisfied to know something she didn't. _Enjoy it while you can,_ Emma thought.

"This is the Cygnus constellation." He looked at her and smirked. "The constellation of the swan." Seeing he had caught her attention, he fell back into his original position and started his story. "There are plenty of legends associated with this constellation. The strangest thing is that she's common to all the worlds out there, or at least the ones I've been to, and it's the only one. An earthling legend says that in ancient times, Cygnus, son of the King of the Ligurians, was in love with Phaeton, who rode the horses of the Sun. One day, the latter was crushed as he was riding them, and Cygnus, desperate, looked for his body in the river Eridan, in which he fell. Touched by this, Zeus took pity on him, changed him into a swan and placed him among the stars."

Emma listened to him carefully, memories of her mother's stories taking over her. Hook laced his hand with her, hesitantly, still gazing at the sky. She allowed his touch, welcoming his heat. She motioned towards him and put her head onto his chest. Surprised at first, he finally wrapped her with his arm and rearranged her coat with his hook.

They remained like this, closely entwined, the eyes locked on the shining diamonds scattered in this neverending stretch of black. Soon, Emma allowed herself to close her eyes, lulled by the beat of the pirate's heart. Hook noticed how her breath slowed down until it became even, quiet. She had fallen asleep in his arms. Memories of another life overwhelmed and he saw himself with Milah, in the exact same position, in the exact same place. But Emma wasn't Milah. He knew it, and so did the stars above him.

He softly kissed her hairline before resting his head on the warm sand, the ghost of a smile still lingering on his lips as he gave himself to sleep. "If stars could smile..." he murmured before falling asleep.

And at this very moment, on another island, lost in the sky after the second star to the right, shining more than ever at this sight, stars _were_ smiling.

* * *

**A/N : CHEESY FEELS SO RIGHT OKAY, DON'T JUDGE ME. I got carried away. I know the assault scene is cliché and very 'damsel in distress', but I wanted to make a parallel with the way Emma saved Hook in ch7. And it seems like it triggered something in her... So much _for being heartless_. About the legend of Cygnus, it's legit, I didn't make it up. But of course there are different legends and versions, I'll make a post on Tumblr, as usual !  
**

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter ! Thanks for everything :)**


	11. Truth

**A/N : And from now on, angst you shall read... Sorry, not sorry. **

* * *

**Chapter 11 : Truth**

.

.

_2 months later_

_._

Emma wandered in the rainforest, desperately looking for coolness. It was awfully hot for a February day, and the air was damp and suffocating. She couldn't help but be amazed by the astounding beauty of this side of the island, wild and dense and colored. Pink and yellow orchids were mixed to the tangled boughs of the immense trees, reaching for a sky somehow hidden by a canopy of green leaves. Silence was a strange notion here, for birds and insects played a vivid music night and day. The princess was very careful as to where she walked, for she remembered the bite of a venemous snake a couple of months ago and it had _not_ been pleasant to see (nor to experience). "Where's this damn lagoon ?" she mumbled, elbowing her way through the thick vegetation.

Finally, she heard a delicate flow of water. A few more steps and she'd be able to dive into the fresh water. She motioned a little faster in the direction of the noise. She was almost there when she saw leather clothes scattered on the ground... along with a hook. _So here you are_, she thought. Emma spread the leaves before her and made her way to the edge of the lagoon. Indeed, here he was, with his back turned and in all his glorious nudity, slowly disappearing in the clear water. The light danced on his prominent muscles and drops of water draw their curves. He ran his hand through his hair, visibly enjoying his bath.

"So, Captain, how's the water ?" Emma asked loudly, a cheerful smirk curling her lips.

Hook startled and when his eyes fell on her, he smiled. "It'd be better if you were in with me darling."

_She didn't doubt that_. She started to take off her clothes when she noticed the pirate's surpise.

"I didn't mean it like that", he added, trying to hold back a smirk.

"Of course you_ did _mean it like that", Emma answered with a grin. She took off the last piece of fabric that covered her body and casually threw it on the ground. "_It's nothing you haven't seen_".

She saw Hook gulp and was much surprised by the sudden seriousness on his face. Was he afraid of losing control in front of her naked body ?_ She liked to think so. _

The shape of her body stood out in the flash of the sunbeams. The gilded flow seemed to glisten on her skin, down the line of her hips and along her curves. She slowly entered the water, her slender legs gradually disappearing into the transluscent liquid, and the delight of its freshness echoed on her features. Soon, the water arrived right under her breasts, underlining her waist. Hook felt a fire growing inside of him at the sight of his temptress, splendid nymph in the midst of an uncanny beautiful lagoon. It all looked like a dream, a _fantasy_.

Suddenly, he saw a mishievous glitter in her eyes, and without warning, she dived into the water. She came back to the surface a few inches in front of him, her golden hair half covering her breasts. She noticed all the efforts it took him to keep his eyes off of her body. They were locked on hers, and she could see the desire in this deep blue.

"I've dealt with sirens before love", he said in a hoarse whisper that exhaled lust. "You'll need to do much more if you want to drag me into your nets."

Emma shook her head. "Who says that's what I'm doing ?" she susurrated. "I'm just enjoying the freshness of the lagoon." She flashed him a smile and fell on her back, her eyes closed, letting herself drift away from a dazed pirate.

The latter smiled to himself as he gazed at the dance of the sunrays on her silky body, drinking in her every move. How he wanted to kiss every inch of it, devouring her till she begged him to stop. How he wanted to let his hand walk along her belly and drawing on her chest. How he wanted to crush his lips on hers and dive into the water, leaving everything behind in an aquatic swirl.

But he knew he couldn't. It was not the time.

Emma's voice broke him from his fantasy. "How long are we supposed to stay here ?" she asked.

"As long as you wish love, the lagoon is ours."

She stood up straight and tilted her head to the side. "Killian, that's _not _what I meant and you know it. How long are we supposed to stay _here_ ?"

Hook swam towards her and planted himself in front of his beautiful torturer. "We'll wait for spring to return in Elanoriah. We'll be leaving by April."

"But how can you be so sure they won't find us before ? Four months on the run ? Really ? What makes you so self-confident ?"

The pirate narrowed his eyes. "The island _doesn't exist _Emma. It's cloaked by a magical spell which makes it invisible, hence its absence from the maps and registers. I bet your parent's flotilla is very competent, but nobody can find this island, except those who already know where it is."

"But how can this island be invisible anyway ?" she inquired. "I mean, pirates don't do magic do they ? Or was the island invisible before they settled down ? But if so, how did they find it in the first place ?"

"Easy now", answered Hook. "I didn't know you were so interested in my kind princess !" Emma stopped swimming and stood up straight, not amused, and splashed him. "Oh you did want an answer, fair enough", the pirate answered between two laughters. "In ancient times, a princess, Andromeda, was chained to a rock as a sacrifice to a monster for her mother's pride. She was saved from death by a pirate who took her away and they fell in love, but Andromeda knew the Gods would be furious to be deprived from their sacrifice. So she told the pirate to remain on the island, and for him to be safe, she cast a protection spell that hid the island from everyone, Gods included. The power of her love combined to her magic are the reason why after all these centuries, the spell still works. And eversince, this island became the den of the fellons and the pirates who must hide from the authorities." (1)

Emma listened carefully, captivated by the pirate's knowledge. And the fact that, once again, _love_ was behind this.

"How can love be the reason of everything", she said to herself while sinking into the water until the level reached her neck.

"Aye, I'm afraid no one can escape its nets."

Emma sank into the water, closing her eyes. The strange and muffled sound of the flow couldn't quiet this nagging thought of hers.

_**I**__ can_.

* * *

The princess and the pirate spent two more months on the Pirate Island, cautiously remaining on its savage part. They had chosen to live in an abandoned fisher cabin by the beach, nestled in the abundant vegetation. They spent their days swimming and exploring the surroundings, and Emma seemed pleased by this way of life. She liked nothing more than the evenings and mornings, staring at the morning sun in Hook's arms. She didn't exactly know how to describe their relationship. They never kissed, never did anything more than holding hands. And yet, she had noticed how this simple thing made the pirate... happy. He seemed more lively, more mischievous than ever. His innuendoes were countless, and he made jokes all day long, caressing her temples and pinching her nose as if she were a child. Yes, it was all very confusing. But she truly liked it. Well, she could not _like_ it. But it felt good. She was living the life she had always wanted, among the scents of vanilla, salt, orchids and leather.

And yet, she knew it had to end eventually.

By early April, Hook decided it was time to leave. Spring had returned, the weather in Elanoriah would be gentle, and after more than four months of absence, he bet the King and Queen would be ready to give him _anything_ to get their daughter back. He had received many messages concerning the situation : the Royal flotilla had combed the four oceans in order to retrieve the lost princess, but the Pirate Island being off the maps and sheltered by a magic spell, their quest couldn't help but fail.

"Here's hoping the winds will be in our favor", he said to himself. For the Royal vessels were surely still patroling on the seas, and the journey would take them a whole week, five days if the winds were strong enough.

They left the Aestrea Beach the same day. Emma had put her hood back on. Even though her scene at the tavern had happened four months ago, Hook knew the sailors wouldn't have forgotten the hot blonde yelling at Captain Hook. They made their way to the Jolly Roger -which he had kept visiting everyday, of course - more majestic than ever in the sunbeams of this hot day. Many sailors had gathered on the docks, ready to leave the island after their winter break. Emma and Hook elbowed their way through the suffocating crowd. The game consisted in _not_ shoving anyone important or touchy. Because yes, pirates were such drama queens. Why would they wear eyeliner if they weren't ?

All of a sudden, Emma pushed a man stronger than she had intended to. "I'm so sorry S-" she let out. Hook glared at her. He had told her to _never_ apologize to a pirate, unless he asked for it. Understanding her mistake, she tried to move forward but it was too late, the man had grasped her forearm. "Where are you going my lovely ?" he asked, gently removing her hood from her face. Emma swallowed. "I... I'm leaving", she said with determination (at least, she tried).

The pirate's lips curled into a grin. "Oh, you are now ? What a pity." He idly played with one of her locks, removing it behind her shoulder. Emma remained still, and as emotionless as possible. _What a joke._

"Drinkwater !" Hook had moved forward and put his hypocrite smile on.

"Hook", said the aforementioned Drinkwater, "I hadn't seen you in a while. This beauty's with you ?"

Hook smiled apologetically. "Aye, I'm afraid she is."

Drinkwater turned his look to the blonde. His eyes roamed hers, and suddenly, a smile of comprehension replaced his grin. Something had dawned on him. "Is she who I think she is ? No lies Captain, you know how I feel about those."

Hook gulped and clenched his fist, visibly not too keen on talking about this. Emma's eyes left Drinkwater, who was still gripping her arm, to focus on Hook's expression. Fear marred his face, and his blue eyes were filled with resignation. "Yes", he finally let out dryly, "she is."

The other pirate's lips formed a significative "o" and he seemed pleased. "And does she know it ?"

"No", Hook answered, unnerved.

"You killed Smith Hook." The pirate opened his mouth to explain himself, but Drinkwater rose his hand to hush him. "Then the code wants you to owe me favor."

"Whatever Drinkwater wishes", Hook let out with a false smile.

"Tell her the truth."

Drinkwater's words had unsettled him and rang in his head. Telling her the truth, now ? No he couldn't, she wouldn't understand, it was not the plan...

"I'm afraid I-" he began.

"Swear on the code you'll tell her the truth before you reach Elanoriah, or I shall keep her for myself, and you know it would be a real _problem_ for you, to say the least."

Hook sighed and gritted : "Deal."

Drinkwater smiled and finally let go of Emma's arm. The latter was totally lost and confused. She was obviously part of some kind of greater plan. What was Hook hiding to her ? The pirate took her by the waist and prompted her to get a move. As they were leaving, she heard the disturbing laughter of the pirate rising in the air, and a bad feeling invaded her.

* * *

Somehow, they ended up aboard the Jolly Roger. Emma hadn't paid much attention to the few minutes of walk. Her mind was whirring in too many thoughts and questions. Hook hadn't looked at her the whole time, and now he was just reaching the helm without paying attention to her. He was clearly _avoiding_ her. But she would not let him. He _owed_ her an explanation.

She followed him and a second later, she was standing rooted right behind him.

"What the hell was that Hook ?"

A dark expression appeared under his black lashes. "So back to Hook uh ?" he scowled.

"You are deliberately hiding something from me. So yes, it'll be Hook as long as you'll be lying to me."

"I've never lied to you Emma."

"_Lie_", she snapped.

He sighed in exasperation and his eyes pierced hers. "I am _not_ talking about this now."

"And when will you ? You heard that psycho down there, you promised him to tell-"

"I didn't make any promise !" he yelled, a dangerous flame dancing in his icy pupils.

"That's all you have to say ?" Emma said, narrowing her eyes. "You are a fucking..."

"A fucking _what_, your highness ?" he growled.

Emma moved closer to him and peered her eyes into his, mercilessly. "_Coward_."

Hook's heart sank at the word. Her disgusted look lingered on his face a little more, and then she left without adding anything, leaving him with his wrath and despair. She knew the impact this word had had on him. She knew because, a night during these four months, he had told her everything about Milah's death, thus everything about the coward who had taken her life. He had told her how much he loathed cowardice, that he would never run.

And yet, that's what he had been doing with the stubborn princess, and what he kept doing now.

Smee had popped out behind him. He had visibly heard all of the conversation. He looked fearful but also curious. "I can't tell her now." Hook said lowly to his mate. "She wouldn't understand. She would hate me. And all I've done so far... It'd be for _nothing_."

Smee approached him, compassion in his little eyes. "If you don't tell her, it'll be for nothing anyway, because she won't forgive you your silence. Plus, Drinkwater will know."

Smee was right. Drinkwater was a privateer, he had an important web of contacts both in the piracy and the royal marines. _And among the diverse sea creatures_. He would know. And he would thwart them for sure. He had to tell her. Just not now. They still had at least five days of crossing. It was too early.

But he hoped it wasn't already too late.

* * *

Four days later, Hook joined Emma in his cabin, a platter in his hand. They hadn't talked in four days, they hadn't even been in the same room. He had slept among his crew and left her his quarters. He knew better than being around a pissed Emma. But it was more than time to have a talk. He cautiously made his way to her, showing her the platter full of food.

"Not hungry", she mumbled, pulling her knees under her chin.

"Emma, don't be stupid, you have to eat", he said to her softly.

"Just because you **have **to do something doesn't mean you'll actually _do it_", she snapped.

_I see_, Hook thought. He sighed and put the platter on his desk and sat beside her. She avoided his supplicant look and locked her eyes on the wall.

"Emma, I came to tell you everything. But I need to know that you'll try to understand me."

"We'll see. Just spill it."

He sighed and bit his lip. This was not going to be easy. "I... I told you I wanted a ransom. But that's not why I abducted you." He paused and dived his eyes into hers. "Actually, I haven't even asked for one."

Emma's eyes narrowed in confusion. "I don't understand, why did you abduct me then...?"

His heart started to pound harder and faster in his chest, the words coming together in all the possible ways in his head. There was nos right way to say it. He took a deep breath and the words just came out, with pain and fear. "I was hired by the Evil Queen. I was supposed to bring your heart to her so that she could crush it. She wants you dead and she knew _**I **_could get to you."

A heavy silence weighed over them. Hook was nervously waiting for something, anything, a word from her. But all he could see was her staring at him in disbelief, her eyes darkening, her mouth half open. "You _betrayed _me ?" she let out, her voice cracking.

"Emma there's more to the story I swea-"

"I don't care about the rest Hook !" she yelled. She felt her blood boiling in her veins, and she didn't know where it came from, or what it was supposed to mean. "You accepted to _rip my heart out_ and deliver it to the Evil Queen _so that she could __**kill **__me _? So you were just _playing _with me the whole time ?"

"Emma please..."

She stood up straight, thunderstruck and angry. "I don't want to hear anything more Hook. Once we're arrived at Elanoriah, I'll leave and I will never see you again. You try to hold me back or you try to find me, I will have you hung high, understood ?"

Hook looked to the floor and nodded. He stood and made his way to the door. "We'll be arriving shortly, tomorrow morning I think", he said opening the door. "One more night and you'll never see me again princess."

Whereupon, he left.

* * *

He watched her pack her things without a smile and motion to the gangplank. She didn't look at him, she didn't say a word. She had told him everything she wanted to the night before, there was nothing more to add. Their paths would separate in a few minutes. Then, it'd be over. No more Killian Jones. Ever.

She climbed down the gangplank without a glance at him and drowned into the sea of sailors, eager to vanish and be out of his sight for good.

On the Jolly Roger, firmly holding the railing, Captain Hook stood, numb. "Farewell princess..." he whispered as she disappeared in the crowd of Niamh Bay.

* * *

Emma felt her heart racing in her chest. Hot tears were burning her eyes, and she couldn't seem to blink them back. It was like her body functioned without her consent, and she felt this ache spreading into her entire being. She stopped walking, suddenly unable to breathe, and leant against a tree. Something cut her breathing and she gasped for air. A raw burn invaded the pit of her stomach and she put her hand on it, desperately trying to ease the pain and untie the sharp knot that had formed there. The pressure in her chest hardened and she let out a cry of pain, feeling weak and sore and desperate. Tears flowed down her cheeks and she felt their burn unbearable. This was all unbearable. This nagging sorrow, this sick feeling was unbearable.

_Feeling_.

She _**felt**_.

_Why the hell am I feeling ? Is this pain ?_ She thought, trying to calm down and taking deep breaths. A crack of bough caused her to startle.

"Welcome to the fold dearie."

She didn't need to turn her back. She knew who stood behind her, even though she didn't remember their first meeting.

Him. _Rumplestiltskin_.

* * *

**A/N : CLIFFHANGEEEEEEER AAAARGH LBSLBJSBLBGL shit is going dooooooown ! Did you see that coming ? Poor Killian all his plans, everything just... gone. Fucking Drinkwater (dude buy yourself a better moniker). And about the legend I blended the legend of Andromeda with things from my imagination. _Voilà_. I hope you liked this chapter ! Writing the beginning was fun ahaha**

**A review for your thoughts ?**


	12. Pain's damage

**A/N : First off, who said Emma got her heart back in the last chapter...? ;) And then, this is the chapter I was talking about on tumblr last week, telling that it hurt... You might hate me in the end. Shorter, but feels. **

**Listen to 'All is lost' and 'Listen to the Wind' (soundtrack for the movie '_The New World_'). That's what I did while writing and it makes it all even more painful. You're welcome.**

* * *

**Chapter 12 : Pain's damage**

.

.

"_Welcome to the fold dearie."_

_She didn't need to turn her back. She knew who stood behind her, even though she didn't remember their first meeting._

_Him. Rumplestiltskin._

She turned around slowly, taking care of wiping her tears away. The Dark One was now standing right in front of her, a bloodcurling grin distorting his inky-black lips. "Sorry Princess, I didn't properly introduce myself, I-"

"I know who you are", she coldly reply.

The creature smiled and furrowed his uncanny eyebrows in surprise. "You do ?"

"I've heard enough stories about you, _Rumplestiltskin_", Emma let out with scorn. She paused a little while, scanning him, roaming his piercing eyes. "And I also know what you did to me."

Rumplestiltskin titled his head to the side, bringing his hand to his chin. "Oh... _That._.." he casually let out, "it was what, twenty three years ago ?"

"You want a candy for remembering it so well ?" Emma scoffed.

The Dark One parted in a dull laughter. "Careful dearie, you don't know who you're _dealing_ with. Plus you don't seem quite in the state to fight back."

Emma's eyes widened. Of course he had noticed her red eyes and the dampness on her cheeks. "I am just fine", she answered with determination.

"No you are not." The imp took a few steps towards her, slowly setting his foot on the ground. "You are _feeling",_ he stated, "and you're experiencing pain what's more. Did your blue-eyed pirate deceived you sweetheart ? Did he hurt that precious heart of yours ?" He paused and mimicked surprise. "Oh, wait, _you don't have one_."

The princess clenched her fist, anger starting to rush through her veins. "Then why am I hurting so bad ?" she gritted.

"None of my business."

Emma felt like her blood was going to burst out of her veins. "It _is _your fucking business !" she yelled. "_You _ripped my heart out !"

Rumplestiltskin remained calm and smiling. "And I haven't seen it ever since. Anyway, that's not why I came to you today."

"What do you want ?"

"What your parents promised my twenty three years ago." He paused and peered at her, twinkles of excitement in his eyes causing shivers to run through her body. "A _favor._"

The word rang in her ears and echoed the long-forgotten stories her servant Carys used to tell her. Imps who ripped hearts out and made deals with their victims. She was a victim. And the sole idea made her feel sick."I didn't make any promise so-"

"Oh no no no, don't try to elude this dearie." He shook his head negatively. "I am a specialist in contracts you see, I even taught that sea witch who wanted a mermaid's voice. Your parents signed the parchment, so you _do_ owe me a favor."

Emma crossed her arms over her chest, leaning back against the tree. "I'm all ears."

"Good." The imp took a few steps towards her, and a bad feeling started to make its way in the pit of her stomach. "You, my dear little heartless princess, are going to go back to the Jolly Roger."

The demand caused her to jerk out from the trunk. "What ? How do you..."

"Spare me princess, I know that you know. There's nothing I don't know." He paused and sighed. "Where was I. Oh, right. You're going back to the Jolly Roger, pretexting you forgot something. Once there in front of the Captain, you'll tell him that he disgusts you, that he's the reason why Milah died, that he doesn't deserve to be happy, and..." Another smile filled the silence he had caused. "And that you don't love him, never have, never will. It's nothing but the truth after all."

The princess bit her cheeks. She didn't know why her heart clenched with every word this devil pronounced, why the idea of hurting Killian seemed to cut her breathing. "Why do you want me to do that ?" she asked.

Rumplestiltskin gritted his teeth. "Because I want him to feel the pain you're experiencing, even worse. A million times worse. For what he did to me. And because he believes that he can destroy me. I want him to suffer and die alone, just like he deserves to."

"Why would my words hurt him ?" Emma inquired, confused.

"Oh, right, the no heart thing", the imp replied with the ghost of a smile. "The poor soul's in love with you princess. So trust me, it _will _hurt him."

Emma's jaw dropped and she frowned in surprise. The words carried her heart to her stomach, dropping it there heavily, and air was once more running out. Killian Jones, Captain Hook, in love with her ? When he had avoided her touch, refused her advances ? This was impossible. He couldn't feel love for her. He couldn't be lost into her, worshipping her, cherishing her more than his own life. Rumplestiltskin was mistaken. Killian was not in love with Emma._ Killian's not in love with me_, she thought. But the more she repeated his sentence, the more if felt wrong and unreal. Deep down, she knew he was. Every parcel of her body told her so, her brain whispered to her the words her heart couldn't : _Killian Jones is in love with you_. And like a chant, this sentence rang in her head, and even though she wanted to understand what it meant, she couldn't. She just knew it made her feel something. Not love. But something. Like a crack in the armor. She was not indifferent. It didn't make her feel any different towards Killian. But she knew it _meant _something.

"What if I refuse ?" she suddenly asked.

"You won't."

Emma's eyes narrowed. "What makes you so sure ?"

A new spark appeared in the imp's eyes. It was a flame, an ominous flame, a flame of pity and scorn. "Because you won't have the _heart_ to refuse."

* * *

The waves rocking the ship with strength and care. The sunrays scorching the wood of the deck. The sails flowing in the warm wind of spring. The seagulls filling the air with their screams. It was all so distant, so unreal, so unimportant. The world could crumble down, the sea could run dry, the sun could burst into a million pieces, Killian Jones wouldn't give a damn. They could come and arrest him, hung him high, skin him, quarter him, give his heart to the wolves and cut his limbs, it would still be less painful than the nagging pain flowing in his veins and poisoning his entire being. She was gone.

_She was gone._

These three words seemed to pump in his chest with every heartbeat, as if his very heart chanted the refrain of the ugly truth, the greatest failure of his life, the end of all hope.

_Emma was gone._

The Captain stood on the upper deck, his hook clawing the wood of the railing, his eyes locked on the relentless motion of the tide. The sharp ache that had nestled in his soul had vanished. Nothing remained, nothing but the certitude of the nothingness. He didn't feel anything. His mind was elsewhere, lost in the _what-could-have-been,_ in an ocean of possibilities, of dreams he had cherished. Vivid images of the young woman churned around in his head. The gold of her hair limp in the clear water of the lagoon, the green of her eyes piercing his heart and diving into his soul, the red of her fleshy lips calling for his touch. What could have been. What could've been if he hadn't been that stupid, if he had done something sooner instead of waiting. Now it was too late.

_Emma was gone._

And he couldn't help but hate himself for the mere sight of the clouds gathering in her twinkling eyes as he told her he was hired to _kill_ her. Clouds he had never seen in her. Clouds that were now here because of him. Everything he touched seemed to be doomed to sorrow and ache. Milah had paid the price of his love. And Emma... Gods, he hadn't even touched her. How fucking ironic. He had waited, waited and waited, waited for the right moment to tell her everything, to finally have it all. But now, she was gone knowing a half truth. There was so much more to the story. He wished she'd come back so that he could explain, but in the meantime, he was glad she was away from him.

For you can't hurt if you don't touch.

What a simple tought. He had never ached that much than ever since the gentle face of princess Emma had vanished into the docks.

The waves brought the name of Emma with their flow. The wind carried its letters. The sun flooded him with her smile.

Emma was gone.

But she was everywhere.

* * *

"You can do this. Dammit Emma, you don't even care, so why couldn't you do this ? It's nothing but the truth."

The princess was making her way back to the docks, her eyes still red and her cheeks still damp. She didn't have a choice. She had to honor this favor, even though she hadn't agree to it. One more thing to hold against her parents.

_Wait, is that grudge ?_ She wondered in awe. All these emotions overwhelming her while her heart was still out of her chest... How was that even possible ? Was this a crack in the prophecy ? But... how ?

She kept going, her feet carrying her while her brain was invaded by billions of questions. Like what was this strange and ominous feeling in the pit of her stomach, the hunch telling her this was wrong, the... fear of doing what she _had _to do. Yes, she was afraid. How could she feel all of these emotions while she didn't care about this pirate ? She was sure of this. She didn't feel any love. Just... ache and suffering. As if her emotions unlocked gradually. Was this supposed to make her want her heart back ? Because it didn't. She recalled the destiny of Deirdre and Naoise who ended up dead. Yeah love was definitely very healthy and happy. At the moment, she was thrilled -well, as thrilled as her state allowed- to be deprived from emotions. She didn't want to feel love. It had to bring even more pain, and she was certain she couldn't handle it.

The sight of the Jolly Roger broke her from her thoughts.

"Let's get done with this", she sighed before cutting through the crowd of the docks.

* * *

He needed to get a grip. To unlock his eyes from the horizon and to sail away from this bloody kingdom. Maybe use the last beans to go to another world and never look back. But what for ? He was doomed. Emma was his only hope. There was no point in running. His destiny was sealed.

"Captain..." a man's voice asked.

Killian growled and glared at the man. "What ?" he scowled.

"The... hum... The princess... She's coming back."

The pirate's eyes widened and he sighed. "If you're fucking kidding me I'll rip your throat with my hook, you know that ?"

"I... I know but... I'm not Captain. She's here."

He felt his heart drop. What the hell was she doing ? He rushed to the railing and scanned the docks. In the midst of the dull scum, he saw her golden hair peeking out from her hood, capturing the sunrays in its locks. His heart sank, a million words dying on his lips. She was there. She had come back. But why ?

His heart clenched when he saw her setting foot on the deck of the Jolly Roger, her eyes somewhat different. She had cried. And the mere thought of tears rolling down her cheeks made him hurt. A glimmer of hope appeared in his eyes, and the beginning of a smile broke through his concerned face.

"You came back", he stated as casually as possible when she arrived before him.

"I forgot something", she cooly replied.

Killian's eyes narrowed. She acted weirdly, and a strange feeling settled down into the pit of his stomach. She took a few more steps towards him, and the coolness of her look crystallized his blood. "Came back to yell at me ? You shouldn't have bothered", he deadpanned.

"Who do you think you are Hook ? You toyed with me the whole time, you lied to me. I've been lied to my whole life, I don't need a pirate adding to the count."

Killian gulped. "Would you believe me if I told you I had no choice ?" he inquired in a soft voice.

"No. You had a choice. You chose to be a _coward_, that's all."

"I am_ not_ a coward", the pirate growled, anger slowly invading his soul.

"Then how do you call hiding the truth from a woman you spent 4 months with ?" Emma paused and peered her eyes into his as if was trying to avoid her gaze. "You are so pathetic. You act like a dreadful pirate when you're terrified."

"And what makes you think that princess ? Pray tell."

"You're afraid of failing." A grin curled Emma's lips. "But truth be told, you're already a failure Captain. You failed in avenging Milah, you failed doing whatever the hell you wanted to do with me. You're nothing. You're _alone._ The only person who cared about you is dead because of your pride. Everything you touch ends up harmed. You tell yourself that you're better off on your own so that nobody gets hurt. But who could possibly want you anyway ? Certainly not me."

His blood pumped fastly in his temples. His breath grew erratic. Wrath marred his face. He was furious. "_Certainly not you _?" he repeated with scorn. "You were the one whoring around almost** begging** me to _fuck_ you !"

Emma shook her head. "It didn't mean I wanted _you_, only that I wanted _this_, remember ?" She took a few steps towards him, her lips parting in a grimace. "You _disgust_ me Hook. I _hate_ you. There's not an ounce of love in my heart for you. You're all I loathe. I could _never_ love you."

Every word she pronounced pierced his heart, burnt underneath his skin. But he didn't feel any sadness. Just an uncontrollable self-loathing, a fury that ran in his veins. "You're a heartless monster", he mumbled with bitterness.

Emma swallowed and fidgeted her dress, almost nervously. This disappointment in his his blue eyes made her heart clench. She wanted to tell him the truth, she wanted it so badly. She wanted to tell him she _couldn't_ love him, that she didn't think all the crap she was throwing at him, that she _had _to, that she had no choice... _She _was the coward of the story. A fucking heartless coward. Evertyhing _she_ touched fell apart. _She_ was af failure. She was just blaming him for who _she_ was.

Suddenly, Killian turned around and grabbed a bottle of rum one of his man had left on the deck.

"That's it, take shelter in rum, that's what cowards do", Emma spat.

The rage distorted his features and his voice was loud and cracked and terrifying. "ENOUGH !" he yelled as he threw the bottle in her direction. The glass shattered against the railing, the material smashed to smithereens glowing under the rising sun. Emma let out a cry. Killian glanced up at her to see a scarlet dash flowing on her arm. He had thrown the bottle _at her._

"Get the hell out of my ship", he mumbled, staring into space. She didn't move, awe covering her face. "GET THE BLOODY HELL OUT OF MY SHIP !" he shouted.

Emma gulped and reached the gang plank, slowly. She drew in a breath, reminding herself of breathing normally. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction to see her running. She didn't want him to see the tears flowing on her cheeks and burning the back of her eyes.

But she figured he couldn't see them anyway.

So she let them flow.

* * *

He was sore. He was a mess. A bloody mess. He watched her silhouette dissolve in the horizon, knowing that all hope had gone with her, that he would never see her smile again, that he had screwed up everything. She was not a monster, he was. And yet, he couldn't help but wonder how she could chill him to the bone, throwing all these horrors at him without even blinking. She didn't give a damn about him.

And all of a sudden, it dawned on him : the only reminder he had left her was a scar on the arm. With awe and despair, he felt a dampness on his collar bone. Tears. He hadn't cried in twenty years. Since Milah's death. He had thought his body was dry and deprived from those. Emma had brought them back. She had brought him back to life.

How was he supposed to survive now she was gone ?

He was not.

* * *

**A/N : So much drama omg... I'm such a (evil) drama queen, I know. But bear in mind that I love happy endings :D** **Also not even an hour goes by between the moment Emma leaves the JR and comes back to it. It'd be too weird otherwise. **

**About the nxt chapter, I hope I'll get it written by Sunday, because I've only started the outline... I've been so busy with my summer job. But now I am FREE AND ON VACATION, so I'll go back to writing again. Just know that the next chapter may not be up on Sunday :/  
**

**Thanks a lot for all your reviews, the follows, the favorite... And simply for reading this story ! It means a lot to me, more than you could ever know. **

**A review for your (sad?) thoughts ?**


	13. Pour me something stronger

**A/N : Sorry about the delay ! My stock of chapters already written ended with chapter 12, so from now on it should take a little longer between the updates... But I hope you'll enjoy the chapter anyway. Angst and nightmares ahead !  
**

* * *

**Chapter 13 : _Pour me something stronger_**

.

_Pour me something stronger, _

_Pour me something dark, _

_Pour it up so high, _

_So I can't feel my heart._

_._

_._

The towers of Eurwen stood in the lingering haze of this April morning. The singing of the birds lulled the sound of the gentle breeze as the sun cast its light on the wings of the mist. It felt like a dream, a memory, a piece of a far off past only disturbed by the crunch of paces on the lane's mudd. Emma's. The young princess was making her way to her home while it didn't even felt like one to her. Oddly enough, she had felt home on this wild beach of the stars, gazing at the sky in the pirate's arms. But home was no longer there, home was gone. Emma was back to being a wanderer, her life would go on. No more smiles, no more innuendoes, no more Killian Jones. The mere thought of it made her ache, and she decided to banish his name to the haze she was winding through.

But wouldn't this make it all worse ? His memory would always be lingering in the air, wrapping her, penetrating her.

Maybe she should just burn it. Yet again, ashes would remain, everlasting memory of the infuriating pirate.

Maybe she couldn't get rid of him. Maybe it all happened for a reason. But she couldn't quite guess what it was. For what's the point of pain if not enjoying happiness ? Emma couldn't feel happiness, she was doomed by the sole feeling of pain.

_ She_ was burning.

And she hoped he was burning for the pain he put her through.

The immaculate walls of the castles were closer, the towers higher. She was almost there. She didn't feel any apprehension, but she couldn't shake this strange feeling nestling in the pit of her stomach. It all felt wrong. Coming back to them after stabbing her sister. And yet, what could she possibly do ? She had nowhere else to go. The only place she wanted to be in was Killian's arms, and she knew it wasn't possible. She had to forget about him and the Jolly Roger, the way the waves lulled her to sleep. Eurwen was her home. She was to spend her life behind those castle walls.

If she didn't end up locked up in a cell.

She forced herself to go on, letting her feet carry her to the gates. She wanted to enter the enclosure so as to join the gardens, hoping no one would be there. She crossed the gate, looking at the swans gently gliding on the shimmering lake. She remembered how she liked to watch them when she was a little girl, naively thinking they were linked to her, that just like them, she would someday fly away to a better place. And then she saw them mating, sliding on the water two by two. Her nanny had told her swans mated for life, and she had thought : _Why ? What's the point ? Why can't they stay all alone ?_ Now, almost twenty years later, she understood. They couldn't stay alone because it was too painful. Each minute away from him was like a dagger diving in her flesh, cutting her soul to pieces.

Pain was all she got.

A few more steps and she'd be in the gardens.

She was in the gardens.

She had almost forgotten the beauty of Eurwen in spring. Hortensia, amaranthus and cardamine mingling in a colorful tableau, their scents floating in the air and carried by the warm breeze of spring. The green and caressing carpet underfoot, the dance of the butterflies, bright colors fluttering in motley sparks. The cristalline sound of the fountains reverberating from afar and blending with the voices of the nightingales. All of this draped her like a good old blanket exhaling lavender, the ones her mother used to wrap her with when she got out of her summer baths in the lake.

And suddenly, here she was. _Her mother_. Sitting on a bench, in the shade of an old cherry tree, her eyes locked on the branch of lily of the valley she was fidgeting. She was wearing a long and white dress, and Emma immediately noticed the streaks of gray among her dark hair. Was she the reason why they had appeared ? A soft melody passed her lips, and her cracked voice rose in the air.

_May you bring love,  
And may you bring happiness;  
Be loved in return,  
To the end your days;  
Now fall of to sleep,  
I'm not meaning to keep you,  
I'll just sit for awhile,  
And sing loo-li,lai-lay _

Emma swallowed and took a few steps forwards as the harmony died away, drawing in a deep breath. But there was no need to try and be discrete. She was her _mother_. A mother knows when her child is around.

The flower dropped from her hands when her brown eyes met hers. She got up with difficulty, using her left hand to give her an impulse as her other hand tried to reach the young woman standing before her. Shock marred the Queen's face and her eyes were already filled with tears when her fingers brushed her daughter's cheeks in disbelief.

"Emma ?" she lowly asked.

Emma didn't even recognize this voice. It was so broken, fragile, cracked. She silently nodded, a half-smile spreading across her face. Snow smiled and brought a hand to her mouth, tremors coursing through her body. Her shoulders shook, and all of a sudden, her arms were wrapped around her daughter's neck.

"We thought you were dead", she weakly let out. "Emma we thought we had lost you forever, dear gods you're here..."

The princess could feel her mother's teardrops rolling down her spine and dampening her collar. She was taken aback by the hug, surprised by her mother's reaction.

"I'm so sorry..." she whispered.

The Queen untightened her embrace and her lips parted in a sad smile. "We both know you're not sweetheart."

"Kaly..."

Snow shook her head. "She's doing fine. Let's not talk about that okay ?"

The princess nodded, unable to say anything. Her mother's eyes roamed her, full of worry, probably looking for an injury or a scratch.

"I'm fine mother", she answered her silent questions.

"Where... Where have you been all this time Emma ?"

"I-"

"Don't lie to me, we know you've been abducted by a pirate. Witnesses saw our guards' bodies in the snow the day after you ran away. This pirate killed Duncan."

Of course. She thought _Hook_ had killed him. If she only knew... But a little voice told Emma not say anything, that it would hurt her. She had just come back, it'd be too much to handle for her. Instead of throwing the ugly truth at her, Emma took her mother's hand and gently tightened it.

"Does it really matter ?" she softly asked. "I'm here now, it's all over. I'm sorry I ran away, I'm sorry I hurt you and Kaly... I... I needed to be alone. I was caught in a snowstorm and the pirate abducted me."

"But why keeping you for four months if all he wanted was a ransom ?"

"He... He told me the longer you didn't hear from me, the more you'd pay him."

"And you escaped ?"

"Yes."

Knowing that her daughter wouldn't say anything more, the Queen smiled and caressed Emma's cheek. A strange emotion emanated from her being, and Emma wondered if this was what regret felt like.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart..." Snow let out between two sobs. "Your father and I are so sorry for what we put you through, for lying to you. All we wanted was to protect you, but it was selfish of us. We did it for _us._ Not for you. You had to grow up without a heart and... these are years you'll never get back. Emma if you only knew how much we regret this decision..."

Emma gulped and couldn't take her eyes off of her mother's, so... cloudy. She realized she had started to feel when she was with Hook, on the Pirate Island. Shame, fear, pain... Somehow, he had managed to trigger all these emotions in her. And for a few hours, she had been experiencing sorrow and grudge, she had been mad at her parents for what they did to her. But now that she was standing in front of her crying mother, all the grudge had vanished. She just felt exhausted, as if these new feelings sucked the life out from her body instead of making her feel more alive.

"Let bygones be bygones", she said.

Her mother nodded. "Thank you for coming back."

They left the shaded gardens and headed to the castle, their hands entwined.

And Emma knew that the remaining six months would be the longest of her life.

* * *

_The atmosphere was suffocating. The air exhaled whiskey and rum, the spirits mingled so as to create a sultry scent of despair. The flames of the candles were barely alive, weakly flickering, struggling. Killian was leaning against the door, a half-empty bottle of rum in his hand. He closed his eyes and brought the neck to his lips, and the spirit flew down his throat, burning his stomach, blazing every inch of his core. He grimaced and sighed, his eyelids still shut. _

"_What have I done..." he murmured. "Of course she ran away, how the bloody hell could she love me ?"_

_He hung his head and left the door, miserably failing to walk straight. "Hey, it's me, Captain Screweverythingbuttheprincess !" He drank straight from the bottle again before throwing it on the floor. The glass scattered loudly and the very sound coursed underneath Killian's skin, reached his heart and smashed it. He had hurt her. He had made her bleed. He had thrown a bloody bottle at her. The glass had cut her flesh, and he could still see her expression of awe and the terror in her eyes. _

"_You fucked everything up Killian..." he groaned. "You're the most pathetic fucker of them all." _

_He could feel his blood boil, pound in his temples. He could feel the wrath shaking his limbs and penetrating his bones. The thought of Emma hurting incensed him. Not only was he a coward, he was a monster. A beast. A vengeful beast who didn't deserve to be loved. He deserved the words she had thrown at him, he deserved her disgust, her anger, her hate. Not her love. She should've given him to the authorities. He would've been hung high and his pain would've vanished. She would've been rid of him. He would've been shut out forever, unable to hurt her. And yet she let him be, she let him live with himself. Now all he got was this self-loathing and the memory of Emma's look as he yelled at her._

_His eyes turned to his desk and he took a few steps towards it. He pushed a notebook aside and observed the inscription on the wood. _Emma Elea of Eurwen_. He had carved her name into the mahogany almost six years from now, right after he left the masquerade of Eurwen. Because it took him only a heartbeat to know he was hopelessly in love with her. He had written her name so as to look at it everyday and remind himself that she was his only hope. But now that everything had crumbled down, what was the point of looking at the wooden letters ? _

_All of a sudden, he planted his hook on the wooden surface and crossed the name with all his might. His breath grew frantic, feverish, erratic. He pushed the chair with force and shouted. The piece of furniture waltzed across the room and crashed against the bed. A mad look lied beneath his lashes. He rushed to the chest of drawers and wiped all the items away with his forearms, causing them to roll and collide on the floor. He tore the papers apart, he ripped out the sheets, he grazed the wood. A chaos of sharp sounds of materials breaking invaded the sultry air, and soon, the cabin turned into a battlelfied. The one that opposed Killian and his demons, the apex of his misery. Out of breath, he sunk to the floor, his head and back falling against the door. He closed his eyes. _

_And all he could see was the lethal dance of his dashed hopes in the darkness of his eyelids._

* * *

"Killian !"

Emma woke with a start and her heart was racing in her chest. Pearls of sweat covered her forehead and she felt like her breath was stuck in her lungs.

"What the hell was that ?" she said, trying to calm down. She had seen him, she had felt his misery, she had even smelled the scent of rum. She was there, with him, she had seen him fall apart. But this was only a nightmare. Right ? "Nothing but a nightmare", she tried to convince herself. It was still dark outside, and she could here the owls. No lark yet. Dawn was still far away.

She sat in her bed and rubbed her forehead. "Nice welcome gift", she mumbled.

A soft noise caught her attention. The door opened slowly and reaveled a slender shadow. "Hey sis", she whispered.

"Kaly", Emma sighed. "I-"

"Don't", her sister intervened. "Our parents told me. Don't beat yourself up... Well I know you couldn't actually do that but, you know. "

Emma's lips parted in a sad smile and her sister joined her on her bed. She sat next to her and rested her head against her shoulder. "I heard you scream", she said. "Care to tell me what it was about ?"

"Nothing."

"_Killian_ is the new word for nothing ?" Kalyana quipped with a mischievous smile. "Sounds like an interesting nothing to me."

"Yeah... It was a nightmare. Nothing more."

"Nightmares often reveal a whole lot about the things buried in us. What happened ?"

Emma found herself suddenly captivated by the sheets and he way they waved underneath her touch. "I saw him drinking his pain away."

Kalyana frowned, and her voice grew softer. "What pain ?"

A few seconds remained silent, until Emma's cracked voice filled the space between them. "A pain caused by me." She gulped and lowered her head.

"It was only a nightmare."

"I know."

"But it comes from something that bothers you... Is he the one who abducted you ?"

Emma's brows furrowed in surprise. "How do you do that ?"

"Do what ?"

"Read into me."

The young girl laughed and moments of pure innocence overwhelmed Emma, memories of a stolen childhood she had spent wondering how her sister could be so gleeful. "I'm your _sister_. And I happen to have a heart so..."

Emma shrugged. "After all I did to you, you just pop up here as if nothing happened and you hug me and take care of me. Why ?"

Kaly 's eyes fluttered and a wide grin curled her rosy lips. "Again. I'm your sister, duh."

Emma tilted her head to the side so as to rest it on her sister's. "I've never met anyone as kind and empathetic as you. Except for mother."

"Well the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it ?"

"I rolled quite far from the trunk then", Emma deadpanned.

"Don't be silly, I'd be like you if I hadn't my heart. You didn't choose this... And from what I understood it'll be all over in six months. Just... keep holding on. And try not to think too much about this Killian. Even though I'm pretty sure he's a hot nothing."

_You have no idea._

She kissed he sister on the cheek and motioned towards the side of the bed, but Emma gripped her arm. "Wait... Would you like to stay here for the night ? Just... In case I have another nightmare."

Kalyana grinned. "Of course."

She lay next to her sister and buried her head into the pillow. "Goodnight Emma", she murmured.

"Goodnight Kaly".

* * *

_6 months later_

_October_

_._

_He couldn't feel. He was numb. His mind was like limbo, a misty maze of incoherent thoughts. He had reached the point of no return. Wrath had been replaced by despair and then by the nothingness. He was at his worst. It was so much more than a heartbreak. He was dying. _

_Literally._

_Killian Jones lay on his bed, too weak to keep his eyes open more than a few minutes. His body was shaking, and empty bottles of rum were scattered on the floor. His sheets smelled like whiskey and sweat, the strange mixture dampening the fabric. Dawn filtered through the panes and floodlit the mayhem of the cabin, clothes and items still blending on the wooden floor. _

_The pirate tried to sit up and take another gulp of rum, but he failed to reach the bottle at the end of the bed. A sharp cough escaped from his mouth and shook his body. The rosy light of the rising sun revealed the pallor of his complexion and the dark circles framing his eyes. He looked like death warmed over, the spark in his eyes nowhere to be found. _

_The door creaked open and Smee's silhouette entered the room, worried and fearful. "Captain, is there anything I can do ?" he inquired._

_Killian let out a dark laughter interrupted by a few coughs. "Very thoughtful of you my dear Smee, but there's _nothing y_ou can do."_

"_I... The men and I... I'm worried they start a mutiny."_

_The Captain lay back and closed his eyes._ "_Let them. I'm gonna die anyway."_

* * *

Her heart clenched. She gasped for air. An electric waved coursed through her body. She was sore. Sore and afraid.

_It wasn't a dream._

And now, she was sure that the nightmare she had had six months ago wasn't one either.

Dawn was barely there, the sky was still stained with shades of orange and pink that splashed on the clouds. But Emma didn't care. Killian was in danger.

She irrupted in her parents' room, an ominous hunch carrying her feet to them.

"Mother, Father", she called while shaking them.

"Emma what..." his father groaned with sleepy eyes.

"I need to know more about the prophecy."

"Are you serious ?" the king implored.

"Why now Emma ?" he mother inquired, worried.

"I... I have a bad feeling. I had two nightmares and... I think they are more like visions or something."

"So now our daughter's a seer ?" Charming lowly deadpanned.

"Charming !" Snow said pinching his forearm.

Emma sighed. "This is serious Father, someone I know is in danger."

"Okay then, tell us about these bad dreams", Snow softly said.

Emma sat on the side of the bed. She didn't really know where to start... _Hey mom, dad, there's this hot pirate who abducted me and I kinda tried to get him to fuck me and now he's dying because of the deal you made me take twenty three years ago..._

"You were right mother", she began. "I was abducted by a pirate. His name is Killian, Killian Jones. Or Captain Hook. Anyhow, he abducted me but I agreed with all of this... I guess I wanted to try and live something else, I wanted to feel something... And... I don't know how he managed to do it but he unlocked something in me... I can feel. I can feel pain, sorrow, fear... Is there a way to break the prophecy or something ?"

Her parents looked astonished, but her mother's softened and she smiled.

"Love", she said.

The king cocked an eyebrow at this wife. "What ?"

"You love him Emma."

Charming shook his head in denial. "She can't love him, he's a _pirate_ !"

Really ? Was this the only thing that came to his mind in such a tragic moment ? "I can't love him because I have_ no heart_, father."

"Yes but he's a_** pirate **_!"

"Charming..." Snow sighed.

"How could I love him if I have no heart ?" Emma asked.

Snow grimaced. "Your father's not going to like it."

"Spill the beans my love, I don't even know how it could worsen."

The Queen took her daughter's hand in hers and caressed it with his thumb. "He's your true love honey."

Emma's eyes widened as his father rubbed his forehead. "What a great way to start the day", he groaned, burying his head into the pillow.

"True love can break any curse..." Snow added.

The princess closed her eyes, remembering each moment she spent with Killian. The warmth she felt when he was around. The way his look burnt her skin. The way hers nostrils remembered his scent, even when he was so far away from her. The way her heart ached when she had told him all these disgusting things. And, at last, the pain that his misery caused her.

"The nightmares..." Emma said. "I had two nightmares about him. I saw him drinking and hurting the first time, and last night I saw him in really bad shape. He coughed and looked so frail... He said he was going to die, and by the looks of it, I think he might."

"Emma I don't understand", his father began. "Why returning home without him six months ago ?"

"Because he's a _pirate_", Emma deadpanned.

Charming tilted his head. "You know what I mean. You know you could've brought him here, no harm would've been done to him if you hald told us you loved him."

"But here's the thing, I don't !" Emma yelled. "I mean... I can't. I don't feel any love for him I just... I just know I can't stand the thought of him suffering."

"You're not telling us everything Emma", Snow noticed.

Emma hesitated for a few seconds before letting the truth pass her lips."Rumplestiltskin came to me the day I came back."

"Wh-"

"I know you made a deal with him the day I was born. And of course, he didn't forget to claim his favor. He asked me to hurt Killian, to tell him... horrible things. We left in pretty bad terms."

"Then come and join him."

"But the curse will be lifted in two days, can't this wait ?" the King asked.

"Killian can't afford it. He's _dying_", Emma reminded him. "But what good would it make ugh ? He must **hate** me. If I come to him like this... Still... heartless, it won't serve anything."

"Then get your heart back", Snow said.

"_**WHAT**_ ?" The King exclaimed, emerging from the pillows.

"There's a place where your heart _is _and another where it _should_ be. By your lover's side. We made a mistake twenty three years ago, it's time to fix it. Come to him, explain him everything, and then ask him to help you get your heart back."

Emma frowned, utterly lost and confused. "How will this help ? Shouldn't I get my heart before seeing him ?"

Snow shook her head. "You couldn't get it back on your own, not where it is."

"But he's too weak..."

"He is _Captain Hook_, he will make it through." Snow paused and bit her cheek. She had to fix it all, to give her a shot at happiness. The prophecy would end in two days, but the love of her life hadn't much time. If Emma had seen him in her dreams and felt his pain, it only meant one thing : only her_ love_ would be able to help him. She needed to get her heart back as soon as possible.

The Queen lifted her chin and took a deep breath. "I'll tell you where your heart is."

* * *

**A/N : Aaaaaaaaand another cliffhanger. I'm definitely evil. Especially because I have no idea when the next chapter will be up because I haven't even started to write it. Thursday maybe ? I'll try to write it for Wednesday though.**

**About this chapter, I feel like it's a HUGE mess because I had so many things to answer or to make her parents hear about. But I really wanted to try this structure (awakening/nightmares) and the amazing song '_Pour me something stronger_' from the series_ Nashville_ helped me a lot. By the way, the song that Snow sings is '_Sleepsong_' by Secret Garden. It's beaaautiful.**

**Thanks a loooooot for all the kind words and reviews and everything. You rock :)**

**A little review ?**


	14. Fill a rún ó

**A/N : WOAH 9 days between two updates I am so so so so **sorry** guys ! Real life's been crazy and writer's block kind of hit me, so sorry if this chapter sucks...**

* * *

**Chapter 14 : **

**Fill a rún ó (Come back, love)**

.

.

"Where the hell are you ?"

The docks of Niamh Bay were as crowded as usual, but the majestic shape of the Jolly Roger was nowhere to be seen. The dying sun illuminated the bay and turned all the sailors into moving shadows, a dance of black shapes silhouetting against the pink horizon.

Emma had left Eurwen an hour ago, and, after hours of negociation, her parents had let her go on her own. _More convincing_, Snow had said, causing the King's face to harden. But how would Emma convince Hook if he wasn't there ?

"I should've known better, of course he's gone", Emma muttered to herself. The pirate was not an idiot, he knew the authorities of Elanoriah would go after him. He may be suicidal or the gods know what, he wouldn't sacrifice his crew. But where was he now ? Had he already left for the Pirate Island ? In his state ? No,it didn't make sense. _You're going to make it hard for me till the bitter end aren't you,_ the princess thought as a knot appeared in her stomach. Anxious, she let her instinct guide her to a tavern. Or was it her stomach ? The day was cold and she was exhausted. She needed to get some rest, hoping Killian would not het _too much._

This building was much smaller than the one she had seen in the Pirate Island. And the people seemed even worse. Only five men were scattered in the dull room, their heads lowered and their eyes locked on their plates and drinks, as if captivated by the tiny tides of the liquids. She carefully put her cloak on so as to hide her golden mane, and something chilled her to the bone. She could perfectly remember the last time she did so and when ensued. The violence of the attack. The worry in his eyes. The brilliance of the stars. The heat of his body. The pumping of his heart against her ear and how it had resonated in her soul. A strange feeling invaded her. The regret, the will to turn back time. _Nostalgia_.

But there was no way to turn back time. All she could do was ensuring her future.

_Their_ future.

She sat at a remote board (**1**), nestled in a dark corner the light of the candles seemed to avoid, and scanned the area with attention. Maybe one of these men could give her some piece of information concerning the whereabouts of the Jolly Roger... or Captain Hook. Suddenly, her vision was blocked by proeminent breasts that threatened to burst out of the corset they were contained in.

"What do you want ?" the waitress asked.

Emma gulped. "I-" she stuttered. Wait, _stuttered_ ? Since when Emma stuttered or felt embarrassed ? By the sight of tits ? _Great now I'm a prude_, she thought. She gathered her wits. "A pint of ale and a plate of beans please." Beans ? Really ? Everything reminded her of Killian. Even beans. She was so screwed.

_Not enough to be quite honest_, she told herself.

Well, after all she did _not_ turn into a prude.

The waitress nodded and was about to go when Emma caught her wrist. "Wait, I'm actually looking for somebody. Have you seen Captain Hook ?"

This came out so wrong.

The young woman cocked an eyebrow at her. "Hook ?" she said with disdain. "I sure as hell haven't seen him for a whole year. And I'd better not see him, ever again. The bastard still owes me 2 pieces of gold. He's lucky he's handsome and well built. If it wasn't for his pretty face and cock, I would've sent my husband to him."

_His pretty._..? Emma opened her mouth and shook her head. Many thoughts popped up in her mind but she chose to chase them right away.

She had _definitely not_ turned into a prude.

Also, he had... her ?

"Thanks", Emma said with a hesitating smile. The waitress rolled her eyes as if to say "Welcome to the club" and walked away, leaving the princess to her dirty thoughts. No but really, he was Captain Hook, how come no one had seen him ?

"The Cap'n doesn't wanna see you", she heard. She turned around to see Smee, sitting at the board behind her._ He wasn't there five minutes ago,_ she thought.

"Smee", she said as softly as possible, "please, tell me where he is."

"You would make it all worse", the little man answered.

"And what if I could help him ugh ? Are you really going to take this chance ?"

Smee bit his lower lip and his eyes roamed hers, hesitating. "He's suffering because of you you know."

"I know", Emma sighed. "But I did what I did for a good reason, trust me. There's more to the story."

Smee cocked an eyebrow at her. "That's what the Captain told you before you left, and yet you didn't listen."

_Not as stupid as he looks._ "And I regret this. But regrets don't help. Let me fix it all, please."

The sailor shook his head and grimaced. "I can't do that."

_But stupid enough to piss a heartless chick_. "Then why are you here ?" Emma snapped. "You just popped up behind me, and don't tell me it was a coincidence you weren't there when I set foot in this tavern."

The pirate's mouth suddenly formed a perfect "o", and Emma couldn't help but think the guy had been a fish in another life. He swallowed and lifted his chin, visibly not encline to cooperate. "I'm here because I was thirsty", he stated.

The princess rolled her eyes and her eyebrows narrowed, her look darkened. She jerked forward and her dagger was pressed against Smee's throat in a heartbeat. "Here's the thing buddy, it's quite hard to drink when your throat is _slashed_, so I shall advise you to tell me where the hell Hook is if you indeed want to drink. **Ever again**."

Smee looked down at the sharp blade brushing against his throat, too afraid to even gulp because he thought the metal could dive into his flesh at any moment. The sensation of the cold knife sent shivers through his body and he hesitantly looked up at Emma, a flame of determination burning into her irises. He knew she wouldn't think twice before slice his throat open. And deep down, he knew that even though Emma had broken his Captain, she was the only one who could pick up the pieces and make him whole again.

"I'll lead you to him", he finally stuttered. A half smile curled his thin lips. "Care to put this thing down ?"

* * *

The gray sky weighed heavily upon them, threatening to smash them with each step they took. The wind hissed and blew, the clouds and the sun scrambling, struggling, striving, reminding Emma of an ancient legend her mother had told her about when she was a little girl. Long before the Orfhlaith brought peace to the land and built Elanoriah, at the beginning of times, the goddess Sunniva (**2**) and the god Dubhán (**3**) were lovers. They conceived a child, but after its birth, Sunniva's uncle came across them and brought their relationship out into the open. Their families were furious, so they merged Sunniva into the sun and Dubhán into the clouds. Their son became the wind, always forced to separate them. The three of them could never be together. And some people said that sometimes, at dawn, if you listened very carefully, you could hear Sunniva's words carried away by her son : _Fill a rún ó ._

An eternity of solitude and sorrow was their lot, and Emma couldn't help but wondering how the sun could shine so bright despite the pain. What if her destiny was to shine without Killian ? No, she had to save him, she had to find a solution. They were nothing like Sunniva and Dubhán. They were _humans_.

Smee's voice broke her out from her thoughts. "You know, the Jolly Roger is very different from what you remember."

"How come ?" she asked, anxious.

"The Captain has been drinking his pain away for months, we all even wonder how he's still alive and how his organs are still intact. Half of the crew left, tired of resting ashore, and we managed to avoid a mutiny." The sailor stopped and turned around to face Emma. "In other words, it sucks."

The princess heaved a heavy sigh and kept going, wondering why she hadn't realized her dreams were not dreams months ago. Maybe she had known it all along, maybe she hadn't wanted to acknowledge it. It would've been acknowledging her feelings for Killian. Feelings she did not have. Feelings she could not have. It was all so crazy. She knew she was bound to the pirate, but she loved him without actually loving him. She cared about him without caring about him. She didn't know where to stand, what to think, what to feel. She felt like a border, belonging in two places and nowhere at the same time, bound to remain an in between. All she knew was that she had to save Killian. Both for his sake and for hers.

Suddenly, Smee froze and Emma followed.

"Why are we stopping now ?" she asked.

"The Jolly Roger is there."

He was kidding. Of course he was kidding. They were on the edge of a _cliff_. "Where ?"

"Down below."

Emma frowned and took a few steps towards the end of the cliff, and that's when she saw her. The Jolly Roger, waving on the clear water of a small cove, her sails flowing against the gray sky, the timid sun hardly illuminating its shape. Emma's heart clenched at the sight, memories of their last meeting overwhelming her. The cold wind of October bit her cheeks and brought the smell of salt and apprehension. Life was so much easier when she didn't feel anything. But now, surrounded by pain and regret, she couldn't help but fear what was going to unfold.

"Ready ?" she heard Smee ask.

"I guess so", Emma let out.

They used a stone staircase, and Emma's heartbeat grew louder with every step. The Jolly Roger grew larger, the wind colder, the silence more stiffening. **The silence**. They were now about to climb on the gangplank, and yet, no sound emerged from the ship. No voices. The habitual mayhem wasn't to be heard, the hissing of the wind seemed to rule over the cove, even deafening the sound of the waves.

"You still can change your mind princess", Smee said.

"Killian is_ dying"_, she answered without looking at the sailor. Without further explanation, she went past him and set foot on the damp deck. Her legs carried her to the Captain's cabin, and she felt like the wind pushed her towards the door. A vidid odor of alcohol assaulted her nostrils and she feared the worst._ Idiot_, she thought. The princess took a deep breath and opened the door, slowly, afraid of the sight of a wasted Killian.

It was nothing like what she had feared.

Killian was lying in his bed, half covered by a torn down sheet. His face and chest were marred with sweat and his hand was hanging out of the bed, firmly holding the neck of a half empty bottle of what _had _to be rum. His eyes were closed and for a moment, Emma thought he was sleeping. She took a few steps towards him and sat on the bed. She let her fingers brush his cheekbone. His dark hair was plastered against his forehead, drenched with sweat, and Emma's hand left his cheek to tuck them. That's when she felt his hand gripping her wrist and crashing her bones.

"What the hell do you think you're doing ?" Killian spat.

His eyes were cold and his voice icy while his body was on fire. She could feel the heat emanating from his skin as his fingers squeezed her flesh, and yet, his look crystallized her blood and made her want to turn her heels on him. But she couldn't. Apart from his grasp, something else rooted her in this cabin, anchored her by his side.

"I came to help", she calmly said, her eyes not leaving his.

He let go of her hand and a maniacal laughter passed his dry and cracked lips. "You want to _help __**me**_ now ? Cut the crap princess, and go back to your castle."

Emma shook her head stubbornly. "I'm not leaving you."

The pirate sat up with difficulty. "It's a bit too late for this don't you think ?" he snapped between two grimaces of pain.

"Hook, what I told you six months ago..."

"Was the truth", he interrupted. "Now thank you and goodbye. No need to pour salt on my wounds love, it hurts enough."

Emma's eyebrows narrowed. "You really think I came by to _hurt_ you ?"

"You're poison Emma. Always rushing in my veins. You're like a fucking sword of Damocles always hanging over my head, there's daggers in your smiles4. And when I think I'm finally rid of you you just appear on my bed and brush my hair. I'm sick of your mindgames."

"This is not a mindgame for fuck's sake !" she yelled while getting up.

"SO HOW DO YOU CALL IT EMMA ?" he roared. "You made it clear six months ago that you _hated_ me, that I **disgusted **you, and now you just come around and tell me that you want to _help_ ? After what you did ?"

"I DIDN'T MEAN ALL THE THINGS I SAID TO YOU DAMMIT !" she thundered. She could feel her heart pounding in her temples and the blood boiling with fury in her veins. "I was _forced _to tell you I hated you."

"By whom ?"

"Rumplestiltskin."

Killian's expression softened, then darkened, and finally a sarcastic smirk broke across his pale face. "If this is a joke it's not funny as you can gather."

The princess rubbed her forehaed. "It's not a joke Hook. My parents made a deal with him almost twenty four years ago. I owed him a favor and he came to claim it six months ago. He told me to tell you all those things because..." These words made no sense. "He said it would hurt you because..." What was the point is saying them out loud if she couldn't even understand them ? "Because you're in love with me."

He didn't deny that. And hell, how she wanted him to deny this. Instead he remained cold, impassive. "What sort of deal did they make ?" he asked.

Emma crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. "The kind of deal which allowed him to remove my heart from my chest and save the whole kindgom because a prophecy said my heart would be stolen when I'd turn 24."

This time, Killian looked thunderstruck. His jaw dropped and Emma swore he was about to pass out. "You... You have no _heart_ ?"

Emma wiggled her arms into the thin air. "I am a heartless monster, yes."

And then, she heard him laugh. She hear him giggle. He brought the bottle of rum he had dropped to his lips and half of it flowed on the sheet and missed his mouth. _Because he was laughing too hard_. "What's so funny ?" Emma asked, or rather _snapped_.

Killian put the bottle down and wiped his lips. "Nothing. Or everything. Let's say this is a detail somebody forgot to mention, and now I understand why."

"What do you mean ?"

The pirate's face became grave and he looked down to the stained sheet. "When Milah died," he began, his eyes still locked on the spot of rum, "a part of my heart died along with her. It became black, consumed by loss and hatred. The day we buried her into the sea, I swore I would avenge her, I took an oath. A seagoddess, Calypso, came to me that night and told me she could help me get my revenge on Rumplestiltskin. She told me about a witch, Medea5, who owned a magical compass which could guide me to the only weapon able to kill the Dark One, the dagger. A week after, I found Medea's lair and the compass. But the witch was there. She was the most beautiful creature I had ever met, long inky black wringlets flowing down the small of her back, and coal and piercing irises framed by thick lashes. But she was also cruel and as avengeful as I was. Her husband, Jason, had abandoned on her and chosen a King's daughter over her and their two children. Furious, she had killed her own progeny and the said princess along with her father. Eversince that tragedy, she loathed men. She loathed _me_. So she cursed me and told me I had until the 24th birthday of the Orfhlaith to be loved by her, or I would lose my soul forever. And without a soul, I could never find peace and let go of my thirst of blood. Because you see, being soulless has nothing to be with being heartless. When you lose your soul, you feel all the pain more intensly, your regrets take over you." Killian stopped and laughed. "And obviously, she forgot to mention the Orfhlaith would be heartless before her 24th birthday, unable to actually love me. She sentenced me to an eternity of sorrow."

"Killian I-"

The pirate shook his head, his eyes closed. "No, don't bother princess. It's not your fault. You couldn't love me even if you wanted to. But the funniest part is, I always thought it'd be easy you know. All the years I spent in Neverland, I thought the Orfhlaith would fall into my arms like all the women did, and that I wouldn't even have to fake feelings for her. It'd be quick, and then I would go after Rumplestiltskin to avenge Milah, my one true love. But then I saw you at this ball six years ago... And it felt like I had never been alive before that night, before seeing you in that blue dress, before dancing with you and kissing your hand. I thought that love at first sight was bullshit, that your parents had made that up because it sounded bloody ridiculous." He locked his eyes on Emma's. "Turns out I couldn't have been more wrong."

Emma gulped and took in everything he had just told her. He was _in love_ with her. Well, he hadn't said the words but it was pretty damn obvious. He had loved her for six years, _waited_ for her.

"Why didn't you just court me after this ball ?" she asked, confused. "Why waiting six years ?"

"You were a child."

Emma smirked. "Ask Baelfire, I was not." Seeing his jaw clench, she chose to add something. Quickly. "Plus it's easier to seduce an eighteen-year-old girl than a twenty-four-year-old woman. I bet you knew that."

"I was waiting for the good time."

"And how did you know the good time would come before my 24th birthday ?"

Killian flashed her a dark smile. "I didn't. But you know, after the ball, I never left you. I was here in the dark, watching you."

Emma rubbed her neck. "Even when I was with..."

"Trust me, I didn't want to see you with him", he hissed.

She sighed and sat back on the bed, right next to his hand. "I... I'm sorry Hook. I don't know what love is, I've spent my whole life trying to figure it out. But... it might sound crazy, but I know there's something going on between us, I've always felt it. A connection, as if we were kindred spirits. I feel dragged to you. I had two nightmares in six months. I saw you drinking your pain away. I saw you wasted and hurting and destroying your cabin and... I thought there were only bad dreams when they were visions. You're dying because I can't love you."

"I'm not dying love, it's just that my soul is gradually vanishing."

"Oh if it's just your soul vanishing it's okay then", she deadpanned. She looked down at his hand, his red knuckles, and how much she wanted to know how it **_felt_** like to be touched by his fingers. Just feeling them brushing her cheeks. "What I wanted to say is... It's not that I don't want to love you it's just that I can't."

Killian's hand turned around and he laced his fingers with hers. "I know love."

"But just because I can't doesn't mean this is hopeless."

The pirate raised a sceptic eyebrow. "You'll turn twenty-four in _two days,_ Emma."

She tilted her head to the side. "Is two days enough to make it to Neverland ?"

Now Killian just looked lost. "Why ?"

"Because that's where my heart is, and I want you to help me get it back."

* * *

(**1**) Board : Old name for tables. "_A 'table' was what modern people think of – the permanent structure. The period English term for these temporary structures was '_board_'_."

(**2**) Sunniva : "_Scandinavian form of the Old English name _Sunngifu_, which meant "_**sun gift**_" from the Old English elements sunne _"sun_" and giefu "_gift_". This was the name of a legendary English saint who was shipwrecked in Norway and killed by the inhabitants_." Source : BehindTheName.

(**3**) Dubhán : "_Irish name derived from _dubh_ "dark, black" combined with a diminutive suffix._" BehindTheName. Basically, it means 'Little dark one'.

(**4**) "_There's daggers in men's smiles_", Shakespeare, _Macbeth,_ II, 3.

(**5**) Medea : Greek mythology. I transformed it a bit. Well, a lot. But Jason did abandon her and she did kill her children. Of course, there are a lot of different versions, as it's always the case with mythology.

* * *

**A/N : I totally made up the little legend about Sunniva and Dubhán. I just chose two names which meant dark and light so as to oppose them afterwards. I was a little inspired by the French story of _Héloïse & Abélard_. And **_**Fill a rún ó **_**is an amazing Irish song****, you should listen to it ! But the lyrics are more political than romantic. Actually, this song isn't romantic at all, it's about a mother talking to her son who chose to turn to the protestant religion, and she's calling him back. But I really love the melody and it inspired me ! Check the version sun by Cara Dillon. It's definitely one of my favorite songs ever.**

**Apart from this... Was this chapter okay ? I had to bring a whole lot of answers and I'm not sure it came out right... I know you all wanted Killian to find out about Emma's 'heart problem', but maybe you didn't want him to find out this way. He's always known there was something wrong with her, but he would never have imagined this. He was always meant to learn it this way, so hope you liked it despite everything :3 And yes, another cliffhanger, I'm sorry (or not).**

**Thanks for everything, as usual, I hope you still enjoy this story ! 3 chapters (+ an epilogue, maybe) left and it's over. **

**Review ?**


	15. Heart's Song

**A/N : Hi everyone ! I am SO SO SO sorry about the delay, I know it's been more than three weeks since my last update, but I was on vacation and I had no internet connection, so no way to post... But now here I am and I am definitely NOT giving up this story. In order to make amends, I wrote a longer chapter (about** 5,600** words). Actually I didn't think it'd be that long at first, I was just very inspired... Maybe too much, I'm afraid there are too many elements, but you tell me ! Hook's backstory, a little of Killipan (kind of), my take on Neverland, a strange cave and Emma's dilemma... I really hope you'll enjoy your reading :) **

**And dear guest who told me people were going to stop reading this story, care to tell me why? Because of the delay? I couldn't do anythind else, sadly so...**

* * *

**Chapter 15 : Heart's song**

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_ He was standing there, on the edge of the world, on the brink of gravity, his eyes locked on the neverending ocean of the traitorous island. The misty air bit his cheeks and then licked it softly, wrapping his whole being with delightful warmth and penetrating cold. That's what Neverland is. A battle of opposite forces, a fray of antagonists dancing in the wind. And its inhabitants were its victims. For the island was its own master, its own heart and brain. The piece of earth functionned like a true being, decided of every little thing, from the singing of the birds to the exotic rains. Its lodgers were its slaves. Slaves of the absence of time, slaves of the nothingness. Neverland was a poisonous star attracting dreamy and desperate children into its nets, devouring their innocence and turning them into mindless slaves. _

_ And the most cruel part of this not so imaginary tale was that they didn't know they were slaves. _

_ Killian Jones had landed on the island... Many years ago. He didn't know when exactly. Trying to count time in Neverland was like trying to count stars in the sky : pointless and impossible. The island was like a nightsky : fascinating and terrifying. You can't help but be amazed by the brilliance of the stars but in the meantime you feel smashed by the immensity of the universe. But Killian Jones had never been one to be afraid of anything. The immensity of the universe and other philosophical questionings were not his cup of tea. He preferred actions to words. But it hadn't been enough. _

_ He had come to Neverland for one reason, and this reason was blue-eyed and dark-haired : Milah. The woman he loved so deeply. She was gone because of him, because he had failed in protecting her. Her sad eyes lingered in his dreams every night, when he managed to find some sleep. And when he was awake, his eyes locked on the ceiling of his cabin, all he could hear was her final last words : _I love you_. He hadn't even said it back. The words had died on his lips as death had swallowed her up. For a while, he had considered joining her in her eternal sleep, but he was Killian Jones. He was willing to fight for Milah's memory and for the loss of his hand. Killian Jones died the same day as his love. He was now Captain Hook, and nothing but revenge rushed in his veins and fueled his rotten heart. _

_ He knew he needed time to plot his __vengeance__ against his crocodile. While Rumplestiltskin was immortal and powerful, Hook was a mere mortal. But the wrath of a desperate man should never be underestimated. Blinded by his thirst of blood, Hook had sailed the four seas of Draiochtland to find a way to get more time, and a fellow Traveller had answered his prayers. John was a friend of his late father's, and he had told him about the four remaining beans.__ He possessed two, enough for one journey, but the others were nowhere to be found__. Hook hadn't thought twice and had accepted John's help. He had heard of a land where time was nothing : Neverland. The location was famous among the Travellers who used to go there to get some rest during their long trips. But many centuries had gone by ever since, and Neverland was now a legend more than a memory. But Hook didn't care. He had taken the beans and looked for the second star to the right. _

_ But finding Neverland hadn't solved his problems. On the contrary, being offered the eternity had plunged him into a deep sorrow, a twisted melancholy. As the days, or what he took to be days went by, Milah's face began to fade away, and he could barely remember the scent of her skin or the melody of her laugh. And with each detail falling into oblivion, Hook's heart blackened and hardened. He had done unspeakable things in Neverland. He had killed. Stiffened by his pain, he had wanted the world to die with him. _

_ But as I said earlier, Neverland had a mind of its own._

* * *

The news hadn't pleased the cocky captain of the Jolly Roger. Coming back to bloody Neverland was not really thrilling, let alone coming back there with Emma. He knew all the dangers of this poisonous island, from his toxic beauty to its vile and cruel creatures. But her heart was there. His salvation lied where his darkest hours rested. How ironic.

Killian was not one to believe in destiny. He thought life was an addition of choices, that each man had the power to change everything, to fasten their destiny. But ever since he had met Medea, and above all ever since he was cursed, he had begun to wonder if his choices were not the doing of fate. _Fatum (1)_, as it was once called. The pirate had heard of _tragedies_, plays that existed in the world called Earth. Theater didn't exist in Draiochtland, only little scenes called _'farces_' (2). But this strange world possessed countless authors who had offered their lives to this art. Shakespeare, Racine, Sophocles, they had written the destinies of men and the passion of star-crossed lovers. And in the greek tragedies, the characters were nothing but puppets in the hands of Fate. Their lives were mere threads the Moirai (3) could cut when they decided to. The characters could struggle, cry and wip, fate was stronger than them, it crushed them.

Killian was very young when he heard about these plays. He was a sixteen year-old traveller back then, his father was still alive. This idea of fate had chilled him to the bone. The thought of being someone's toy disgusted him. He wanted freedom, pure freedom. See the world and love and _choose_. But now, after all these years of thinking, pain and anger, he had started to believe that maybe, somehow, his deeds were already written somewhere. In the stars maybe. Or on a yellowish parchment, who knew. But all his choices had led him to Emma. If he hadn't met Milah in this tavern, Rumplestiltskin wouldn't have killed her and cut his hand off. If he hadn't killed Milah, Killian wouldn't have looked for a way to avenge her. And if he hadn't looked for a way to avenge her, he wouldn't have met Medea, and she wouldn't have led him to Emma.

"There is something I don't quite understand", Emma told him as they were walking along the beach of Neverland. "How did you know I was the Orfhlaith?"

Killian turned to her and flashed her a mischievious smile. "I read it in the stars."

The princess tilted her head to the side, a not so amused smile curling her thin lips. "Killian, I didn't ask for poetry, I asked for the _truth_."

"I gave you the truth love", the pirate said, watching the horizon. "Well, pretty much. I _heard_ it from the stars." He stopped and stared at Emma. "When I was in Neverland, after Milah's death and before meeting Medea, I went to Neverpeak Mountain. I reached the peak, funnily enough, and the stars talked to me. They told me the Orfhlaith's name was Emma. I didn't understand who was this 'Orfhlaith' nor why the stars chose to tell me and I kind of sent them packing. But I think Neverland wanted me to find you."

Emma's eyes narrowed. "Why would this_ island_ want you to find me?"

"Does the name Peter Pan ring a bell love?" Killian asked while moving forward.

Emma pursed her lips and shrugged. "It might. Red-head little boy with pointy ears?"

The Captain chuckled. "That's how the tales of Draiochtland describe him indeed. But he was dark-haired and blue-eyed."

The princess stopped in her tracks and cocked an eyebrow at her companion. "**You**? You are Peter Fucking Pan?"

Killian couldn't help but smile at her 'lively' reaction. "I have nothing to do with these stories. As you know, I am or I used to be a Traveller. Neverland was the Travellers' den back in the day**s**, it allowed the men to recoverand to take a break from the portal jumping. My father brought me with him one day, and I was only thirteen, the youngest boy who ever came to Neverland. They called me Peter Pan because Peter was my second name and I used to play the flute."

"But what about the Lost Boys? They were younger than you weren't they?"

Killian shook his head. "There aren't any Lost Boys in Neverland. No human beings, only creatures."

Emma looked down and laughed. "I've been lied to my whole life."

"So have I. I thought Neverland was my home. I used to go there very often with my father. But Neverland isn't to be tamed, and one day it revolted."

Emma saw something darkening the pirate's irises. "What happened?" she carefully asked.

"A storm. The most powerful storm I've ever faced. It ripped the ocean apart and threw all the men in the slit. My father and I fell into it, and we landed in the Scarlet Sea. I... I was saved by a mermaid, but my father... He didn't have this chance. She decided to save me. I think my father told her to save me."

The princess roamed his face and the way his features tensed and his eyes darkened. She recognized this emotion, she had seen it when he had saved her from Smith back in this filthy tavern. "Do you... Do you feel guilty?" she asked.

The pirate sighed. "I have for a while. For a long time actually. But my father was a loving man and he wanted me to live. I feel more guilty for not living up to his expectations than for surviving this day."

"His expectations?"

"He wanted me to join the royal navy", he beamed, smiling fondly at the recollection. "That was my dream and he knew it. I didn't want to be a Traveller, I wanted to sail the four seas and then settle down and fund a family." He stopped and looked out on the open. "And look what I've become, a bitter pirate doomed to an eternity of solitude."

Emma shook her head and took his hand in hers. "Self pity doesn't suit you Captain. Have you forgotten why we're here? I'm not giving up on you Killian."

He smiled at her, sadly and fondly at the same time. Even heartless, she offered him her life. He was not worth it. But telling her would be a terrible idea : the lass was too damn stubborn. She had decided to save him, and he was certain she would.

Maybe she had already saved him.

They kept going in silence, their minds fuzzing, too busy talking with themselves. The beauty of Neverland didn't seem to reach them, which is an exploit. Imagine the purest sand of all, whiter than snow, more glowing than diamonds and thiner than dust. A lavender water, shimmering and clear and gently melting on the sand in soft and foamless waves. A forget-me-not crown of exotic trees framing it all, yellow and red flowers scattered here and there among the blue leaves. And a pale and vivid light cast by the evening sun on these wonders, rays literally dacing with the warm wind and chasing away the shadows. Killian remembered his young days running after the huge butterflies and playing the flute along with the singing of the strange nightingales. The days he had spent in Neverland were like living dreams.

Until it all turned into a nightmare.

* * *

_The wind hissed and slapped and snapped. Shining strips torn the sky apart and ripped the inky-black clouds gathering upon them. The rain flew down their faces, soaked them to the bone. The vessel shook and waved dangerously on the wild sea of Neverland, the water splashing its way on deck in huge and gray rolls. An enormous whirl had appeared near the ship and threatened to engulf it anytime._

"_Killian!" a man's voice shouted across the pouring rain and the biting wind. _

_The young man turned around and saw his father on the other end of the deck, fighting against the __gusts__ and elbowing his way through the mayhem of men. "Father!" he yelled back. _

_He ran towards the man and pushed everyone aside, his eyes locked on his position. When he finally reached him, his father put his hands on Killian's shoulders. "Are you okay son?" he asked with worry._

"_I'm fine," he answered. "What's going on?"_

"_I have no idea, Neverland has gone crazy! I've never seen such a powerful tempest in my whole life!"_

"_What are we gonna do?"_

_His father sucked in a deep breath, looked around him and finally let out : "Pray."_

_Terror marred his father's features and the sight crystallized Killian's blood. Never had he seen his father afraid, terrified. He was seventeen and his father was the one he looked up to, the man he wanted to be. He thought he was different, that this kind of emotions were not his lot. Of course, he was wrong. The man was mortified at the thought of losing his son. He didn't care about his own life, but his son winding up in Davy Jones's locker was something he was not ready to accept. Strongly, he wrapped his arms around his son and closed his eyes, remembering with sadness the smile of his mother and his own tears the day Killian was born. They didn't bring him into this world for him to die without having lived._

"_Son", he said in Killian's ear, "Listen carefully. Neverland has opened a portal of its own. It's something I had only heard of and I didn't think it was even possible, but that's happening right now. For some reason the island doesn't want us there anymore so it's trying to get rid of us. We're probably going to land in the ocean, but I doubt the ship will survive the jumping. So once we're in the ocean, you swim and you forget about me okay? You don't turn back, you swim."_

"_But father-"_

"_Killian, I have lived. I have travelled, I have met your mother and I have loved her deeply, I still do even though she's gone. And I love you. That's why I want you to live, you understand? I want you to know this kind of happiness. I want you to love til madness, because believe me, it's the only thing that's worth living for. Not money, not fame. Love. So you are going to survive this and be happy. Promise me."_

_The young man's eyes peered into his father's, equally blue. "I promise."_

_His father smiled and suddenly, the ship shook and leant and water came crashing down on their heads. Killian's flute tumbled to the ground and disappeared under a wave, but Killian promised himself he wouldn't disappear as easily._

* * *

"So, since you already know Neverland, where do you think my heart is?" Emma inquired.

Killian sighed and scanned the area around him. "It could be anywhere, in the forest, the moutains, in a cave, underwater..."

"_Underwater_?" Emma repeated with scepticism.

Killian smiled at her disbelief. "_Mermaids,_ love. They live in a city under the sea."

The princess chuckled. "Logical."

The pirate stopped in his tracks and turned around so as to face her. "Maybe in order to find your heart you need to listen to it", he said.

"Listen to my heart? Seriously? It's not even in my chest", Emma deadpanned.

He flashed her a devilish smirk. "Exactly. I've worked for an... interesting woman many years ago. She had a fetish for hearts... She told me each heart sang a particular song."

Sure. Singing hearts. She folded her arms over her chest and tilted her head. "And how do you listen to it?"

"You focus and open your ears", Killian quipped. "And you try to trigger the song so as it's sung louder."

"How?"

A half smile broke across his face. "Find something that makes your heart beat faster."

The princess looked down and remembered the months she had spent with the pirate. He was the only one who had managed to make her feel, if only for a moment. He was the trigger, the hole in her chest had found solace in his presence. Her eyes lingered on his face and she curled her lips lightly. She took his good hand gently and pressed it, and he caressed the back of her white hand, both surprised and happy with her move. Emma closed her eyes, soothed by his touch, and focused.

Suddenly, she heaved a heavy sigh and dropped his hand in frustration. "This is ridiculous, hearts don't sing."

"Do you trust me?"

Emma shook her head. "You know I can't technically trust you."

"But do you _want_ to?"

She didn't know what trust was. Only in theory. All she knew was that she wanted to trust him more than anything. "Yes," she let out, holding his gaze.

He moved slightly and he brought the palm of her hand to his lips. His mouth pressed a tender kiss on her soft skin and its warmth sent shivers through her body. And suddenly, a phantasmagoric harmony rang in her ears. Notes deep and heavy, the sound of the regular thumping of a heart mixed with a psychadelic echo. The song of her heart sang Killian Jones's touch.

"Can you hear it?" Killian asked nervously.

"I... I think so", Emma answered, her eyes still close and her features narrowed in focus.

"So, which direction?"

She opened her eyes and glared at him. "How do you want me to know that?"

"Focus on the nature of the song. Is there an echo? Interferences?"

Emma sighed and closed her eyes again. "It's... The sound seems... muffled."

"Water?"

"Maybe. But... There's also an echo."

"Underwater city or cave then."

"Awesome", she deadpanned, rolling her eyes.

Her reaction was welcomed by one of Killia Jones's typical and infuriating smirks. "I hope you can swim love."

"I'm more worried about the breathing underwater thingy", she said wiggling her arms.

"You shouldn't be."

"Why not?"

"A little faith", the pirate beamed before cocking an eyebrow at her, "and pixie dust."

She was in _Neverland_, the place where literally **everything** was possible, and yet, she kept being surprised. And she hated it. She hated the fact that he knew way more than she did. "Where are we gonna find this?"

"Here", he murmured while fidgeting his necklace. It was a silver chain with several pendants. Among them, a cross, an earthy religious symbol apparently, a skull ("pirate", he had told her), and a tiny phial. She hadn't even noticed it before, despite all the 'pirate scanning' she had practiced. "My father gave me this flask when I was sixteen", he said softly, his eyes still locked on the trinket. "It's filled with pixie dust. He never told me how he got it, but it doesn't really matter."

Emma peered at the little pendant and frowned. "Am I supposed to sniff it or something?"

Killian laughed and opened it. He poured some dust on his index and tapped it on the tip of her nose. "So trivial princess", he said amused, "you don't 'sniff' pixie dust."

She did her best not to sneeze. This was crazy. "And now?" she asked.

He put some dust on his nose and smirked. "We swim like hell."

* * *

Emma wondered how the water could be so clear and purple on the surface and so black and opaque underneath. She couldn't see a thing. No fish, no little sea creature, no plant... It was as if she were at the bottom of a bottomless ocean, diving deep in the abyss... But without the pressure, which she was grateful for. She couldn't even see Killian, even though she felt his presence beside her. She didn't know were to go and she wondered if they didn't make a mistake. There was _nothing_ here. Nothing she could see at least. But she trusted the man swimming by her side, she wanted to. He knew this place better than anyone else. She kept swimming deeper. _"Don't stop till I stop you_", he had told her. So she didn't stop.

Suddenly, a hand gripped her wrist and she turned around. Her eyes couldn't make out anything in the darkness, but there definitely was a human shape. She wondered why he had stopped her, there was nothing around them. And the grip on her wrist didn't diminish. On the contrary, it strengthened, and she swore she could feel sharpened nails piercing her flesh. _Killian what the hell_, she thought, and panic, or what she took to be panic, started to rush in her veins. She understood something was terribly wrong when she saw two glowing and green eyes filling the black. The halo of light revealed a strange face and long, long air limp around it and moving like tentacles. _You are definitely not Killian_, Emma thought, cursing herself for not being more careful. Trying to remain as calm as possible, she wiggled and tried to get out of the creature's grasp, but as she moved, an image flashed before her eyes.

_Beautiful butterflies fluttering their motley wings in the air, their blue and white flooded by a bright summer sun. And suddenly, a thumbtack pinning the waving wings on a plank as the little insect fidgeted around and desperately tried to fly. _

A flash of white.

_Bae's face as she told him she didn't love him, the sound of his heart breaking to pieces, its song agonizing and awfully loud and sharp._

A flash of white.

_A warm liquid on her fingertips, crimson and viscous, a dagger diving into her sister's flesh, her eyes wide with terror and disappointment and pure sadness. _

A flash of white.

_Her mother's tears and screams a she ran away from the castle, her father's arms strongly wrapped around her as his own tears rolled down her hair._

A flash of white.

_Her, alone in the dark, her body aching and her heart squeezing, the pain unbearable and unreal, strong, strong, heavy and so strong._

She was drowning, stiffened by her remorses and regrets, the deafening sound of her relatives' pain ringing in her head and tightening her lungs. The tears of her mother flew down her throat, stifling and burning her. The sadness in her sister's eyes wrapped her and dragged her down the abyss. The venim and pain in Bae's words squeezed her being and soon, she stopped wiggling. She let herself sink, envelopped by all the things she had done and all the bare sorrow she had caused. This was how it had to end. The heartless princess drowning in her heartless sins.

But fate had other plans.

She heard a sharp cry and shot her eyes open. The strange creature's mouth was wide open, revealing her sharp teeth, and she yelled in the dark water. A green liquid came out of her back and flooded her, like ink in water, creating delicate volutes, a liquid smoke slowly filling the space. Weak and sore, Emma couldn't move, the water making its way into her and slowly making her its. Her eyelids fell heavily and an arm wrapped her waist as darkness dawned.

* * *

"Emma? Love, can you hear me?"

The air replaced the water in a heartbeat. The princess rolled over painfully and coughed and coughed, the burning sensation gradually fading, contrasting with the cold ground.

"What..." she began before coughing again, "what was this thing?"

"Siren. They kept this cave."

Emma's eyes widened. "You think my heart's there?"

"Sirens are not usually guardians. There must be something very precious here. What's more precious than a princess' heart?"

"Gold?" the princess deadpanned.

The Captain tilted his head to the side and laughed.

"Where are we?" Emma asked.

"We're in a cave. The only way to access this one was to swim and to pass by the sirens. Which indicates it hides something. Can you stand up?"

The princess started to move and hid a wince. "Yes", she answered.

They walked in silence, worry crystal clear in Killian's pale eyes. Emma looked at nothing, her mind was too busy with recollecting what had just happened. The siren had tricked her, she wanted to kill her. This was clear. Somehow, she had tried to drown her in her own regrets, things she didn't even know she had. Her childhood crimes, her sister, Bae, her parents... Sifled with those, she had almost died, the pain had been unbearable, nagging. Was this feeling...? Was this worth it? All the pain, the sorrow?

An arm outstretched in front of her stopped the princess in her tracks and thoughts. Surprised, she looked at Killian and then she followed his amazed look : they were in a crystal cave.

The walls, the ground, the ceiling were translucent, flooding the area in a blue and pale and waving light. It was all so unreal, the way dashes of pale blue stripped and winded on the surface of the cave. It was like walking underwater, and it was thrilling. In front of them lied crystal shelvesfilled with crystal boxes. Underneath the precious material glowed and pumped and sang _hearts_.

"I had heard of this place..." Killian let out, still thunderstruck by the beauty of the cave. "But I had never managed to find it. My father used to look for this place as well... I never understood why he was so hellbent on finding it."

"Killian, what's this place?" Emma sofly inquired.

The pirate's eyes scanned the place once more as if to check his hypothesis. "Slave Cave."

Emma frowned. "_Slave Cave?_ Why such a name?"

"Because when you enter it you're either slave of its beauty of slave because your heart is kept here."

"I don't understand, if my heart's there then why I am not a slave? And I thought your heart needed to be possessed by someone for you to be a slave?"

"The hearts lying in Slave Cave are controlled by the island itself. These are essentially mermaids' and sirens' hearts, useful creatures who keep the intruders away. Yours isn't controlled because you're human."

He took a few steps towards the shelves**,** dazed and distraught, as if he was trying to check something. Emma followed him, intrigued by his strange behavior and the brilliance of the hearts in front of her. The pirate scanned the boxes and suddenly, his fingertips brushed the sapphire letters of one particular box. It was empty. "_Ariel"_, he read.

"Killian..." Emma gently said, putting her hand on his shoulder.

"I... My mother's name was Ariel."

"It's a common-"

"No,", he cut her off, "it's _not _a common name. I never knew her Emma. My father told me she was dead soon after I was born. But... This mermaid he begged to save me that day in the Scarlet Sea... Her eyes were so blue... I... I knew she was not a stranger but I couldn't explain it."

"But how could a mermaid be the mother of a mortal? And if she was from Neverland, how come she ended up in Draiochtland seas?"

A half smile broke across Killian's sad face. "You've never heard of The Little Mermaid's tale, have you love?"

"Enlighten me captain", Emma gently beamed.

"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young mermaid. Her hair was red and long, her eyes bluer than the sea she swam in. She lived in one of the underwater cities of Neverland, but she was unhappy with the fate she was promised to. Indeed, each mermaid of Neverland was destined to serve the island when they'd reach their majority, at the age of sixteen years old. And this service implied being deprived from their hearts. But Ariel was dreamy and romantic, she wanted to find love, so she took an oath. She promised herself her heart would never join the others in Slave Cave."

"The day before she turned sixteen, her eyes fell upon a young and dark-haired mariner named Eric, and she immediately fell in love with him. All her life she had been told that humans were monsters Neverland wanted to keep away from its treasures, that the Travellers had invaded the island. But that night, this mariner on his ship captured her heart. Suddenly, a storm broke and the ship wrecked. She saved Eric and brought him to the shore. She pressed a gentle kiss on his lips and she disappeared under the sea before he woke up. She felt light and glad and thrilled, but she knew she could never live with him : she had a tail while he had legs. So she made a deal with an imp named Rumplestiltskin : he promised her legs if she gave him her heart. The little mermaid realized how sick this deal was, for even if she had legs, she wouldn't be able to love Eric. But she was so eager to see him again that she accepted. The imp took her heart and she was given legs."

"She walked on the beach for hours, the sand hurting her feet like daggers, and she finally found the sailor. Somehow, he recognized her. Ariel remembered him but feelings were now memories. She didn't know what to do. But Eric didn't let her think twice. He ran to her and kissed her. Suddenly, her chest ached : True Love had given her a part of her heart back. Almost all of it. She kissed him back and they conceived a child the same day, under Neverland's nightsky. They lived happily together on the island for nine months. When the baby was born, Ariel's chest ached again : the happiness she had felt when her son saw the light made her heart whole again. But Rumplestiltskin realized his deal was now broken, for the heart had disappeared from his collection and the contract had burned. So the next day, something terrible happened. Ariel's legs turned into a tail and she was back to being a mermaid. This broke the lovers' hearts, for they had to say goodbye. Ariel was banished from Neverland's sea for she had disobeyed, fraternized with a human and denied her destiny as a mermaid. She disappeared from the island, and no one knows what she became."

"That's a sad story", the princess remarked.

Killian's face was unreadable. There was a twinkle of melancholy into his eyes, but he wouldn't let anything else show. "That it is", he let out. "But that's not what we came for."

"Killian..."

"No. Emma, this is _my_ past. Let's focus on our future, shall we?"

Something tickled the pit of her stomach. _**Our**__ future_. _Their_ future. Together. She wouldn't be Emma anymore, she wouldn't be the heartless and careless princess. She knew she felt something for the devilish Captain of the Jolly Roger. But what if pain and misery were bigger emotions? Having her heart back meant being a prey for these feelings. Love had caused Ariel's fall and sorrow. If Emma had her heart back, she would feel the regrets she had experienced over and over again, all her mistakes would haunt her. The siren had almost drowned her into her sins. And if anything happened to her family or Killian, she wouldn't survive it.. Allowing yourself to love, to open up meant giving those people the power to destroy you. And the princess wasn't sure she was ready to risk this. Her parents had decided she would live heartless. Her parents had decided she would get her heart back on her 24th birthday. What if it was time for her to choose for once?

Meanwhile, Killian had taken the heart in his hand. It was so pink and bright and glowing, its melody so pure and rousing. But its thumping became too loud, too deafening,_ too much_. Its brilliance blinded her. The pirate took a step towards the princess, a smile curling his lips. But Emma took a step backwards and the happiness left the corners of his mouth.

"I don't want it", she said shaking her head.

Killian's jaw dropped. "Excuse me?"

"I... I don't want to get my heart back. Ever."

He approached her, his jaw clenched, annoyance and disappointment very clear on his features. "You made me come here, and the Gods know how much I _loathe_ this place. And now you just throw it all away? Why this sudden change of mind?"

"Because having a heart is like being a goddamn lure for misery and pain!" she yelled.

"And that's what makes life so precious Emma!" he yelled back. "Without those awful emotions you wouldn't recognize the happy ones! That's what I've learnt at my expense. I've spent so many years in pain that loving you immediately felt right. "

"You just want me to have this heart because it'll break your curse."

"How can you only think that?" the Captain asked with a cracked voice. "I would sacrifice _everything_ for** you**!"

"Well THIS is who I am, who I've been for 24 years. I won't change, this is me, the heartless bitch whose selfishness is borderless!"

"This is not everything you are Emma."

She glanced down at the heart and tilted her head. "But maybe that's all I want to be."

Whereupon she left the crystal cave, leaving Killian Jones with a beating heart in his hand and a shattered heart in his chest.

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**(1) Fatum** : means destiny in latin, as the English word fate shows.

**(2) Farces** : basically, short humoristic plays that existed through the Middle Ages in France. Inspired by the Greek like Aristophane.

**(3) Moirai** : Also known as the Fates in English or _Parques_ in French. They were 3 : Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos.

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**A/N : So...? Too many things? As you may have noticed I did an effort, I don't leave the space between the word and the punctuation anymore x) But I'm not sure about the direction this story is taking... I felt really inspired, I just hope it stays logical. **

**Thanks a lot to my new followers and reader, each notification means a lot to me. I hope this chapter didn't disappoint after such a long wait! Lots of love. **


	16. The Stars

**A/N : So, as you may have noticed, the rating changed... It's a _soft_ **M** now. Which means smut ahead. I hate spoiling the surprise but I have to warn you as some of you might not like smut and feel uncomfortable. I spent hours and hours writing this chapter. This is my very first smut so please be kind I feel really nervous about this. I hope it doesn't suck too much. Plus I may have theory but I like practice *coughs*. I was inspired by the amazing smut writers of the CS tag on tumblr, so cookies for you. **

**Listen to** Lana Del Rey -_ Young and Beautiful_**, **The Great Gatsby score** (**_Magic Tree and I Let Myself Go_**) and it should increase the feels. **

**Claire, si tu lis ce chapitre (je préfèrerais que tu ne le lises pas XD) ne sois pas choquée. Je sais pas si tu es familière avec ce genre de texte mais les scènes 'explicites' sont très communes dans les fanfictions. Bref, je suis rouge comme une tomate. NE T'AVISE PAS DE PARLER DE CA A QUI QUE CE SOIT. Oui c'est une menace :D**

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**Chapter 16 **

**The Stars**

.

.

She walked and walked and walked. She was drenched to the bone after all the swimming, but she had managed to make it out alive, and _without_ Killian Jones. He had come there for her, to help her feel again. She had asked him to because she wanted to feel and she wanted to help him. But now, it all seemed pointless and ridiculous.

This heart, this precious treasure in the middle of an ancient prophecy... It had caused so many problems,_ and it wasn't even in her chest_. What would happen once it's nestled between her lungs? She just couldn't admit that this simple organ had so much power, the power to change her. Had the person she had been these past twenty four years been nothing but a lie? Had she been a puppet, a shell, a shadow? They were all so eager to see her with her heart. _Fixed_. As if what she was right now was a monstruosity, something that had to be eradicated. Killian said he loved her. But what if he loved the person she was _supposed_ to be? The person he wanted her to be? What if he was in love with a fantasy? It was just too much to take in. She felt empty without wanting to be filled, like a dry lake that would deny all water. She knew she needed it, but she stubbornly wished she had a choice. She wanted to be more than the Orfhlaith, more than a mythological name in a prophecy. She wanted to be **Emma**. She had always wanted to be Emma. She had always craved freedom. But now that she was about to have it, she felt trapped, as if she was only to go from one prison to another. A prison of cold, a prison of heat. The prison of emptiness, the prison of fullness. And never was she to be Emma.

Soon, the sand turned to mud under her feet, and the mud turned to stones. The air became warmer as the landscape grew smaller around her. She was climbing, her body moving forward into Neverland's atmosphere, like a ghost brushing the ground. She felt like she was soaring, and yet, the weight of her thoughts anchored her to the dusty path of the mountain. She was exhausted. Would it ever stop? The questions, the dilemmas, the thinking? She only wanted to give up, she wanted her mind to stop all this fuzzing. She wanted to disappear.

Suddenly, she stopped and glanced up. She was circled by darkness, velvet spotted with flickering sparks. She had reached the top of the mountain, she was on top of this world, an insignificant piece of dust lost in the immensity of the sky, the wind caressing her cheeks and blowing in her golden hair, strangely silverish in the moonlight. She sucked in a breath, oddly touched by the beauty of the sight. The stars shone with all their might, bigger than in her world. Maybe the peak had brought her closer to the sky. Anyhow, she closed her eyes, outstretched her arms and gave herself up to the welcoming night, silently wishing her thoughts would be aspired by the darkness around. But Neverpeak Moutain, for that's where she was standing, didn't plan on leaving the princess alone.

A strong flash of light blinded her through the thin skin of her eyelids and she brought a hand in front of her eyes.

_Emma..._

Had she heard her name?

"Who's there?" she asked.

_Emma, you have to listen. _

"Listen to who?"

_Look up._

She obeyed, more out of curiosity than docility. She noticed how the stars were shining brighter and stronger. Wait-

_You came to us for a reason._

"Wait, am I talking to freaking **stars**?" Emma rubbed her eyes and her jaw dropped. This couldn't be happening. It was too... crazy? "And hold on a second, I didn't 'came to you'."

_Oh but you did. We made you come here. You were so absorbed by your thoughts that we just had to lead your feet. _

Sure. "And why did you want to talk to me?" She couldn't even believe she was saying that.

_For the same reason we talked to Killian many years ago. For you two to be together. _

"What-"

_You are written in the stars Emma. You and Killian. We've been waiting for you for centuries. You are the Orfhlaith, he is the Hybrid. _

Woah, the _hybrid_? It sounded like a bad fairytale written by some scribbler. "What do you mean?" the princess asked, folding her arms across her.

_Killian was born from a mortal and a mermaid. Not only is he the product of True Love, just like you are, but he's the combination of two different species who have been opposed forever. He's the link, the one who'll brought peace to Neverland. _

She quirked an eyebrow at the sky (damn she couldn't believe she was actually _doing_ that)"I thought Neverland had a mind of its own?"

_It does. It has always been a dark place which beauty is deceiving. But it was written that the Hybrid would bring peace to Neverland and that his union with the Orfhlaith would save him. If you don't save him from his curse, Neverland will be lost forever. _

"And I should care because...?" she let out in a sigh.

_Because he's the man who's been loving you for six years and who never gave up on you. He chose you, now it's your turn to choose him. _

_Choice_... Six letters for six years. Six years she had spent trying to figure out who she was, what was wrong with her and so on. Six years he had dedicated to her, hiding in the dark, watching over her. She still couldn't believe someone would want her so badly, because the simple thought of addiction was foreign to her. She had never been addicted to anything. She got tired fastly, she was moody and unsatisfied by nature. But he had be faithful to her while they had met once. Even though she was a means to an end, a way to break his curse, so was he for her. Did it mean there couldn't be anything else lying under the utility?

She didn't know. She was in the deepest darkness.

Both literally and figuratively.

The stars were slowly fading in dawn, their brilliance matified by the clear budding blue sky. Ribbons of pale light twirled on the purple vault, ripping the seam from the veil of the night while some stars lingered here, silver sparks lost among the gold. The astounding beauty of Neverland lay in front of Emma's eyes, tickling all of her senses, fillig her eyes, flattering her nose, comforting her ears. She closed her eyes and thought about how it all could _feel_ if only she had a heart. Would she be _moved_ by this beauty? What would a heart add to these physical sensations? Emotions, sensations, the human race had been graced with those for a good reason. They all felt both, all the people around her, feeling the unity of the world in a duet of tools some God had given them to experience life. And yet, here she was, Emma Elea of Eurwen, the Orfhlaith, standing on top of the land where time was used and abused, lost in her thoughts.

"If only I had been deprived of my conscience too", she sighed.

"Maybe I wouldn't have fallen in love with you then", a voice said behind her.

She didn't need to turn around to know whose voice it was. "Maybe it would've been for the best", she whispered.

He came closer to her, placing himself right behind her. She could feel his hot breath in the crook of her neck, blow of fire in the fresh morning air. "A world without you could never be for the best Emma", he softly said.

Emma chuckled. How could he always be so poetic even in the most desperate situations? A pirate-poet. Yes, she had seen it all. She turned around to face him, the rising sun now scorching her back. "It's all hopeless Killian. You, me... I... If we were supposed to be together, wouldn't it be much simpler?"

"Love is never easy darling. And I'm pretty sure that the more obstacles stand on our way, the stronger our love will be", he added, fluttering lashes in a mocking way.

She tilted her head to the side. "You just made that up."

"But it doesn't mean I don't believe it." He lifted her chin with his hook. "Emma, look at me. After Milah, I thought I would never love again. I was cold, emotionless, _heartless_. I wouldn't let myself feel because all love had brought me was pain. But this was the easy way. The_ wrong_ way."

"Well you made up for this. I'm far from being an easy challenge."

"But I love a challenge. I..." He glanced at the sky behind her, trying to figure out how to word his thoughts without sounding totally ridiculous. "I love you Emma. The way you roll you eyes when I annoy you. The way you turn your back on me and walk to a bloody peak... the way you break my heart."

She shook her head. "You're a masochist."

Killian flashed her a weak smile and shrugged. "I'm a man. Trust me, I'd rather suffer than not feeling anything at all. At least I feel alive."

She peered into his blue eyes, taking in his words. She had left her home to find freedom, to feel something. She had been trapped into an icy world for far too long, caught into her own coldness. Now she had the choice. It was her time.

Killian looked down and fetched his stachel. He held it before him, and the light within was so warm and bright... The sound soothing, and the princess felt like every beat of her heart called out her name. The pirate gently took the heart from its envelop and Emma gulped.

"Now", he began, "do you want to live, or do you prefer remaining dead?"

She looked at him, her brows frowned in a sad expression, and then glanced down at the racing organ nestled in the small of his hand. She sucked in a deep breath, chasing her thoughts away and focusing on the melody of her heart. She listened to it very carefully, taking in every single note, trying to figure out what to do. She opened her eyes and she was transfixed by the red glow on Killian's hand, the way his flesh wrapped her heart. Suddenly, the melody became more frantic, erratic, feverish. And she knew. There was no turning back. This heart wasn't hers anyway. It was _his_.

She took Killian's hand in hers and brought it to her chest, much to the pirate's surprise. "I want to live", she said, her eyes locked on his.

The pirate silently nodded, and exhaled loudly, visibly nervous. She tightened her grip on his hand and caressed his callous skin with her fingers. "I trust you Killian". And it was all he needed. Slowly, his hand moved and approached her chest, rising and falling faster with every inch of space reducing between her heart and herself. And suddenly, it was there. She felt a sharp pain, Killian's hand diving into her, and then a steady rhythm pulsing and echoing in her being. Out of breath, she put a trembling hand on her bosom. The beats throbbed against her palm and her mind opened doors she wanted to keep closed. The regrets the mermaid had triggered came crashing down and she felt panic run through her veins. Her breathing grew frantic as the memories, the feelings overwhelmed her, _trapped_ her. It was all too much. Her heart was racing in her chest and she felt a sudden urge to cry. Without her consent, tears had begun to trickle down her cheeks, and she cursed herself. Anger started to pulse into her, and then disgust. She was being so weak, so fragile. It all blended, the wrath, the regrets, the sadness, the self-loathing, the fear, the panic. And this strange warmth when Killian put his hand on her shoulder...

She shook off his hand abruptly and brought her hands to her temples. "I can't do this", she stuttered, avoiding his worried look.

She was about to pass him by and run away like the coward she had become when she felt the pirate's hand grasping her wrist and forcing her to face him. Before she knew what was happening, his mouth was on hers and a huge wave of heat came washing all her fear away. She didn't return the kiss immediately, thunderstruck by the way her heart was racing in her chest at his touch. But then he cupped her cheek with his good hand and she closed her eyes, wrapped in a delightful warmth. It was a passionate kiss, different from everything she had experienced with Bae. There was _love_ in the way their lips moved together, as if they were speaking a language of their own.

Killian broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers, his eyes still closed. "If my heart is in my chest, why do I feel like it's still in your hand?" Emma asked in a husky voice, her breath dying against his half-opened mouth. She saw a smile break across his face under her lashes, and she laughed. She was being the cheesy one now. He glanced up at her, a spark of _adoration _flooding the blue of his irises. "Does it mean you love me princess?" he asked, brushing off a strand of her golden hair. She smiled and leant in to kiss him. "What do you think?" she murmured against his lips.

There was no going back. She clung to his shirt as he ran his hand through her hair, their searing kiss deafening all thoughts. She nipped at his bottom lip, his mouth parting in a knowing smirk. She shivered when she felt his hook make its way underneath her blouse, gently brushing its coldness on the heated skin of her back. Their lips glided over each other smoothly and she could feel all the years of the words unsaid printed on his mouth. He captured her bottom lip in his lips and then let his mouth trail litte kisses on her neck. With half-lidded eyes she let the budding sunrays of the rising sun bathe her in their warmth, and her hands left Killian's shirt to caress his dark hair. She felt everything. The fresh wind blowing against her hot skin, Killian's wanting groans, an almost painful heat spreading in her stomach, and a complete and overwhelming love.

She felt her heart leap in her throat when the pirate's hand reached her lower back, his mouth now devouring her ear. She wrapped both arms around his neck and let him lay her down. Once on her back, the ground felt mossy and soft, warm and soothing, following the curves of her body. Her eyes flitted open and she cast a glance around : the peak was still gray and stony, but she saw Killian's hand melting in the ground, as if the surface had adjusted just for them. Maybe it had. What a _handy_ place. Emma closed her eyes and chuckled, causing Killian to stop his ministrations. He looked at her with amused and confused eyes : "What's so funny love?", he asked. She put her hand on his chest and caressed it softly. "Nothing", she replied shaking her head, "it's just that Neverland _really_ seems to want us together." A devilish grin flashed on Killian's face. "Then let's give this bloody island what it craves".

With these words, he took off his black shirt and tossed it aside, now quirking an eyebrow at the blonde below him. "You're far too dressed Emma", he stated with hungry eyes. The princess smirked and bit her lower lip. "And you're far too chatty Captain", she whispered. Of course, the sentence turned into "_Speak don't act_" in the Captain's mind, and his hand was on the edge of her shirt in a heartbeat. Emma giggled, yes, _giggled_, and outstretched her arms so that he could peel her shirt off. The picture lying under the fabric painted the pirate's cheeks in red, lust pouring from his eyes. The sun flooded her breasts with its luminous heat, gold on ivory, and he leant forward to taste its hotness on her skin. A moan escaped from Emma's mouth as his lips descended on her nipple, but the captain was a man of many talents. The back of his hook glided over her other breast while his mouth was filled with her soft flesh and he heard her breath quicken and come out feverishly. The bulge in his leather pants spoke words that didn't need to be spoken out loud : he was more than ready for her, but he wanted to worship her body, her soul, her _heart_. Six years of desire lingered in his every move, and he wished he could stay like this for six other years.

Emma whimpered when she felt his fingers unlacing her pants, more than aware of the wetness between her legs. She arched her back to help him take her pants off, and his fingers started to _walk_ along her thighs, delicately stepping on the white fabric of her undergarments. "Having fun down there Captain?" she inquired in a smile. Killian glanced up at her, mischievous as ever. "Not just yet love", he said before skillfully brushing her core through the lace. "But it's just a matter of _seconds_ now". She bit down her lip knowingly, maybe a little too hard, but pain was now a foreign sensation. It was all bliss and felicity, heat and solace. The pirate smirked at the state of her undergarments : Killian Jones couldn't resisy a damp fabric. Gently but hungrily, he peeled off the last piece of material covering her body and threw it away. His eyes locked on hers, telling her silent dirty things she was sure, and one of his fingers came soothing her sensitive bundle of nerves. Crave emanated from these intertwined bodies, poured from their every pore, filled the morning air of Neverland. Emma's breath increased as the sun rose in the sky, as if the very sun followed her arousal. Killian kissed her, this time hot and hard, seeking entrance with his greedy tongue. She accepted gladly, their lips overlapping, their tongues lacing, their breaths mingling.

Soon he slipped a finger between her folds and she gasped, breaking the kiss. Killian flashed her a satisfied and even childish smile. "_I won"_, it said. But there was nothing childish about the way his finger dived into her before coming out, tenderly, sensually. He lowered down and kissed her belly, his now two fingers teasing her and making her hungry for _more_. She gently gripped his hair. "Killian stop being such a tease", she whined. But of course, he didn't stop. He picked up the pace with a wickedly cocky grin on his face, caressing her clit with the back of his hook, and she moaned loudly, her hands digging in the soft ground, her limbs twitching as her orgasm coursed through her. "It's not teasing if I actually please you my love", Killian whispered against her neck. Out of breath, she ran her hand above his leather-covered shaft, hellbent on making him pay. "Take that off", she breathed.

"As my lady commands", he quipped, and he lazily got rid of his leather pants, taking his time. "Are you kidding me?" Emma laughed under him, causing his grin to widen. "Patience is a virtue princess, I'm sure your mother taught you that."

"Yes, but she didn't teach me _that_", she replied, her hand grasping his hard length and covering it like a feather. He took a sharp intake of breath, surprised by her initiative, but utterly satisfied. He kissed her overconfident smile away and she tightened her grip, going up and down, changing the pace, rough and slow, slow and rough. He groaned in her mouth and adjusted himself on top of her, getting away from her grip. He remained still for a moment, his eyes roaming her face marred by desire, and suddenly all the carefree tone had gone : it wasn't a game. It wasn't him screwing a tavern wench nor her fucking Bae in the stables. It was the apex of six years of longing, of a lifetime of wait. They had waited for each other forever and now, as the sun was smiling above them, as time and space were a chimera, they were finally coming together, like a star that would've been looking for its galaxy. This was _home_.

With one last kiss of his eyes, he lined himself up at her entrance, the tip of his shaft gently rubbing her folds and clit, and sank into her slowly, almost afraid that she would vanish under his tense body. She gasped and whimpered, the feeling of him buried into her almost too much to bear. He began to move into her at a slow and languid pace, letting her heat swallow him completely, and when his cock hit bottom, she yanked her legs around his waist. He caressed her leg as she rocked beneath him, and suddenly he placed his hand behind her back and pulled her up. They were both sitting in front of each other, on each other, laced, entangled. She exhaled and he captured her mouth, swallowing her moan. They undulated in unison, like the ebb and the incoming tide of the sea, their lips sealed and muffling their cries of pleasure. They finally parted and Killian nuzzled his face in the crook of her neck, inhaling and kissing her shoulder as he plunged into her harder. She shivered and wrapped her hands around his neck, a growing heat taking over her. She felt her toes curling and she arched her back, rocking faster against him, her breath turning into sharp and short sighs. The pirate let out a throaty groan and picked up the pace again, feeling her starting crumble down against him.

Emma whined loudly as her body twiched and she pressed her chest against Killian's, fully embracing him, her forehead resting against his clenched jaw. Her walls tightened around him and with one last heavy groan he spilled into her as she came apart, her whole body trembling. He tightened his grip around her so that she wouldn't fall, breathy and dizzy, his eyes closed, afraid to open them. What if this had been a mere fantasy? One of Neverland's sick tricks? He opened his blue eyes as he inhaled deeply and exhaled when his look fell upon Emma's rosy cheeks, her forehead covered in sweat, her half-opened mouth and her half-lidded eyes. She gulped and flitted her eyes open, a smile trapped in the corner of her lips. With him still buried in her and his arms wrapped around her waist, she brought a hand to the back of his neck and soothed it gently, her fingers playing with his wet hair. He smiled lightly and kissed her nose, her forehead, her eyelids, her mouth, printing himself on her and capturing her all at once. Without a word he left her warmth and lay down, bringing her to his side. She rested her head on his heart, its rate slowly decreasing, and she knew every thump was for her. His fingers came stroking her arm and he kiss the crown of her hair. "Every fiber of my being belongs to you..." he whispered to her as if he had heard her thoughts. In another situation, with another man, Emma would've scoffed, rolled her eyes and got up. What a sappy line. But _he_ had uttered those words and they had melted against her skin, spreading a gentle warmth through her, curling her lips into a wide smile. "I love you," she murmured over his heart, feeling her own pounding in her chest as the words came out of her mouth. This wasn't a lie. The attraction she had felt for him all this time was now multiplied by the feels nestling underneath her skin. She felt whole in his arms, the melody of his beating hear lulling her.

And all of a sudden, in a heartbeat, something changed.

Killian's chest rose sharply and he winced. Emma moved onto her elbow and looked at him with dread, the pain marring his face making her sick. But as fast as it had appeared, the pain vanished, and his chest glowed white for a split second. The princess frowned and was about to speak when he cut her off. "Looks like my soul's back," he beamed. She closed her eyes and sighed, annoyed. "I had no idea it would be _that_ literal," she mumbled, falling back into her previous position. "Says the woman whose heart was put into her chest not long ago," he noticed. She pinched him and cuddled closer to him. "I love you too," Killian let out, the syllables falling onto her sun-kissed hair and sliding down her curls, straight to her heart. "I know," she answered.

All of a sudden, the wind blew a little stronger and came cover them, the light breeze turning into a pale and almost transparent fabric. The windy sheet fell upon them like millions of feathers and barely hid their bare and laced bodies. "What the hell?" Emma asked, her rational-self tested severly. Killian chuckled. "Neverland wanted us together and, well, I guess that's the aftermath gift."

Emma sighed and rubbed her sleepy eyes. "No offense, but this island is a crazy fucker." Killian laughed and tightened his grip, snuggling her closer. No words could be enough to describe the way he felt about Emma Elea of Eurwen, the way his heart leapt in his throat at her touch, the way he cursed himself because he knew all too well that he felt like a teenager when she was around, clumsy, and ridiculously in love. The princess closed her eyes once again, listening to the beating of his heart and hers. Every beat was for him. Every note, every pulse. Every shoot of blood sent through her veins. It was all for him, because of him. He had put her heart back in her chest, and yet, she knew he would own it forever.

The sun set in the sky, far too early, as if to circle them with a comforting darkness. With this pumping lullaby and the freshness of the moon she drifted to sleep, _whole_.

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**A/N : *hides in a corner* I hope it wasn't too bad, writing smut is... special. And VERY exhausting, I spent HOURS on this little bit. Kinda hard to write something you don't know but well. ANYWAY I hope you liked it, I know it was sappy as fuck but hey, I AM A SAPPY PERSON. **

**There should be one more chapter and an epilogue. The end is near my dear friends. Thanks for reading/following/favoriting!**

**You know what would be amazing? A REVIEW :D**


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